OT on a slow day: what is your best 'car' story?

[Frabjous]

A Penn State friend had a real junker (Chevy Nova) but hey, it was a car. The floorboards on the shotgun side were so rusted out, you could see the pavement whiz by--we called it the Fred Flintstonemobile. His solution? He put chicken wire on what was left of the floor and poured cement on the chicken wire. He had a goddam cement floor in his car! A Chevy Nova had the acceleration of a sundial to begin with, so the cement floor made his Nova as fast as molasses in January.
He would crawl up the hill by Port Matilda with a line of cars behind him that stretched to Altoona, laughing his arse off.
We had no money back in the day, but good times nonetheless.

 

[Fac]

High school friend's father had a Subaru 360 Year? maybe 1970. Smaller than a beetle. We would pile 9 of us in the car and drive down to McDonalds. it was cool watching the faces of the adults as more and more of us kept getting out of that small vehicle. At the local plaza my friend used to drive up on the walk way. Mostly on Sundays when the stores were closed.

 

[bwifan]

Had a VW rabbit in high school and my friends on the football team would pick the car up and move it around the huge school parking lot so I had no idea where it was when I walked outside .... 2nd best my uncle owned a VW dealership and VW used to have commercials talking about how the VW bug could float on water ... so my cousin took a brand new vw bug off the lot and drove it onto a friends pond to see if it was true ... well it floated for a bit before sinking ... needless to say my uncle was more than pissed when he found out

 

[fairgambit]

Sort of a car story.
It was 2000, on the campus of Harvard University. I was there to consider a faculty position I was offered, and ultimately turned down. I was driving the Maserati (the Bentley was in the shop for repairs and my driver was on vacation). It was pouring rain. As I neared Austin Hall, I noticed a lovely lady (late 30's) crossing the street in front of me. She was struggling with her umbrella, her purse, and a set of books, and as she crossed, she stumbled and fell. I immediately got out of the car and helped her to her feet. Her face was unmistakable. It was Elisabeth Shue, who had returned to campus to complete her degree in Political Science and was on her way to the library. She was now soaking wet, and I offered her a ride. She accepted, and as we drove off, we began a conversation which lasted 5 hours. There was nothing physical. She was happily married, as was I, but we connected on an intellectual level. I finally did drop her off at the library, and we promised to keep in touch. The next thing I remembered was waking up in my hammock as the neighbor next door started his lawnmower.

 

[bwifan]

Sort of a car story.
It was 2000, on the campus of Harvard University. I was there to consider a faculty position I was offered, and ultimately turned down. I was driving the Maserati (the Bentley was in the shop for repairs and my driver was on vacation). It was pouring rain. As I neared Austin Hall, I noticed a lovely lady (late 30's) crossing the street in front of me. She was struggling with her umbrella, her purse, and a set of books, and as she crossed, she stumbled and fell. I immediately got out of the car and helped her to her feet. Her face was unmistakable. It was Elisabeth Shue, who had returned to campus to complete her degree in Political Science and was on her way to the library. She was now soaking wet, and I offered her a ride. She accepted, and as we drove off, we began a conversation which lasted 5 hours. There was nothing physical. She was happily married, as was I, but we connected on an intellectual level. I finally did drop her off at the library, and we promised to keep in touch. The next thing I remembered was awaking in my hammock as the neighbor next door started his lawnmower.

You win!!

 

[Ranger Dan]

Sort of a car story.
It was 2000, on the campus of Harvard University. I was there to consider a faculty position I was offered, and ultimately turned down. I was driving the Maserati (the Bentley was in the shop for repairs and my driver was on vacation). It was pouring rain. As I neared Austin Hall, I noticed a lovely lady (late 30's) crossing the street in front of me. She was struggling with her umbrella, her purse, and a set of books, and as she crossed, she stumbled and fell. I immediately got out of the car and helped her to her feet. Her face was unmistakable. It was Elisabeth Shue, who had returned to campus to complete her degree in Political Science and was on her way to the library. She was now soaking wet, and I offered her a ride. She accepted, and as we drove off, we began a conversation which lasted 5 hours. There was nothing physical. She was happily married, as was I, but we connected on an intellectual level. I finally did drop her off at the library, and we promised to keep in touch. The next thing I remembered was awaking in my hammock as the neighbor next door started his lawnmower.

That sounds like one of those stories that start out: "I never thought it would happen to me"...

 

[dwiz]

Used to do rally car on the ground level of beaver stadium before they put all the fences up around the gates. It was really spotty because we couldn't have our lights on or else people wouldn notice, so we did it at dusk. Really surprised we didn't get caught or hit one of the supports.

