OT: Who says TSA doesn't have a sense of humor?

[Jerry]

We're in Flagstaff for Day One of our grand 1-week tour of northern Arizona. I timed it around what I thought would be a no-contest for us this weekend...since I'll have to miss the game.

Anyway, funny episode at BWI security this afternoon involving my wife. After she carefully instructed me on what I could and could not put in a carry-on bag, she proceeded to step in it herself by packing some electrolyte powder for mixing in water to produce a drink akin to Gatorade. Her sister recommended it as a health-aid thing.

Well when security detected it at check-in, they really went to town on her, spending 20 solid minutes combing through literally every item in her purse and carry-on, then taking her aside for a female agent to do the most thorough pat-down imaginable...every inch front and back.

Then, no kidding, an explosives guy came out to laboriously test the powder. I'm watching this in disbelief while tempted to go over to the barrier and say, officers, please, the woman has 31 grandkids for crying out loud. Seriously, she doesn't fit the terrorist profile.

Anyway, they finally sent her on her way and allowed her to keep the powder. She told the explosives guy that her sister had recommended it. He goes: "Good idea. Blame the sister. We'll put her on a no-fly list." I didn't know some of these guys do have a sense of humor.

 

[Obliviax]

Great story.


When I adopted my daughter, the Russians gave us a manilla envelope sealed with a wax seal and a Russian stamp with instructions to NOT open it until the authorities do upon arriving in the USA. Of course, we had my daughter's new USA passport and all of her immigration papers which took up three three-ring binders. A couple of years after 9-11 we actually had to get a congressman involved to get this all done in time. After our flight on Delta from Moscow to JFK in NYC, we wearily make it to immigration and the TSA calls us into a back room. This uniformed dude with a butch haircut, 6-3, and 5% body fat takes all of the documentation. He pages through the three-ring binders, and passport and finally rips open the manilla envelope. We have no idea what to expect and no idea what is in the envelope. We are gassed from an 11-hour flight with a 14-month-old. He finally looks up and gives me a side-eye, then does the same to my wife. He sighs. He packs it all back up...walks over to me, sticks out his hand, and says "Welcome home, father." Then he gives my wife a hug and says "Welcome home, Mom." We all cried. He did too.

 

[PSU Soupy]

20 years ago I was living in Detroit.

Took my wife and two young daughters to a children’s concert, The Wiggles in Windsor Canada.

After the show, I was about the 50th minivan in line. I come to USA Customs and the Agent asks for my license and asks me where I was coming from. I told him about the kids concert.

He then asked me the name of the Dinosaur in the show.

Name the four guys in the Wiggles?

Which of the Wiggles would fall asleep?

What was my favorite Wiggles song?

After 5 minutes he starts laughing and told me that the TSA people get bored too.

I just laughed.

 

[LionDeNittany]

We're in Flagstaff for Day One of our grand 1-week tour of northern Arizona. I timed it around what I thought would be a no-contest for us this weekend...since I'll have to miss the game.

Anyway, funny episode at BWI security this afternoon involving my wife. After she carefully instructed me on what I could and could not put in a carry-on bag, she proceeded to step in it herself by packing some electrolyte powder for mixing in water to produce a drink akin to Gatorade. Her sister recommended it as a health-aid thing.

Well when security detected it at check-in, they really went to town on her, spending 20 solid minutes combing through literally every item in her purse and carry-on, then taking her aside for a female agent to do the most thorough pat-down imaginable...every inch front and back.

Then, no kidding, an explosives guy came out to laboriously test the powder. I'm watching this in disbelief while tempted to go over to the barrier and say, officers, please, the woman has 31 grandkids for crying out loud. Seriously, she doesn't fit the terrorist profile.

Anyway, they finally sent her on her way and allowed her to keep the powder. She told the explosives guy that her sister had recommended it. He goes: "Good idea. Blame the sister. We'll put her on a no-fly list." I didn't know some of these guys do have a sense of humor.

This is one area where having young kids is a big help.

Just have them cry or whine and they are happy to quickly send you on your way.

LdN

 

[bdgan]

20 years ago I was living in Detroit.

