El-Jefe

[82bordeaux]

We had such a great night tonight. I hope that @El-Jefe got the opportunity to watch even though he's clearly not on his computer and has a lot on his plate. We should pause to be grateful for what we have, and put all of this in perspective. Praying that our fellow wrestling lover's family is doing OK. Hang tough E-J. Your boys did you proud tonight!

 

[backdrft76]

We definitely missed our #1 poster.

Hope all is well.

 

[Used2BEerie]

Hope we carried the bucket for you! Prayers to you and your family.

 

[El-Jefe]

I'm more like the Number Two poster, but anyway ...

Thanks to all for your concern and support. It's greatly appreciated.

Before I get into details: it's a tough time, but I'm doing OK enough to support my family.

On Tuesday I got the call that everyone dreads -- the one where the other person can't talk. My sister found her husband slumped over, dead of a heart attack. She called me right after calling 911, devastated.

They're still relatively young (retired in Jan 2020). There was no prior indication of health issues. At our family Zoom call that Saturday, even getting a hangnail would've been surprising. Losing him 3 days later was inconceivable.

So my wife and I hit the road ASAP and just returned a few hours ago. I'll be going back Thursday (conveniently enough, I have a shot appointment halfway there). There will be more trips.

My sister seems to be holding up about as well as can be expected. But she's in that eye of the storm where she's mostly numb. She's past the initial shock of finding him, but the next wave hasn't hit her yet. Every so often she says something that means she's hurting without saying those words. Dad is crushed. My nephew is trying hard to keep it together for his mom, but needs help too.

Complicating matters is that she wants to defer a service until the entire family can be together in person -- but we have no idea when my brother can leave SE Asia. Right now he could probably come in May -- but he can't go back until virus restrictions over there loosen up. (Plus his country of residence is imposing 3-week quarantines on airline crews from outside the region -- which means no US flights.)

Ironically, Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate it this year, and I'm sure it'll be bittersweet in future years. But that doesn't matter right now. Gotta get my sister past this stage, and then help her thru her anniversary, the holidays, their birthdays, etc. (Thankfully I'm married to a saint.)

There are some things to be grateful for: My wife and her family and completely supportive and understanding. My nephew lives with my sister; Dad lives next door. I work remotely, so I can work from Dad's house. We will have all had our shots by the end of this week. Dad is almost 92 and can mostly take care of himself (other than not driving). My brother-in-law was well known and popular, so there has been an outpouring of support. And thankfully they sold their business early last year.

So while this is a very difficult time, it could be much worse than it is. Little things do help.

 

[PSUer1989]

I am so sorry. Prayers for your sister, you and the whole family

 

[Chickenman Testa]

I'm more like the Number Two poster, but anyway ...

Thanks to all for your concern and support. It's greatly appreciated.

Before I get into details: it's a tough time, but I'm doing OK enough to support my family.

On Tuesday I got the call that everyone dreads -- the one where the other person can't talk. My sister found her husband slumped over, dead of a heart attack. She called me right after calling 911, devastated.

They're still relatively young (retired in Jan 2020). There was no prior indication of health issues. At our family Zoom call that Saturday, even getting a hangnail would've been surprising. Losing him 3 days later was inconceivable.

So my wife and I hit the road ASAP and just returned a few hours ago. I'll be going back Thursday (conveniently enough, I have a shot appointment halfway there). There will be more trips.

My sister seems to be holding up about as well as can be expected. But she's in that eye of the storm where she's mostly numb. She's past the initial shock of finding him, but the next wave hasn't hit her yet. Every so often she says something that means she's hurting without saying those words. Dad is crushed. My nephew is trying hard to keep it together for his mom, but needs help too.

Complicating matters is that she wants to defer a service until the entire family can be together in person -- but we have no idea when my brother can leave SE Asia. Right now he could probably come in May -- but he can't go back until virus restrictions over there loosen up. (Plus his country of residence is imposing 3-week quarantines on airline crews from outside the region -- which means no US flights.)

Ironically, Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate it this year, and I'm sure it'll be bittersweet in future years. But that doesn't matter right now. Gotta get my sister past this stage, and then help her thru her anniversary, the holidays, their birthdays, etc. (Thankfully I'm married to a saint.)

