New Kevlar Headgear designed to protect Bruised Egos

[bwfight]

For Immediate Release

University of Iowa researchers have announced a breakthrough in headgear technology that is designed to protect the most vulnerable and fragile part of the body . . . the ego.

World renowned scientists Dr. Ima Dingleberry and her twin Eura, previously achieved notoriety for their work in pioneering "Speech Fart" which utilizes an oscillating fart-powered speech synthesizer that is inserted in the sphincter as a replacement for the larynx.

Using this technology themselves since they were both born without a larynx, Drs. Dingleberry announced "this new headgear technology, which we call 'Headcase' (patent pending) was developed in conjunction with the University of Iowa renowned wrestling team, and will help protect their athletes, and those around the world from the debilitating effects of bruised ego syndrome." They went on to cite a recent example where a wrestler had to medically forfeit a match that they believe could have been prevented with the use of their revolutionary head gear.

During and immediately following their announcement, the press room cleared, an unfortunate byproduct of their unique speech methodology.

 

[WildTurk]

That's a lot of effort put in to a sphincter/butthole joke at 3am. Drinking Wild Turkey 101?

 

[ZepGraffiti]

That's a lot of effort put in to a sphincter/butthole joke at 3am. Drinking Wild Turkey 101?

Think it's actually Baiting Wild Turk 101.
Hook, line, sinker.

 

[jrod65]

For Immediate Release

University of Iowa researchers have announced a breakthrough in headgear technology that is designed to protect the most vulnerable and fragile part of the body . . . the ego.

World renowned scientists Dr. Ima Dingleberry and her twin Eura, previously achieved notoriety for their work in pioneering "Speech Fart" which utilizes an oscillating fart-powered speech synthesizer that is inserted in the sphincter as a replacement for the larynx.

Using this technology themselves since they were both born without a larynx, Drs. Dingleberry announced "this new headgear technology, which we call 'Headcase' (patent pending) was developed in conjunction with the University of Iowa renowned wrestling team, and will help protect their athletes, and those around the world from the debilitating effects of bruised ego syndrome." They went on to cite a recent example where a wrestler had to medically forfeit a match that they believe could have been prevented with the use of their revolutionary head gear.

During and immediately following their announcement, the press room cleared, an unfortunate byproduct of their unique speech methodology.

You may want to leave the satire game to @slushhead. This one feels like you are trying way too hard.

 

[Dogwelder]

That's a lot of effort put in to a sphincter/butthole joke at 3am. Drinking Wild Turkey 101?

Here’s another one for your expert review:

Superman was flying and thought:
“I see Wonder Woman nude sunbathing on a penthouse rooftop. I’m going to get me some of that. With my Super Speed, she won’t even know what hit her.”
***
Wonder Woman felt a sudden disturbance and opened her eyes.
“What was that?” She asked.
“I don’t know, but it sure tore up my butt,” said the Invisible Man.

 

[bwfight]

You may want to leave the satire game to @slushhead. This one feels like you are trying way too hard.

Fortunately I was wearing the headgear while reading your critique, therefore my fragile ego remains intact. It really works

 

[bwfight]

That's a lot of effort put in to a sphincter/butthole joke at 3am. Drinking Wild Turkey 101?

According to JRod65, apparently it wasn’t enough effort.

 

[jrod65]

Fortunately I was wearing the headgear while reading your critique, therefore my fragile ego remains intact. It really works

Well done. I'll give you ^^this one^^.

 

[Dogwelder]

Fortunately I was wearing the headgear while reading your critique, therefore my fragile ego remains intact. It really works

Are you typing with fingers, or with unique “air typing” technique?

 

[diggerpup]

“I don’t know, but it sure tore up my butt,” said the Invisible Man.

Once he got cradled a 2nd time at CHA, sounded like DeSanto wished he also had invisible powers.

 

[bwfight]

Are you typing with fingers, or with unique “air typing” technique?

Yes

 

[pawrestlersintn]

Fortunately I was wearing the headgear while reading your critique, therefore my fragile ego remains intact. It really works

Was the OP actually a set up for this?

 

[bwfight]

Was the OP actually a set up for this?

That sounds like a chicken or egg first question.

 

[82bordeaux]

Fortunately I was wearing the headgear while reading your critique, therefore my fragile ego remains intact. It really works

The sequel was definitely better than the original.