Took my wife and two young daughters to a children’s concert, The Wiggles in Windsor Canada.

After the show, I was about the 50th minivan in line. I come to USA Customs and the Agent asks for my license and asks me where I was coming from. I told him about the kids concert.

He then asked me the name of the Dinosaur in the show.

Name the four guys in the Wiggles?

Which of the Wiggles would fall asleep?

What was my favorite Wiggles song?

After 5 minutes he starts laughing and told me that the TSA people get bored too.

I just laughed.

You can't be too careful with Wiggles fans.

 

[91Joe95]

Anyway, they finally sent her on her way and allowed her to keep the powder. She told the explosives guy that her sister had recommended it. He goes: "Good idea. Blame the sister. We'll put her on a no-fly list." I didn't know some of these guys do have a sense of humor.

Tulsi and her husband say hello. I think the lesson is don't fly commercial.

 

[bdgan]

Not TSA but I was on a Southwest flight coming into BWI back in the day when they joked around more with the passengers. The pilot was dealing with a significant amount of turbulence during our approach. The plane was shaking pretty good and the pilot comes on and says "Ladies and gentlemen, we're a little concerned here in the cockpit." He hesitates and the passengers start to freak out until he comes back on the intercom and says "because the safest part of your journey is about to come to an end. Please be very careful on your drive home".

This was before 9/11 and all the TSA stuff. A pilot would probably be fired immediately if he did something like that today.

 

[91Joe95]

The same government that intentionally allows unvetted military age men from all over the world to invade our borders pretends that probing grandmothers’ Gatorade powder will keep you safe.

On the bright side they don't fly commercial, and they get free passes to fly all over the country without those pesky waiting lines for when they do have to fly commercial.

 

[Jerry]

It’s probably more because Jerry’s son is a lunatic and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

Granted, Matt is famous, but I doubt he's so famous as to be in the forefront of every TSA agent's mind. Then again, who knows.

In any case, after the movie comes out next week, yeah...LOL.

Buy your tickets now...or else you'll have to wait in line.

 

[Jerry]

Great stories, thanks.

We did Sedona today, and it was everything it was cracked up to be. In fact, the 30-mile drive there south from Flagstaff through breathtaking terrain of towering rock formations and pine forests was as amazing as the actual town, which is an upscale New Age mecca...emphasis on upscale. Real estate values are insane.

The temperature at 7:00 AM in Flagstaff was 52. By noon in Sedona, 3000 feet lower in elevation, it was 92. We ventured out on one of the many hiking trails, and the combination of desert foliage and stunning cliffs made for an incredible setting to walk through.

 

[bdgan]

Great stories, thanks.

We did Sedona today, and it was everything it was cracked up to be. In fact, the 30-mile drive there south from Flagstaff through breathtaking terrain of towering rock formations and pine forests was as amazing as the actual town, which is an upscale New Age mecca...emphasis on upscale. Real estate values are insane.

The temperature at 7:00 AM in Flagstaff was 52. By noon in Sedona, 3000 feet lower in elevation, it was 92. We ventured out on one of the many hiking trails, and the combination of desert foliage and stunning cliffs made for an incredible setting to walk through.

Sedona is fantastic. I highly recommend a Jeep tour.

 

[The Spin Meister]

Sedona is fantastic. I highly recommend a Jeep tour.

Rent a mountain bike and ride the Jeep trails. You can stop and explore various sights along the way.

Just take a ton of water! And don’t get lost…..

 

[The Spin Meister]

Pre TSA days: spent the winter of 95/96 in the US Virgin Islands rebuilding homes destroyed by Hurricane Marylin……damage was incredible. Coming home had to go through customs in Puerto Rico and was told to not joke around, just answer any question as these guys don’t piss around.

Guy asked basic questions like why were you there, how long, where did you stay……then he asks me ‘What is the Eight Amendment of the Constitution? A moment of panic ….then said ‘Come on man, no one knows that’

Guy laughs and said ‘ just toying with ya, go ahead.’ As I picked my stuff I said if I did knew the answer that would have been suspicious. He laughed and agreed,

 

[Kasparaitis]

Seeing as a certain someone has “trained” his son to want to overthrow the current government to institute a theocracy, to exterminate groups of people, and to want to impregnate 13 year olds … yeah, it’s shocking they’re not rightfully labeled domestic terrorists and jailed, let alone allowed to fly.

