OT: Board advice needed for "the talk" with my 6 year old daughter.

[91Joe95]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

 

[Hugh Manatee]

Forget the remark and enjoy the reward. She will learn about percentages in 4th grade.

 

[sluggo72]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

see I believe in the 110% effort thing, and relate it to super saturation. Like when you make rock candy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supersaturation

 

[TCFA-Nit]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

I've got four kids all playing travel soccer. My oldest is now playing U14, my youngest is starting U8 this year. We've been in this for years now and I've learned a lot of things along the way, both as a parent and a coach. Perspective is a wonderful thing.

My advice: she's 6 years old, and "fun" really has to be the No. 1 priority. If the coach makes it fun for the kids, let her coach the way she's coaching, and stay out of the way. The more fun it is, the more likely it is that the kids will want to keep playing, the more likely it is that they will kick the ball around in the back yard by themselves, the more likely it is that they will get better.

 

[irncty]

Mathematically, 110% IS possible. If a stock goes from $50/share to $105/share, then it increased by 110%. So don't tell her that 110% is mathematically impossible.

As for common core, I'm torn. I think the smarter kids use common core strategies naturally once they take a liking to math and problem solving. I'm not sure it should be taught though because it confuses people who don't think the same way. The standardized approach is tried and true. You can't go wrong using the standard. Common core however...there are many ways to skin the cat.

 

[Woodpecker]

Whew! I thought you meant "the talk"

 

[Lyons212]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

Leave it alone. If your daughter is having fun, learning, improving and works hard to get better, then she is in an excellent situation. Don't do anything that could screw it up.

Believe me, there are a lot of bad things in youth sports...the coach saying somebody gives 110% effort is not one of them.

 

[dbsteel]

Really? This expression has been thrown around longer than any of us have been alive......

 

[Mister Magoo]

Whew! I thought you meant "the talk"

Tell her mommy and daddy call Geico. That makes them very happy

 

[ericstratton-rushchairman]

 

[gogolion]

You can explain the math part of it without ruining the message of the award. Explain why the math is incorrect, but also explain that the award really means the coach thought she gave more effort than anyone thought she was capable of (or whatever you think the award means).

 

[palehorse]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

This is so easy. Explain to her that her 100% effort should be equal to what the 100% effort of others is, plus 10%. 2 birds with one stone. You not only get to explain away the pet peeve committed by her coach, but you also get to reinforce that she should work harder than everyone else. Problem solved, now let's have a Monday mid-day beer to celebrate.

 

[lionville]

Does she know what the concept of a percent is? If not, let it go.

 

[KnightSlayer]

Just tell her Giving 110% Effort is a figure of speech that recognizes how super hard she works and is something she should be very proud of. Even though it uses numbers, it doesn't apply to the subject of mathematics. If she asks why, explain it or just let her know you'll explain the math part when she gets to that subject in school.

 

[ThePennsyOracle]

Don't be "that dad".

File the remark away in your mind and let the whole thing play out.

 

[michnittlion]

Don't be "that dad".

File the remark away in your mind and let the whole thing play out.

Agreed.

She's 6. Enjoy this time of her life. This discussion isn't for a 6-year-old.

 

[OldTiredLion]

An adrenaline boost can conceivably account for one's performance to be increased by 10%.

Explain to your little girl that she has a kick-ass adrenal system.

 

[ILLINOISLION]

Do what people do in today's world.....take the coach to court, sue for damages.

 

[Grant Green]

While I used to think the same way, I've changed my view.
First, it is possible to have more than 100% of something. Ex. If the average flow of a river is 5,000 cfs and it is flowing at 5,500, then it is at 110% of average.
The problem is that when you say "give it 110%", you don't tell what that % applies to. The assumption is that 100% is the most you can possible give. What if 100% is actually your average peak work rate? It is then possible to go a little higher than your average peak work rate - or 110%.

 

[PSU95alum]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

I'm not very concerned with the "110%" comment. Of greater concern to me is that you are letting your daughter play soccer.

 

[PSUArnie]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

Good lord! She's 6 for gods sake.....maybe when she gets a little older it would be more important to teach her these important life lessons?! SMH.

 

[AWS1022]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

I agree with the other posters, just let her have fun. Just tell her that's just what they call the award and that you're very proud of her. What she does or doesn't do in youth sports will have no bearing on her future life (sports or otherwise). My daughter played sports for fun and my son played for real, so I've seen both sides. They both have ended up pretty much the same place in real life.

 

[katchthis]

My daughter just graduated HS in 3 years with a 104.5% average. I'm going to have to have the talk about 110%. Wish me well.

 

[ga.lion]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

Celebrate the achievement and don't worry about the math.

 

[ILLINOISLION]

My daughter just graduated HS in 3 years with a 104.5% average. I'm going to have to have the talk about 110%. Wish me well.

DAMN - Your wife must be really really smart!

 

[Peetz Pool Boy]

Let it go.

If you correct her on the "110% effort" thing now, you're probably pissing on her chances of ever becoming an ESPN announcer/sportscaster. They all seem to love the phrase.