There are some things to be grateful for: My wife and her family and completely supportive and understanding. My nephew lives with my sister; Dad lives next door. I work remotely, so I can work from Dad's house. We will have all had our shots by the end of this week. Dad is almost 92 and can mostly take care of himself (other than not driving). My brother-in-law was well known and popular, so there has been an outpouring of support. And thankfully they sold their business early last year.

So while this is a very difficult time, it could be much worse than it is. Little things do help.

Brutal. Sorry to hear that dude. It’s up to us here to up our gif/meme/video game to cheer you up.
Hang in there brother

 

[El-Jefe]

So anyway, on to happier topics:

I have not watched any of the matches -- but look forward to the @nerfstate Byers Finals compilation.

4 for 4 in the finals ... hot damn.

6 guys ended their seasons with a W. Hard to overstate how important that is for next year.

8 guys met or beat their seed. Again, hard to overstate this.

Lurked some and thanks to @Tom McAndrew for the PBP, and to everyone else for being the usual knuckleheads. Needed the laughs.

Also, Tom: KY.

 

[PSUcup1]

Sorry for your loss .... prayers to your entire family !!

 

[nerfstate]

Ouch. I feel your pain. It was my father inlaws’s sudden passing that hit us in late February. So tough for a family, even without all the Covid hoops....

hang in there, boss! 4 finals now complete, link in the byers thread.

 

[7brwnpsu]

Welcome back El. I hope time will heal the broken hearts, but we never forget the ones we love.

 

[pawrestlersintn]

I'm more like the Number Two poster, but anyway ...

Thanks to all for your concern and support. It's greatly appreciated.

Before I get into details: it's a tough time, but I'm doing OK enough to support my family.

On Tuesday I got the call that everyone dreads -- the one where the other person can't talk. My sister found her husband slumped over, dead of a heart attack. She called me right after calling 911, devastated.

They're still relatively young (retired in Jan 2020). There was no prior indication of health issues. At our family Zoom call that Saturday, even getting a hangnail would've been surprising. Losing him 3 days later was inconceivable.

So my wife and I hit the road ASAP and just returned a few hours ago. I'll be going back Thursday (conveniently enough, I have a shot appointment halfway there). There will be more trips.

My sister seems to be holding up about as well as can be expected. But she's in that eye of the storm where she's mostly numb. She's past the initial shock of finding him, but the next wave hasn't hit her yet. Every so often she says something that means she's hurting without saying those words. Dad is crushed. My nephew is trying hard to keep it together for his mom, but needs help too.

Complicating matters is that she wants to defer a service until the entire family can be together in person -- but we have no idea when my brother can leave SE Asia. Right now he could probably come in May -- but he can't go back until virus restrictions over there loosen up. (Plus his country of residence is imposing 3-week quarantines on airline crews from outside the region -- which means no US flights.)

Ironically, Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate it this year, and I'm sure it'll be bittersweet in future years. But that doesn't matter right now. Gotta get my sister past this stage, and then help her thru her anniversary, the holidays, their birthdays, etc. (Thankfully I'm married to a saint.)

There are some things to be grateful for: My wife and her family and completely supportive and understanding. My nephew lives with my sister; Dad lives next door. I work remotely, so I can work from Dad's house. We will have all had our shots by the end of this week. Dad is almost 92 and can mostly take care of himself (other than not driving). My brother-in-law was well known and popular, so there has been an outpouring of support. And thankfully they sold their business early last year.

So while this is a very difficult time, it could be much worse than it is. Little things do help.

So sorry for your loss, Jefe. Thought about you a number of times through the weekend, missing your wit and wisdom.

 

[tikk10]

My best to you and your family, Jefe. I've been on my share of those phone calls and the experience doesn't make it any less tough and heartbreaking.

 

[Ja1339]

I'm more like the Number Two poster, but anyway ...

Thanks to all for your concern and support. It's greatly appreciated.

Before I get into details: it's a tough time, but I'm doing OK enough to support my family.

On Tuesday I got the call that everyone dreads -- the one where the other person can't talk. My sister found her husband slumped over, dead of a heart attack. She called me right after calling 911, devastated.