It’s funny how you have a propensity to call other people psychos. I can diagnose you merely from my freshman Psych text.

 

[PurposePitch]

It’s funny how you have a propensity to call other people psychos. I can diagnose you merely from my freshman Psych text.

Except, in true Bushwood Gasbagitis fashion the thing you thought was a "freshman Psych text" was the back of a Lucky Charms cereal box your mom handed to you to occupy you and stop you from breaking things, and your diagnosis is "Yellow Clovers and Green Balloons."

 

[Roar More]

Pre TSA days: spent the winter of 95/96 in the US Virgin Islands rebuilding homes destroyed by Hurricane Marylin……damage was incredible. Coming home had to go through customs in Puerto Rico and was told to not joke around, just answer any question as these guys don’t piss around.

Guy asked basic questions like why were you there, how long, where did you stay……then he asks me ‘What is the Eight Amendment of the Constitution? A moment of panic ….then said ‘Come on man, no one knows that’

Guy laughs and said ‘ just toying with ya, go ahead.’ As I picked my stuff I said if I did knew the answer that would have been suspicious. He laughed and agreed,

You had to go through Customs and never left U.S. territory? WTF?

 

[The Spin Meister]

You had to go through Customs and never left U.S. territory? WTF?

Post hurricane tons of people went to the USVI which was unsecured. And the airport had been extremely damaged so they didn’t have Customs there.

 

[Kasparaitis]

Except, in true Bushwood Gasbagitis fashion the thing you thought was a "freshman Psych text" was the back of a Lucky Charms cereal box your mom handed to you to occupy you and stop you from breaking things, and your diagnosis is "Yellow Clovers and Green Balloons."

Actually I graduated from Penn State with high distinction and with honors in accounting. It ain’t bragging if you can do it.

 

[Kasparaitis]

My wife calls me Bushwood and I call her Gasbagtits. Sometimes I get Lucky.

Interesting.

 

[PurposePitch]

Actually I graduated from Penn State with high distinction and with honors in accounting. It ain’t bragging if you can do it.

Thanks for sharing. But no one asked and that had nothing to do with the post to which you responded. Gold star, lil Gassy. Here’s a Pop-Tart container … er, I mean a crown … for you to wear while you read your “Psych text.” You’re the Frosted Strawberry king!

 

[Kasparaitis]

Thanks for sharing. But no one asked and that had nothing to do with the post to which you responded. Gold star, lil Gassy. Here’s a Pop-Tart container … er, I mean a crown … for you to wear while you read your “Psych text.” You’re the Frosted Strawberry king!

Somewhere along the line someone should have told you it’s not wise to enter a battle of wits unarmed.

 

[PurposePitch]

Interesting.

Interesting?! More like disturbing. You just wrote that you picture yourself as my wife, and that sometimes I get lucky with you.

You need to consult your Rainbow skittles bag to diagnose the significance of that revelation. And it's disturbing, not because of the sexuality aspect (not that there's anything wrong with that) ... but because, if I were going to swing that way, I could surely pull some hot young dude, not some wrinkly old man who can't figure out what a logical fallacy is, or remember who coached Penn State (dementia?). I have standards.

 

[PurposePitch]

Somewhere along the line someone should have told you it’s not wise to enter a battle of wits unarmed.

You finally told a funny. Imagine you having wits! I didn't think you had it in you. Maybe you'll desperately try to share more life accomplishments in response to this post. For what reason? Only you will know.

 

[Kasparaitis]

Interesting?! More like disturbing. You just wrote that you picture yourself as my wife, and that sometimes I get lucky with you.

You need to consult your Rainbow skittles bag to diagnose the significance of that revelation. And it's disturbing, not because of the sexuality aspect (not that there's anything wrong with that) ... but because, if I were going to swing that way, I could surely pull some hot young dude, not some wrinkly old man who can't figure out what a logical fallacy is, or remember who coached Penn State (dementia?). I have standards.

