OT: Lighten up Francis - Quantum Mechanics joke for the science nerds

[TenerHallTerror]

just for a little levity:

Heisenberg & Schroedinger get pulled over for speeding.

The cop says “do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg says “no but I know where I am.”

Cop says “did you know there’s a dead cat in your trunk?”

Schroedinger says, “I do now, a$$hole.”

 

[Frabjous]

A Stewardess asks a Photon if he has any checked baggage. ‘No’, he says,
‘I’m traveling light.’

 

[TenerHallTerror]

still one of my favorite Futurama jokes:

 

[LurkerLazarus]

Uranium-238 walks into a bar, then turns around to leave, and says,
"on second thought, I have to split".

Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic Church. The priest says, what are YOU doing here? The Higgs Boson says, "well, you can't have Mass without me".

 

[KnightSlayer]

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

 

[ericstratton-rushchairman]

A chemist a biologist and a physicist are standing around a flag pole. A mechanical engineer walks by and asks, "what you doing?".

Biologist says, "we're trying to measure the height of this flag pole."

The ME unscrews the flag pole, measures it, and says, "50 feet"

Chemist says, "just like an engineer... we want the height and he gives us the length".

 

[not so fast my friend]

A chemist a biologist and a physicist are standing around a flag pole. A mechanical engineer walks by and asks, "what you doing?".

Biologist says, "we're trying to measure the height of this flag pole."

The ME unscrews the flag pole, measures it, and says, "50 feet"

Chemist says, "just like an engineer... we want the height and he gives us the length".

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a double. The bartender says "for you, no charge". The neutron sees a cute proton to his right. He asks "can i buy you a drink", and the proton says "I'm not attracted to you."

He turns to his left and sees a cute electron. He asks the bartender, "do you think she'll dance with me?". The bartender says "that's a negative."