 

[fairgambit]

You win!!

 

[Frabjous]

Sort of a car story.
It was 2000, on the campus of Harvard University. I was there to consider a faculty position I was offered, and ultimately turned down. I was driving the Maserati (the Bentley was in the shop for repairs and my driver was on vacation). It was pouring rain. As I neared Austin Hall, I noticed a lovely lady (late 30's) crossing the street in front of me. She was struggling with her umbrella, her purse, and a set of books, and as she crossed, she stumbled and fell. I immediately got out of the car and helped her to her feet. Her face was unmistakable. It was Elisabeth Shue, who had returned to campus to complete her degree in Political Science and was on her way to the library. She was now soaking wet, and I offered her a ride. She accepted, and as we drove off, we began a conversation which lasted 5 hours. There was nothing physical. She was happily married, as was I, but we connected on an intellectual level. I finally did drop her off at the library, and we promised to keep in touch. The next thing I remembered was awaking in my hammock as the neighbor next door started his lawnmower.

^^^^
I happen to know that this story is baloney. Mr. Gambit was driving the Bentley that day.

 

[ericstratton-rushchairman]

In 2002, towards the end of my drinking days, I was married to overbearing wife #1. This particular night the folks I worked with at Oracle were all headed to a Texas Rangers game and I called my wife and told her "it was a work event... have to go... promise I won't drink".

Then around 10 pm that night, after being criminally over-served at the ballpark, I called wife to inform her I had been in a minor car accident, bent in my front fender, and needed to wait for a tow truck to come and pull out the fender so I could drive. I then proceeded to join the fellas on a trip to The Men's Club... which lasted until 2am.

At about 230am on my way home I called to inform my wife I was finally on my way home. Then it dawned on me... my car was fine. I had 2 choices. Either I man up and tell her the truth about the car, or stay committed to the moment. I choice poorly.

I pulled off the highway and found a 7-11, drove around back and tried to lightly smash my car into a dumpster. After inspecting the damage and deciding it was not enough, "She won't buy this...". I got back into my car and gave it a more spirited attempt. Second attempt was far more successful. However having failed to refasten my seat belt my face planted into the steering wheel. I looked into rear view mirror and saw blood from a nice gash in my forehead... "She'll definitely buy this" I thought.

I limped car home and pitched the story as best I could. The kick in the shorts came the next day when I realize I had the dropped comp and collision on my 3 year old Lexus GS 300 about 6 months earlier (due to my first DWI). The repairs cost me over $4,000.

This is one of the many reasons why I don't drink anymore.

 

[AWS1022]

In 2002, towards the end of my drinking days, I was married to overbearing wife #1. This particular night the folks I worked with at Oracle were all headed to a Texas Rangers game and I called my wife and told her "it was a work event... have to go... promise I won't drink".

Then around 10 pm that night, after being criminally over-served at the ballpark, I called wife to inform her I had been in a minor car accident, bent in my front fender, and needed to wait for a tow truck to come and pull out the fender so I could drive. I then proceeded to join the fellas on a trip to The Men's Club... which lasted until 2am.

At about 230am on my way home I called to inform my wife I was finally on my way home. Then it dawned on me... my car was fine. I had 2 choices. Either I man up and tell her the truth about the car, or stay committed to the moment. I choice poorly.

I pulled off the highway and found a 7-11, drove around back and tried to lightly smash my car into a dumpster. After inspecting the damage and deciding it was not enough, "She won't buy this...". I got back into my car and gave it a more spirited attempt. Second attempt was far more successful. However having failed to refasten my seat belt my face planted into the steering wheel. I looked into rear view mirror and saw blood from a nice gash in my forehead... "She'll definitely buy this" I thought.

I limped car home and pitched the story as best I could. The kick in the shorts came the next day when I realize I had the dropped comp and collision on my 3 year old Lexus GS 300 about 6 months earlier (due to my first DWI). The repairs cost me over $4,000.

This is one of the many reasons why I don't drink anymore.

Also one of the reasons you're not married to wife #1 anymore either.

 

[AWS1022]

My brother had a Pinto. The passenger door wouldn't latch so he tied it closed with baling twine. You had to crawl through the window to get in and out of it. At one point, the passenger headlight pointed up so it shined into the trees as we drove. Then finally, the back of the passenger seat broke so you had to sit with no seat back...and that's harder to do than you would think.

 

[BobPSU92]

Is this like the tractor story?

 

[ILLINOISLION]

In 2002, towards the end of my drinking days, I was married to overbearing wife #1. This particular night the folks I worked with at Oracle were all headed to a Texas Rangers game and I called my wife and told her "it was a work event... have to go... promise I won't drink".