Hey, Dope. The post you are babbling on about reads

PurposePitch said
My wife calls me Bushwood and I call her Gasbagtits. Sometimes I get Lucky.

So all that other crazy stuff spilling out of your empty head is kind of funny but beside the point. Anyone with a functioning brain can read and understand the post. Hence, why you are so confused, agitated and embarrassingly defensive.

Here’s some more advice. When you find yourself stuck in a deep hole stop digging.

 

[PurposePitch]

Hey, Dope. The post you are babbling on about reads

PurposePitch said
My wife calls me Bushwood and I call her Gasbagtits. Sometimes I get Lucky.

So all that other crazy stuff spilling out of your empty head is kind of funny but beside the point. Anyone with a functioning brain can read and understand the post. Hence, why you are so confused, agitated and embarrassingly defensive.

Here’s some more advice. When you find yourself stuck in a deep hole stop digging.

Blech. No need to repost your fantasies. I already expressed my disgust. No means no. You can fantasize about me, but keep it to yourself from now on. Thanks.

 

[Kasparaitis]

I know you have no friends and your family probably avoids you but maybe you can pay someone off the street to read it carefully and slowly back to you. Then come back here and pretend you really didn’t misread it before crying to us about all the crazy thoughts that cloud your damaged mind.

 

[Jerry]

It’s funny how you have a propensity to call other people psychos. I can diagnose you merely from my freshman Psych text.

I called him "Headcase" on the other board, Kasp. The dude is clinical.

 

[Jerry]

Today we visited Walnut Canyon which is around 10 miles east of Flagstaff. We'd never heard of the place before but found it to be a real gem.

We hiked halfway down the canyon wall on a trail leading to the remains of Hopi Indian dwellings carved out of the rock. The Hopis lived there for 150 years between 1100-1250, and it's mindboggling to imagine how they did it. It drives home the fact that life has been darn hard for the vast majority of mankind over most of human history.

The rangers warned us that the hike back up would be strenuous and that we should take water with us, which we did. It was indeed strenuous, but the trail is well maintained and there are a number of benches on which to rest during the ascent.

The view from the guard rails straight down the canyon face is spectacular...but also dizzying. The pine trees and other vegetation covering the canyon walls are simply beautiful.

Our next stop was Meteor Crater, 30 miles further east off I-40. It's the site of a meteor impact some 50,000 years ago in what is now the Arizona desert. It tore through the earth with the power of a 20-megaton atomic warhead creating a tremendous blast wave.

The weather in Flagstaff at 7000 feet above sea level is great, but when you drive east or south of the city and go down a bit in altitude, it does warm up quickly. In fact, it was around 90 at both the canyon and crater today, but honestly, the air is so dry that it didn't feel oppressive at all.

 

[bdgan]

Rent a mountain bike and ride the Jeep trails. You can stop and explore various sights along the way.

Just take a ton of water! And don’t get lost…..

That's a fantastic idea for the 50% of board posters who are young and healthy enough to do such things.

 

[Kasparaitis]

That's a fantastic idea for the 50% of board posters who are young and healthy enough to do such things.

I think they have this new fangled invention called an electric bicycle which would be suitable for our “more experienced” friends. It is similar in theory to the three wheeled Harley-Davidson motorcycle.

 

[The Spin Meister]

That's a fantastic idea for the 50% of board posters who are young and healthy enough to do such things.

Was there twenty years ago and did just that. Loved it so much I bought a mountain bike when I got home. Still ride but on relatively easy trails.

Great workout, better than regular bike. All the twisting and turning really works the abs and body core.

But went through a lot of water in the desert. Had to get refills from the Pink Jerp drivers, they were happy to share!

 

[Jerry]

We started this morning at Agassiz Mountain, one of three mountains called the San Francisco peaks 20 miles north of Flagstaff.

We drove most of the way uphill and then rode a gondola for another 2500 feet. The gondola deposited us at an altitude of 11,500 feet and we walked a trail there to get a little higher. Really amazing views. The temperature at that altitude was around 60.