 

[katchthis]

DAMN - Your wife must be really really smart!

That is my standard answer. Cha-ching booty call.

 

[Peetz Pool Boy]

My daughter just graduated HS in 3 years with a 104.5% average. I'm going to have to have the talk about 110%. Wish me well.

Like....."why didn't you do better or try harder"?

Congrats on your daughter's significant accomplishment. Very impressive.

 

[The Spin Meister]

"If you go to Pitt, you are out of the will. Or Michigan. Or Ohio State. Oh yeah, and Rutgers"

 

[NitneLiun]

I don't think "The Talk" means what you think it means.

 

[boddyebsen]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

 

[heckmans]

My daughter takes soccer lessons and a few days ago won the "110% effort" award (not to confused with the hustle or other awards). She was, of course, very happy. That in turn makes me happy because she is having fun. Her coach is a teacher who teaches elementary kids as her day job. She is very enthusiastic and makes it a lot of fun for the kids. However, this notion of 110% effort when it is theoretically impossible grates on me. I have so far held off on telling my daughter that 110% is impossible and that her coach is wrong, but I'm not sure if I should tell her now or wait until she's older. I don't mind a few white lies for her benefit (I'm looking at you Mr. Santa and all your fill-in mall elves pretending to be the real Santa), but when it comes to math I tend to be pretty rigid. If she seems like she's guessing at an answer I remind her there is no guessing in math and to solve the problem properly (btw, don't get me started on the common core crap they use to teach math. I'm all for standardized approaches, but do they have to tailor it towards the lowest performers?!? But I digress.). So, how should I handle this egregious violation of math principles? Should I or should I not explain this to my daughter? If so, how do I do it in a tactful way? TIA.

I have to ask. What is the difference between the 110% award and the Hustle award? Hopefully not every kid on the team got an award, then it is meaningless.

oh, and let the 110% thing go. The fact that you started this post means you are raising her properly(at least in this regard) and reinforcing basic things like the notion of winning and losing, hard work, and academics.

 

[Sharkies]

Definitely possible, see attached image. haha

 

[91Joe95]

Thanks for all the replies! For those who say giving a 110% effort is possible are wrong as the max has been otherwise erroneously defined. Except the Spinal Tap reference. That's legit. Did all kids get an award? Of course, they're 6 year old kids in today's society. What are you people, heartless monsters? Will I talk to my daughter about this? At some point, yes, but not for a while. I'll have to be subtle. Hmm, maybe point out a sportscaster who improperly uses the reference and how it is wrong?

 

[heckmans]

Thanks for all the replies! For those who say giving a 110% effort is possible are wrong as the max has been otherwise erroneously defined. Except the Spinal Tap reference. That's legit. Did all kids get an award? Of course, they're 6 year old kids in today's society. What are you people, heartless monsters? Will I talk to my daughter about this? At some point, yes, but not for a while. I'll have to be subtle. Hmm, maybe point out a sportscaster who improperly uses the reference and how it is wrong?

So who was the harder worker? The 110% award or the Hustle award? Does that means the hustle award gave more or less than 110%? Something smells fishy in this 6yo soccer cabal.

It really chaps my a** that every kids gets an award for showing up. Kids don't play sports for awards. They play for the sake of playing. Awards are given for special circumstances such as..ahem..winning or perhaps 1 individual who has shown (the most) sportsmanship or effort to show that its not ALL about winning.
I have an infant daughter. Sports, if she chooses to play them, will be about fun, but she will also know who won the game, that's its okay to lose as long as you tried your hardest, and that if she wants to win, she might need to give 110% effort

 

[TiredOldLion]

So a six year old needs a 'negative Nancy talk'? I'm for buying the kid an ice cream cone and moving on to the next fun thing to do.

IMO children should be in unorganized free style play activities and stay away from 'Organized by Adults Activities'.

 

[LionJim]

Mathematically, 110% IS possible. If a stock goes from $50/share to $105/share, then it increased by 110%. So don't tell her that 110% is mathematically impossible.

If a quality is being measured as a percentage of a maximum value, then 110% is mathematically impossible. The OP is in this context. Your example is one of a percentage increase from a previous measure, in which, you are correct, 110% is possible. But, apples and oranges.

But, to answer the OP's question, let it go.

 

[irncty]

If a quality is being measured as a percentage of a maximum value, then 110% is mathematically impossible. The OP is in this context. Your example is one of a percentage increase from a previous measure, in which, you are correct, 110% is possible. But, apples and oranges.

But, to answer the OP's question, let it go.

The coach doesn't know the max value nor how to measure it mathematically...so math should not be discussed with the 6 year old

 

[AWS1022]

So a six year old needs a 'negative Nancy talk'? I'm for buying the kid an ice cream cone and moving on to the next fun thing to do.

IMO children should be in unorganized free style play activities and stay away from 'Organized by Adults Activities'.

My son used to get mad in tee ball because he would get kids out and they would let the kids stay on base. My son was used to practicing with the older team I coached and he knew the rules and they were breaking the rules. It was tough to explain to him.