They're still relatively young (retired in Jan 2020). There was no prior indication of health issues. At our family Zoom call that Saturday, even getting a hangnail would've been surprising. Losing him 3 days later was inconceivable.

So my wife and I hit the road ASAP and just returned a few hours ago. I'll be going back Thursday (conveniently enough, I have a shot appointment halfway there). There will be more trips.

My sister seems to be holding up about as well as can be expected. But she's in that eye of the storm where she's mostly numb. She's past the initial shock of finding him, but the next wave hasn't hit her yet. Every so often she says something that means she's hurting without saying those words. Dad is crushed. My nephew is trying hard to keep it together for his mom, but needs help too.

Complicating matters is that she wants to defer a service until the entire family can be together in person -- but we have no idea when my brother can leave SE Asia. Right now he could probably come in May -- but he can't go back until virus restrictions over there loosen up. (Plus his country of residence is imposing 3-week quarantines on airline crews from outside the region -- which means no US flights.)

Ironically, Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate it this year, and I'm sure it'll be bittersweet in future years. But that doesn't matter right now. Gotta get my sister past this stage, and then help her thru her anniversary, the holidays, their birthdays, etc. (Thankfully I'm married to a saint.)

There are some things to be grateful for: My wife and her family and completely supportive and understanding. My nephew lives with my sister; Dad lives next door. I work remotely, so I can work from Dad's house. We will have all had our shots by the end of this week. Dad is almost 92 and can mostly take care of himself (other than not driving). My brother-in-law was well known and popular, so there has been an outpouring of support. And thankfully they sold their business early last year.

So while this is a very difficult time, it could be much worse than it is. Little things do help.

So sorry to hear, prayers for your sister and your whole family El Jefe.

 

[Tom McAndrew]

Also, Tom: KY.

all my work setting up the Session threads, and doing the PBP, and I fear the KY designation will be what most folks remember years from now. Oh well.

My deepest condolences to your sister, your nephew, and your entire family. I, unfortunately, have personal experience with an otherwise healthy family member dying unexpectedly, and before the time that anyone that knew them (or anyone that looked at an actuary table), would have expected. The passing of a loved one can be tough in any situation, but that is a particularly difficult scenario for immediate family members to cope with. Provide them with as much time, love, and empathy as you can. And while everybody is different, don't be surprised if it takes at least a year for them to be nearly back to normal. For me, I found it helped each night to figure out a task to complete the following day. It gave me some purpose, and something to do with my time, and helped to take my mind away from the pain. Only time well tell what works best for your sister and your nephew, but feel free to suggest to them the technique that I employed.

You certainly were missed in the Session threads.

 

[royboy]

So anyway, on to happier topics:

I have not watched any of the matches -- but look forward to the @nerfstate Byers Finals compilation.

4 for 4 in the finals ... hot damn.

Thanks for sharing the story and very sorry for your loss, and the shock and sadness for your sister.

As to watching the finals, I feel sure it will put a smile on your face. I've watched the PSU matches at least 5 times now and still enjoy seeing the hard won victories.

 

[PSU Mike]

Sorry, Jefe. We held out hope it was a crisis that would turn out ok somehow. Hoping your sister and nephew find comfort from their support system, like you.

 

[Grass]

Sorry for you loss. Something similar happened to one of my best friend’s Dad. Was talking on the phone and dropped dead of a heart attack. One month prior was given a clean bill of health after an annual check up. I volunteered to pick my friend up at the airport as he was living in San Francisco at the time. That was one hard drive back from the airport.

 

[86PSUPaul]

So sorry for your loss...

 

[Sportfan2017]

So sorry for your families' loss. My sympathies to you all. One step at a time....forward. Sending prayers and best wishes.

 

[District four]

Thoughts and prayers jefe. Hang in there

 

[El-Jefe]

all my work setting up the Session threads, and doing the PBP, and I fear the KY designation will be what most folks remember years from now. Oh well.