All three peaks are desolate at the very top...no vegetation...because of brutal weather conditions in winter. It turns out that Flagstaff is one of the snowiest cities in America, averaging over 90 inches every year.

After high mountains, we went to the other extreme and drove 50 miles into the desert to the Wupatki National Monument where we saw the preserved ruins of a Pueblo Indian fortress. Stunning. The Indians lived there, in the middle of a forbidding environment, some 800 years ago...and then abandoned the site for reasons still unknown to scholars.

We walked a trail around the ruins amid written warnings not to venture into the brush because of poisonous snakes.

On the way back to the hotel we stopped at a place called Citadel Pueblo, another Indian dwelling from a long-ago time. We got some wonderful pictures there of desert terrain in the southwest. it's beautiful and hasn't really changed much over the last several centuries.

 

[Jerry]

First off, I thought missing today's game would be "safe" in view of the expected walk-over as a 35-point favorite. Then as I'm checking my phone every 30 minutes or so for a score update, I'm like, you have got to be kidding me.

But after the fact, based on media accounts and the game thread here, look on the bright side: we could have lost...but didn't; the D showed up in the 2nd half; the running game clicked; Allar played well; we've got an All-American tight end.

However, where did Wallace disappear to after his fantastic 1st-week performance? And in that same vein, again little production from the wide receivers. You absolutely need a weapon or two at WR to beat the strong teams on the schedule.

Still, in the end, I wouldn't overread what happened today. We got the W, and that's the main thing. In fact, maybe it's not so bad to get a sanity check early on after the hype following the beat-down of West Virginia.

And speaking of bright sides: great to see that Michigan got throttled by Texas. Where's Connor Stalions when you need him? Plus Iowa loses. Oh wait, that's supposed to be a bad thing for our league...and thus for us. Yeah, it just breaks my heart.

Football aside, today we visited the Painted Desert and Petrified National Forest, both sites around 120 miles east of Flagstaff and part of the same national park complex.

There is an other-worldly beauty about the terrain there...the fantastic colored formations of rock and sand of the Painted Desert, the ruins of an ancient Indian pueblo, and the "forest" of prehistoric petrified tree trunks lying all around the landscape which give the park its name.

The temperature at the park was a very dry 90, but we returned to 65 degrees in Flagstaff.

Last and definitely least, we drove through the town of Winslow, Arizona, where the city has helpfully identified the corner that the Eagles made famous in Take It Easy. However, I saw no girls in flatbed Fords cruising the vicinity. Not that I was looking for one of course.

 

[The Spin Meister]

First off, I thought missing today's game would be "safe" in view of the expected walk-over as a 35-point favorite. Then as I'm checking my phone every 30 minutes or so for a score update, I'm like, you have got to be kidding me.

But after the fact, based on media accounts and the game thread here, look on the bright side: we could have lost...but didn't; the D showed up in the 2nd half; the running game clicked; Allar played well; we've got an All-American tight end.

However, where did Wallace disappear to after his fantastic 1st-week performance? And in that same vein, again little production from the wide receivers. You absolutely need a weapon or two at WR to beat the strong teams on the schedule.

Still, in the end, I wouldn't overread what happened today. We got the W, and that's the main thing. In fact, maybe it's not so bad to get a sanity check early on after the hype following the beat-down of West Virginia.

And speaking of bright sides: great to see that Michigan got throttled by Texas. Where's Connor Stalions when you need him? Plus Iowa loses. Oh wait, that's supposed to be a bad thing for our league...and thus for us. Yeah, it just breaks my heart.

Football aside, today we visited the Painted Desert and Petrified National Forest, both sites around 120 miles east of Flagstaff and part of the same national park complex.

There is an other-worldly beauty about the terrain there...the fantastic colored formations of rock and sand of the Painted Desert, the ruins of an ancient Indian pueblo, and the "forest" of prehistoric petrified tree trunks lying all around the landscape which give the park its name.

The temperature at the park was a very dry 90, but we returned to 65 degrees in Flagstaff.

Last and definitely least, we drove through the town of Winslow, Arizona, where the city has helpfully identified the corner that the Eagles made famous in Take It Easy. However, I saw no girls in flatbed Fords cruising the vicinity. Not that I was looking for one of course.