Then around 10 pm that night, after being criminally over-served at the ballpark, I called wife to inform her I had been in a minor car accident, bent in my front fender, and needed to wait for a tow truck to come and pull out the fender so I could drive. I then proceeded to join the fellas on a trip to The Men's Club... which lasted until 2am.

At about 230am on my way home I called to inform my wife I was finally on my way home. Then it dawned on me... my car was fine. I had 2 choices. Either I man up and tell her the truth about the car, or stay committed to the moment. I choice poorly.

I pulled off the highway and found a 7-11, drove around back and tried to lightly smash my car into a dumpster. After inspecting the damage and deciding it was not enough, "She won't buy this...". I got back into my car and gave it a more spirited attempt. Second attempt was far more successful. However having failed to refasten my seat belt my face planted into the steering wheel. I looked into rear view mirror and saw blood from a nice gash in my forehead... "She'll definitely buy this" I thought.

I limped car home and pitched the story as best I could. The kick in the shorts came the next day when I realize I had the dropped comp and collision on my 3 year old Lexus GS 300 about 6 months earlier (due to my first DWI). The repairs cost me over $4,000.

This is one of the many reasons why I don't drink anymore.

Of course you could have continued drinking and just stopped the driving.

 

[artsandletters]

Has anyone used the string tied to the driver's windshield wiper fix?

 

[Victor E. Bell]

Has anyone used the string tied to the driver's windshield wiper fix?

No, but along those lines I had a buddy who had a Mopar, I forget exactly what it was, maybe a Plymouth and it was an oldie. He was a big Yankee fan. This was in the late 80's or early 90's. He wanted to drive over to the City for a NYY game. Well to start the engine you had to pop the hood and beat on the starter with about a 2-inch piece of a tree he cut down that was maybe two feet long he carried along with him. You'd turn the ignition and it wouldn't crank unless you beat on the starter. Then it would start fine. So of course we thought it would be a great idea to run this piece of shit over to the Bronx about 400 miles round trip to see the NYY game. This was a grown man too, in his late 30's or 40's at the time who had this car.

We got up there and parked in some private lot near the stadium and some kid came up to us and wanted ten bucks to "watch your car" which we declined, given the condition that wreck was already in and we came out when the game was over and all the hubcaps were gone. I don't know if the kid made out better with the hubcaps but he got them instead of the sawbuck. Then to the amazement of all our friends in the parking lot, we popped the bonnet and beat on the starter and went on our way back to the wilds of the coal region.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

That sounds like one of those stories that start out: "I never thought it would happen to me"...

Dear Penthouse Forum....

 

[Locolion]

A Penn State friend had a real junker (Chevy Nova) but hey, it was a car. The floorboards on the shotgun side were so rusted out, you could see the pavement whiz by--we called it the Fred Flintstonemobile. His solution? He put chicken wire on what was left of the floor and poured cement on the chicken wire. He had a goddam cement floor in his car! A Chevy Nova had the acceleration of a sundial to begin with, so the cement floor made his Nova as fast as molasses in January.
He would crawl up the hill by Port Matilda with a line of cars behind him that stretched to Altoona, laughing his arse off.
We had no money back in the day, but good times nonetheless.

Best Car Story: Ericka Meyer (unforgettable) in the back seat of whatever crappy car I was driving (forgettable)

 

[demlion]

A Penn State friend had a real junker (Chevy Nova) but hey, it was a car. The floorboards on the shotgun side were so rusted out, you could see the pavement whiz by--we called it the Fred Flintstonemobile. His solution? He put chicken wire on what was left of the floor and poured cement on the chicken wire. He had a goddam cement floor in his car! A Chevy Nova had the acceleration of a sundial to begin with, so the cement floor made his Nova as fast as molasses in January.
He would crawl up the hill by Port Matilda with a line of cars behind him that stretched to Altoona, laughing his arse off.
We had no money back in the day, but good times nonetheless.

I once watched my 98 Tacoma, attached to my 16 foot Lund bass boat, take an unscheduled trip down over a hill through the woods. It's too long to tell.

 

[paulrandythomas]

First car, 93 Mustang, not a good one, the 4-cyl variety. It served its purpose, but I went to trade it in on a truck after college. I had things lined up on the trade, just had to go from State College to Philipsburg, what, like 20 miles? SOB died on the way up the mountain. Dealer was going to give me 2k on the trade, said "I'll have to take a closer look" when I rolled in on a tow truck. Guy said I'll give you 500 bucks and pay for the tow, I said deal, you just bought a mustang.