My deepest condolences to your sister, your nephew, and your entire family. I, unfortunately, have personal experience with an otherwise healthy family member dying unexpectedly, and before the time that anyone that knew them (or anyone that looked at an actuary table), would have expected. The passing of a loved one can be tough in any situation, but that is a particularly difficult scenario for immediate family members to cope with. Provide them with as much time, love, and empathy as you can. And while everybody is different, don't be surprised if it takes at least a year for them to be nearly back to normal. For me, I found it helped each night to figure out a task to complete the following day. It gave me some purpose, and something to do with my time, and helped to take my mind away from the pain. Only time well tell what works best for your sister and your nephew, but feel to suggest to them the technique that I employed.

You certainly were missed in the Session threads.

Appreciate it.

Luckily your advice is pretty much built-in with Dad living next door to them. While he can largely take care of himself, he's still a handful. He's 91 and does something wacky nearly every day. (For example: let's just say I needed to ensure my wife slept in until after his morning weighing. We can all guess why. He's 91 and lives by himself.)

Part of me going up there is to give her a little relief from his shenanigans. Also she gets some relief by seeing me experience a small part of what she deals with.

He plays the piano a lot and likes to cook, so that gives him something to do (especially while she's not in the mood to cook).

Plus my brother-in-law's hobby was training border collies to herd sheep. They own a second property with a dozen sheep. She'll probably sell the livestock this year, but there are many more pressing decisions, so that gives them daily tasks in the meantime. I suspect she'll keep the land as long as her 5 dogs are active, so that's some occasional maintenance for at least a few years.

 

[pish69]

Prayers to your family Jefe. Sorry to hear this news

 

[nittinsc]

Sorry for your family's loss. Everyone deals with things differently, but I've found laughter and remembering good times helps a good deal for most.

 

[creamery freak]

So sorry for your loss EJ. Prayers for your sister her son and your entire family. Definitely missed your wit and humor in the finals threads. Stay strong.

 

[Psalm 1 guy]

El-Jefe, I am sorry for what you are going through right now. The death of a loved one, especially when it is unexpected, can be such a jarring event. My brother passed away unexpectedly at age 41, so I can empathize with what you are going through. I am thankful you live relatively close to your sister and Dad. They will need your support. I will be praying for you and your family. Gaylon

 

[nitlion6]

I'm more like the Number Two poster, but anyway ...

Thanks to all for your concern and support. It's greatly appreciated.

Before I get into details: it's a tough time, but I'm doing OK enough to support my family.

On Tuesday I got the call that everyone dreads -- the one where the other person can't talk. My sister found her husband slumped over, dead of a heart attack. She called me right after calling 911, devastated.

They're still relatively young (retired in Jan 2020). There was no prior indication of health issues. At our family Zoom call that Saturday, even getting a hangnail would've been surprising. Losing him 3 days later was inconceivable.

So my wife and I hit the road ASAP and just returned a few hours ago. I'll be going back Thursday (conveniently enough, I have a shot appointment halfway there). There will be more trips.

My sister seems to be holding up about as well as can be expected. But she's in that eye of the storm where she's mostly numb. She's past the initial shock of finding him, but the next wave hasn't hit her yet. Every so often she says something that means she's hurting without saying those words. Dad is crushed. My nephew is trying hard to keep it together for his mom, but needs help too.

Complicating matters is that she wants to defer a service until the entire family can be together in person -- but we have no idea when my brother can leave SE Asia. Right now he could probably come in May -- but he can't go back until virus restrictions over there loosen up. (Plus his country of residence is imposing 3-week quarantines on airline crews from outside the region -- which means no US flights.)

Ironically, Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate it this year, and I'm sure it'll be bittersweet in future years. But that doesn't matter right now. Gotta get my sister past this stage, and then help her thru her anniversary, the holidays, their birthdays, etc. (Thankfully I'm married to a saint.)

There are some things to be grateful for: My wife and her family and completely supportive and understanding. My nephew lives with my sister; Dad lives next door. I work remotely, so I can work from Dad's house. We will have all had our shots by the end of this week. Dad is almost 92 and can mostly take care of himself (other than not driving). My brother-in-law was well known and popular, so there has been an outpouring of support. And thankfully they sold their business early last year.

So while this is a very difficult time, it could be much worse than it is. Little things do help.

Sorry isn't enough, but it is what I have plus a prayer for your BIL, sister, nephew and entire family.
Deepest sorrow.