Enjoying your write ups of trip but to be honest….. any girls in flat bed Fords would speed up after getting a look at you!😹

 

[Jerry]

Enjoying your write ups of trip but to be honest….. any girls in flat bed Fords would speed up after getting a look at you!😹

Haha! Granted, but you'd think the town might have a couple chicks on the payroll to cruise around the designated corner for a few hours each day, slowing down to take a look when the situation called for it.

Today was a breather of sorts. After Mass this morning, we visited the Museum of Northern Arizona just outside town to view an interesting historical record of what geologists call the Colorado Plateau...from prehistoric times when dinosaurs roamed this land to the much more recent centuries of human habitation by Indian tribes.

Then we drove around downtown Flagstaff and a couple residential neighborhoods. I'll tell you what, real estate is off the charts here. We saw fairly ordinary houses in fairly ordinary neighborhoods valued by Zillow at $600,000-700,000...and higher.

Also, I've never seen so many hotels packed into so few square miles. This city is clearly a tourist hot spot...I'm guessing because of its convenient proximity to so many natural attractions. This afternoon a thunderstorm rolled through, which is the first rain we've seen since arriving.

Tomorrow: the grand finale at the Grand Canyon!

 

[The Spin Meister]

Haha! Granted, but you'd think the town might have a couple chicks on the payroll to cruise around the designated corner for a few hours each day, slowing down to take a look when the situation called for it.

Today was a breather of sorts. After Mass this morning, we visited the Museum of Northern Arizona just outside town to view an interesting historical record of what geologists call the Colorado Plateau...from prehistoric times when dinosaurs roamed this land to the much more recent centuries of human habitation by Indian tribes.

Then we drove around downtown Flagstaff and a couple residential neighborhoods. I'll tell you what, real estate is off the charts here. We saw fairly ordinary houses in fairly ordinary neighborhoods valued by Zillow at $600,000-700,000...and higher.

Also, I've never seen so many hotels packed into so few square miles. This city is clearly a tourist hot spot...I'm guessing because of its convenient proximity to so many natural attractions. This afternoon a thunderstorm rolled through, which is the first rain we've seen since arriving.

Tomorrow: the grand finale at the Grand Canyon!

So you would be happy if they paid girls to cruise slowly past you……🧐

If you have never been to the Grand Canyon it will blow you away. Often times when you visit a site you have heard about for years they don’t live up to the hype. There is no way to overhype the GC.

Enjoy!

 

[Jerry]

So you would be happy if they paid girls to cruise slowly past you……🧐

If you have never been to the Grand Canyon it will blow you away. Often times when you visit a site you have heard about for years they don’t live up to the hype. There is no way to overhype the GC.

Enjoy!

You were right, Spin. You usually are...except on one particular topic that will not be specified here...

Anyway, it was as you billed it...a magnificent masterpiece of nature...fully on par with some other wonderful sights I've had the good fortune to experience: sunrise at Cadillac Summit in Maine's Acadia National Park; Big Sur south of Monterey, California, where the Santa Lucia Mountains collide with the Pacific Ocean; Montana's Glacier National Park; California's Yosemite Valley. They were all too breathtaking for me to presume to rank.

Our Grand Canyon trip today starting with a scenic 90-minute drive from Flagstaff. The weather was perfect with temperatures in the 70s and a pleasant breeze.

There were lots of people there, but the crowd was not overwhelming. I wish I had $5 for every different foreign language I heard people speaking.

We drank up the scene at a number of overlooks and also did some short hikes, beginning on the rim trail at the southern edge of the park.

Later we walked a short distance down one of the trails leading to the canyon floor, never intending to go very far. The temperature on the floor was 99, and hikes down there make for amazing memories but are very strenuous. Indeed, several have died this summer, as happens every summer, while attempting the trek as people often underestimate the difficulty, the dehydration potential, the toll that extreme heat takes on the body, and their own fitness.

But all good things must come to an end, so we're heading back home tomorrow with our scheduled route being Phoenix-Chicago-Baltimore.