 

[demlion]

Has anyone used the string tied to the driver's windshield wiper fix?

I had a 1980 Le Car. The wiper motor quit and i had no string, so I just reached around with my left hand and pulled the wipers back and forth. My arm got very wet during this 70 mile drive.

 

[paulrandythomas]

I had a 1980 Le Car. The wiper motor quit and i had no string, so I just reached around with my left hand and pulled the wipers back and forth. My arm got very wet during this 70 mile drive.

HA!!, I left out the part when the wipers died on the way back from Scranton on I-80 in a snowstorm. I drove Ace Ventura style with me head out the window in a blizzard.

 

[MtNittany]

Rode in a VW full of Schaefer, pomped as a football, w/ Eat Me spray painted on it in the HC parade. I peaked early.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

I had a beater of a late 80's early 90's Saab 900 turbo - wouldn't go in reverse and the driver side window wouldn't go up or down. Made for some interesting driving decisions.

 

[fairgambit]

A Penn State friend had a real junker (Chevy Nova) but hey, it was a car. The floorboards on the shotgun side were so rusted out, you could see the pavement whiz by--we called it the Fred Flintstonemobile. His solution? He put chicken wire on what was left of the floor and poured cement on the chicken wire. He had a goddam cement floor in his car! A Chevy Nova had the acceleration of a sundial to begin with, so the cement floor made his Nova as fast as molasses in January.
He would crawl up the hill by Port Matilda with a line of cars behind him that stretched to Altoona, laughing his arse off.
We had no money back in the day, but good times nonetheless.

Good thread Frabjous.

 

[CF LION]

I had a very non-descript silver mid 70's Buick Century my senior year at PSU. One day I drove one of my housemates and my wife (then GF) out to a supermarket on North Atherton to do some grocery shopping. They finished shopping before me so I gave them my keys so they could put their bags in the trunk of my car.

(While we were in the store, another non-descript silver Buick Century parked next to mine).

My housemate (who looked a little like Charlie Manson) and my wife put their bags in the trunk of my car and for some reason got into the similar looking car next to mine, which was not locked. My wife suddenly realized they were sitting in the wrong car, and in their panic somehow thought that they put their groceries into the wrong car also. The other cars owner (a middle aged woman) returned to her car to see these two frantically trying to open her trunk with my keys.

I leave the store, walk towards my car to see the commotion taking place. My housemate is pleading with the woman not to leave because their groceries are in her car. The poor woman looked terrified and I'm sure she thought she was dealing with a couple of wasted college kids. As I approach and ask what's going on, my roommate starts frantically yelling that this woman was stealing his groceries. At this point my wife must have figured it out and starts laughing hysterically. I ask for my keys, open the trunk of my car to find their groceries.

We said our apologies and we all left. No harm, no foul. If this happened today in the cell phone era the woman (rightfully) probably would have called 911 as she approached her car and the authorities would have had to sort it out.

 

[I.J.W.T.]

One of my favorite car stories is the song "Red Barchetta" by Rush.

My uncle has a country place
That no one knows about
He says it used to be a farm
Before the Motor Law
And now on Sundays I elude the eyes
And hop the turbine freight
To far outside the wire where my
White-haired uncle waits

Jump to the ground as the turbo slows
To cross the borderline
Run like the wind as excitement shivers
Up and down my spine
But down in his barn
My uncle preserved for me
An old machine
For fifty-odd years
To keep it as new
Has been his dearest dream

I strip away the old debris
That hides a shining car
A brilliant Red Barchetta
From a better vanished time
We'll fire up the willing engine
Responding with a roar
Tires spitting gravel
I commit my weekly crime

Wind
In my hair
Shifting and drifting
Mechanical music
Adrenaline surge

Well-oiled leather
Hot metal and oil
The scented country air

Sunlight on chrome
The blur of the landscape
Every nerve aware

Suddenly ahead of me
Across the mountainside
A gleaming alloy air-car
Shoots towards me two lanes wide
Oh, I spin around with shrieking tires
To run the deadly race
Go screaming through the valley
As another joins the chase

Ride like the wind
Straining the limits
Of machine and man
Laughing out loud with fear and hope
I've got a desperate plan

At the one-lane bridge
I leave the giants stranded
At the riverside
Race back to the farm
To dream with my uncle
At the fireside

 

[Nittany.Lion]

I had a 1980 Le Car. The wiper motor quit and i had no string, so I just reached around with my left hand and pulled the wipers back and forth. My arm got very wet during this 70 mile drive.