 

[Carl Spackler]

In no way can any of us express the collective sorrow this news brought to the board last week El-Jefe. Our most sincere condolences to you, your family and most importantly, you sister. She will have to deal with a completely new life now so unexpectedly. Our prayers have been sent for her support in the coming days and years. The avatar I use represents the loss of three cousins, two infants and a six year old in a horrible tragedy many years ago yet the pain of it lingers. No one is replaceable but our memories of them sustain us over time. Blessing to you and your family.

 

[Psalm 1 guy]

As a retired law enforcement officer I responded to numerous death calls. Sometimes I would have a Crisis Intervention volunteer respond to assist the grieving family. One resource they would give the family was an After Death Checklist. It can be very helpful for the family. Here are some of the items from that list to assist others down the road if they unfortunately are in need of it:

- Check if a will or trust is in place in the decedent's name
- Notify the Social Security Administration (800) 772-1213
- Notify the Veterans Administration if the decedent is a veteran
- For a military retiree receiving benefits call (800) 269-5170
- Contact DMV if the decedent had a driver's license or state ID card
- Notify the credit card and merchant card companies
- Contact bank, credit union, etc.
- Contact mortgage company
- Check on any outstanding personal, automobile or other loans
- Contact decedent's financial planner or stock broker
- Notify pension provider
- Notify life insurance provider
- Notify the following insurers: life, medical, dental, disability, automobile, homeowners
- Notify one (who will in turn notify the other two) of the credit reporting agencies (Experian [888 397-3742], Equifax [800 685-1111] or TransUnion [888 909-8872] ) to notify them the account holder is deceased
- Notify and check with the decedent's employer regarding: spousal death benefits or children's benefits, retirement benefits due spouse, outstanding vacation hours due
- Notify utility companies including: gas and electric, water, cable TV, internet, trash, home and cell phone
- Cancel magazine subscriptions, any clubs, (including health and athletic clubs), and any group memberships and organizations

 

[Dogwelder]

Hi Jefe,

I’d like to say a word of comfort to you.

Plethora

 

[Callthestall]

As I noted a few times, I'm quite familiar from my profession on what your sister and your family is going through. Everyone handles mourning different. There is no right or wrong on the healing process. Typically the people that heal faster are the ones that stay active with everyday life. Listless time can be difficult on a person after a loss of a loved one. The healing will slowly make memories of sorrow turn into memories of fondness and reflection. Your sister might need a Rock to help in the recovery. I believe you would qualify to be Gibralter.

 

[Reslo]

Jefe, all the best to you and your family during this most difficult time. As we say in the north of Wales, "Mae'n ddrwg gen i am eich profedigaeth." In the English tongue, I am so sorry for your loss.

May you find comfort with family and friends in the coming days and weeks.

 

[82bordeaux]

El-Jefe,
Sorry to hear the family emergency was as bad as we feared. It sounds like your family has a great support system. Make sure you take care of yourself too. You have many more NCAA tournaments to miss keeping your bride happy. We missed you this weekend, and hope you enjoy the replays of Saturday's action. Prayers going out to your sister, nephew, and entire family.

 

[golfer1922]

EJ, know that future prayers will include you and your family. Sorry for your loss. 🙏🙏

 

[SWPA]

I'm more like the Number Two poster, but anyway ...

Thanks to all for your concern and support. It's greatly appreciated.

Before I get into details: it's a tough time, but I'm doing OK enough to support my family.

On Tuesday I got the call that everyone dreads -- the one where the other person can't talk. My sister found her husband slumped over, dead of a heart attack. She called me right after calling 911, devastated.

They're still relatively young (retired in Jan 2020). There was no prior indication of health issues. At our family Zoom call that Saturday, even getting a hangnail would've been surprising. Losing him 3 days later was inconceivable.

So my wife and I hit the road ASAP and just returned a few hours ago. I'll be going back Thursday (conveniently enough, I have a shot appointment halfway there). There will be more trips.

My sister seems to be holding up about as well as can be expected. But she's in that eye of the storm where she's mostly numb. She's past the initial shock of finding him, but the next wave hasn't hit her yet. Every so often she says something that means she's hurting without saying those words. Dad is crushed. My nephew is trying hard to keep it together for his mom, but needs help too.

Complicating matters is that she wants to defer a service until the entire family can be together in person -- but we have no idea when my brother can leave SE Asia. Right now he could probably come in May -- but he can't go back until virus restrictions over there loosen up. (Plus his country of residence is imposing 3-week quarantines on airline crews from outside the region -- which means no US flights.)

Ironically, Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate it this year, and I'm sure it'll be bittersweet in future years. But that doesn't matter right now. Gotta get my sister past this stage, and then help her thru her anniversary, the holidays, their birthdays, etc. (Thankfully I'm married to a saint.)

There are some things to be grateful for: My wife and her family and completely supportive and understanding. My nephew lives with my sister; Dad lives next door. I work remotely, so I can work from Dad's house. We will have all had our shots by the end of this week. Dad is almost 92 and can mostly take care of himself (other than not driving). My brother-in-law was well known and popular, so there has been an outpouring of support. And thankfully they sold their business early last year.

So while this is a very difficult time, it could be much worse than it is. Little things do help.

I'm sorry for your loss. I find myself in a similar situation. My uncle recently passed away unexpectedly from what we were told was a heart attack but an autopsy was never done. He was 46, which is only a few years older than me. Leaving behind a wife and two young girls hits home more and more each day for me. He was like a big brother to me when we were younger. I'm hopeful you and your family can find the strength to get you through this time. My thoughts and prayers go out to all who knew the deceased. While I don't know you personally, I would like to help out if you need anything. God bless my friend.

 

[Fatmarc]

I'm more like the Number Two poster, but anyway ...

Thanks to all for your concern and support. It's greatly appreciated.

Before I get into details: it's a tough time, but I'm doing OK enough to support my family.

On Tuesday I got the call that everyone dreads -- the one where the other person can't talk. My sister found her husband slumped over, dead of a heart attack. She called me right after calling 911, devastated.

They're still relatively young (retired in Jan 2020). There was no prior indication of health issues. At our family Zoom call that Saturday, even getting a hangnail would've been surprising. Losing him 3 days later was inconceivable.

So my wife and I hit the road ASAP and just returned a few hours ago. I'll be going back Thursday (conveniently enough, I have a shot appointment halfway there). There will be more trips.

My sister seems to be holding up about as well as can be expected. But she's in that eye of the storm where she's mostly numb. She's past the initial shock of finding him, but the next wave hasn't hit her yet. Every so often she says something that means she's hurting without saying those words. Dad is crushed. My nephew is trying hard to keep it together for his mom, but needs help too.

Complicating matters is that she wants to defer a service until the entire family can be together in person -- but we have no idea when my brother can leave SE Asia. Right now he could probably come in May -- but he can't go back until virus restrictions over there loosen up. (Plus his country of residence is imposing 3-week quarantines on airline crews from outside the region -- which means no US flights.)

Ironically, Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate it this year, and I'm sure it'll be bittersweet in future years. But that doesn't matter right now. Gotta get my sister past this stage, and then help her thru her anniversary, the holidays, their birthdays, etc. (Thankfully I'm married to a saint.)

There are some things to be grateful for: My wife and her family and completely supportive and understanding. My nephew lives with my sister; Dad lives next door. I work remotely, so I can work from Dad's house. We will have all had our shots by the end of this week. Dad is almost 92 and can mostly take care of himself (other than not driving). My brother-in-law was well known and popular, so there has been an outpouring of support. And thankfully they sold their business early last year.

So while this is a very difficult time, it could be much worse than it is. Little things do help.

GOD SPEED.

 

[Used2BEerie]

Thoughts and prayers Jefe. Hope you and your family can get through this difficult time.

 

[NoVaLion2]

So sorry for your loss, and especially your sister. She's lucky to have a brother to help lighten the load. We missed you around here.

 

[doublehaul]

El--Jefe, prayers for you and your family in a tough time. God bless.

 

[ptomaselli]

El Jefe, so sorry for your family's loss. Its a good thing they have you... God bless...

 

[RoarLions1]

May your sister and all of her family find peace through the comfort and care of friends and each other.