I can't believe that I once thought of buying a Renault Fuego..... but a Le Car?

 

[phillybillyreprise]

My '59 VW beetle was light green in the front and light blue in the back. I was in fender-bender and replaced the fender with a primer gray one. I had the no wiper experience during a snow fall while driving west on 30 around Coatesville. There was a Sunoco station where the super highway ends. It was late on a Friday night but it was open and had VW fuses.
I also had the VW windshield defogger - a red work hanky in the glove compartment.
The battery rusted through the floor under the backseat. I went to the machine shop where my Mom was the secretary. They gave me a piece of metal to cover the hole. Everything was working okay until I was on a date in NJ, and was caught in a thunder storm while in a low spot. Traffic was stopped and as the water rose outside the car, my side was dry and my date's side had 2 inches of water.
That was 45 years ago and we have been married 43 years. And by the way, the guy she had just broken-up with drove a new Corvette.

 

[artsandletters]

I had a 1980 Le Car. The wiper motor quit and i had no string, so I just reached around with my left hand and pulled the wipers back and forth. My arm got very wet during this 70 mile drive.

I had an occasional relationship with a woman who had a LeCar back in the late 70s, early 80s. She drove like a maniac all through Philly. She lived in the Fairmount/Art Museum area and she always found an otherwise impossible parking spot with that little car. LeCars could motor, btw.

 

[artsandletters]

No, but along those lines I had a buddy who had a Mopar, I forget exactly what it was, maybe a Plymouth and it was an oldie. He was a big Yankee fan. This was in the late 80's or early 90's. He wanted to drive over to the City for a NYY game. Well to start the engine you had to pop the hood and beat on the starter with about a 2-inch piece of a tree he cut down that was maybe two feet long he carried along with him. You'd turn the ignition and it wouldn't crank unless you beat on the starter. Then it would start fine. So of course we thought it would be a great idea to run this piece of shit over to the Bronx about 400 miles round trip to see the NYY game. This was a grown man too, in his late 30's or 40's at the time who had this car.

We got up there and parked in some private lot near the stadium and some kid came up to us and wanted ten bucks to "watch your car" which we declined, given the condition that wreck was already in and we came out when the game was over and all the hubcaps were gone. I don't know if the kid made out better with the hubcaps but he got them instead of the sawbuck. Then to the amazement of all our friends in the parking lot, we popped the bonnet and beat on the starter and went on our way back to the wilds of the coal region.

That's a Kramer/Newman story.

Here's a similar golf cart story. I was living in the Amherst/Northampton area in the mid-80s. My buddy and I used to play this crappy golf course (Pine Grove/Slime Grove) with equally crappy golf carts. We were going up a hill and the cart died. My buddy lifted up the hood and proceeded to pound the battery with an iron. It wasn't working. I asked him what iron he was using. He said a 9 iron. I said maybe you need more club and handed him an 8 iron. Sure enough, the cart started up and we putt-putted away. It's usually best to use one more club than you think you need.

 

[demlion]

I can't believe that I once thought of buying a Renault Fuego..... but a Le Car?

I traded my yellow-with-orange-stripe 74 Gremlin for it!

 

[Nittany.Lion]

I traded my yellow-with-orange-stripe 74 Gremlin for it!

you're kidding... right? next you'll be telling me you owned a Pacer once.

 

[Victor E. Bell]

That's a Kramer/Newman story.

Here's a similar golf cart story. I was living in the Amherst/Northampton area in the mid-80s. My buddy and I used to play this crappy golf course (Pine Grove/Slime Grove) with equally crappy golf carts. We were going up a hill and the cart died. My buddy lifted up the hood and proceeded to pound the battery with an iron. It wasn't working. I asked him what iron he was using. He said a 9 iron. I said maybe you need more club and handed him an 8 iron. Sure enough, the cart started up and we putt-putted away. It's usually best to use one more club than you think you need.

The beauty of my friend's car was it was impossible to steal. The bad thing was he could never go anywhere by himself.

 

[demlion]

you're kidding... right? next you'll be telling me you owned a Pacer once.

No, not a Pacer. I posted about this not long ago, just to point out that I do not believe that anyone outside a mental hospital ever owned those 2 cars in succession, except me.

To be fair the first one was a hand me down from my dad. I take full blame for the Le Car tho.

 

[artsandletters]

I traded my yellow-with-orange-stripe 74 Gremlin for it!

The LeCar was a great big city car.

 

[demlion]

The LeCar was a great big city car.

Yeah, I would not know.
I got transferred to Midland Texas 6 mos after I bought it. It had no a/c, and it could not be added. I had a company car, tho.