FC/OT: Anyone with experience navigating the private/independent school scene?

[NewEra 2014]

Midnighter, I expect that nearly everyone looks back on the decisions that they made with their kids' education and rationalizes that the decisions they made were the best for them.

Here is what we found in reality, FWIW. If you can find a public high school that puts college-minded kids on a separate track, either through a gifted & talented program or a more formal IB (International Baccalaureate) program, you tend to get the best of both worlds. Your child ends up going to school with their friends from the neighborhood, but also gets a quality education that prepares them very well for the college of their choice. The social aspect of education is as important, maybe more so, than the academic aspect of education. I can't stress this enough.

In some ways, it is a similar choice that we saw some people make about sports. Some parents moved their kid to another school (usually a private school) for athletics, usually for lacrosse. Some kids even got a scholarship to college, which was the purpose of moving the kid in the first place. In 80-90% of the cases, the kid ended up quitting lax before graduating college and giving up the scholarship. Now in their mid to late 20's, what the kids really remembered about their athletic days was playing with their neighborhood buddies. They all regretted getting moved into a private school for sports.

One other thing: don't ever consider moving your daughter up a grade, no matter what. Moving a kid up a grade NEVER worked, based on several cases that we have seen. Every one of those kids had a miserable experience in school. Don't let Doogie Howser's success fool you.

Good luck to you and your family.

 

[jerrycalpal]

Certainly a lot depends on the family and especially the child. No one here seems to regret the decisions they’ve made vav private and public school - that is pretty telling. Your daughter is lucky - maybe she’ll take Mom and Dad on a trip when she graduates!

You are exactly right. It depends on the kid and school. A public with a strong academic emphasis (philly area- conestoga, strath haven, lower Merien)
Can compete with anyone. It also can have far better values than a private school.
Remember, when you come out, you will have to deal with people of all
walks of life. ( I think the greatest lesson for my daughter was learning to deal with everyone not just other wealthy kids)
Here is the key. If you are a slacker, you can easily slip thru in a public school.
At a private they stay on your ass. Also at a private they will tend to push you to a private college. College is the biggest ripoff in the planet. I suggest people
Think long and hard about that choice because it is the equivalent of buying a house. I encourage kids to go to penn state because it is a world brand.
A kid can not begin to tell you where they will end up, Texas , California, etc.
You want to have a piece of paper that has name ID. Privates tend to push
Kids to small liberal arts colleges that have no name ID.
I encourage kids to go to Ivies, MIT/ U Chicago, or Big Ten.
Or if smaller Villanova. Williams/ F&M or great schools and are excellent
pre-grad schools, it i’d Rather have the kid go to Michigan and gain a
national network. There are an awful lot of terrific small schools like Bates,etc
which are great but not at the full price tag.
Back to the main point. Think of the big picture. The private cost,
The college cost, the grad cost.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Midnighter, I expect that nearly everyone looks back on the decisions that they made with their kids' education and rationalizes that the decisions they made were the best for them.

Here is what we found in reality, FWIW. If you can find a public high school that puts college-minded kids on a separate track, either through a gifted & talented program or a more formal IB (International Baccalaureate) program, you tend to get the best of both worlds. Your child ends up going to school with their friends from the neighborhood, but also gets a quality education that prepares them very well for the college of their choice. The social aspect of education is as important, maybe more so, than the academic aspect of education. I can't stress this enough.

In some ways, it is a similar choice that we saw some people make about sports. Some parents moved their kid to another school (usually a private school) for athletics, usually for lacrosse. Some kids even got a scholarship to college, which was the purpose of moving the kid in the first place. In 80-90% of the cases, the kid ended up quitting lax before graduating college and giving up the scholarship. Now in their mid to late 20's, what the kids really remembered about their athletic days was playing with their neighborhood buddies. They all regretted getting moved into a private school for sports.

One other thing: don't ever consider moving your daughter up a grade, no matter what. Moving a kid up a grade NEVER worked, based on several cases that we have seen. Every one of those kids had a miserable experience in school. Don't let Doogie Howser's success fool you.

Good luck to you and your family.

You are exactly right. It depends on the kid and school. A public with a strong academic emphasis (philly area- conestoga, strath haven, lower Merien)
Can compete with anyone. It also can have far better values than a private school.
Remember, when you come out, you will have to deal with people of all
walks of life. ( I think the greatest lesson for my daughter was learning to deal with everyone not just other wealthy kids)
Here is the key. If you are a slacker, you can easily slip thru in a public school.
At a private they stay on your ass. Also at a private they will tend to push you to a private college. College is the biggest ripoff in the planet. I suggest people
Think long and hard about that choice because it is the equivalent of buying a house. I encourage kids to go to penn state because it is a world brand.
A kid can not begin to tell you where they will end up, Texas , California, etc.
You want to have a piece of paper that has name ID. Privates tend to push
Kids to small liberal arts colleges that have no name ID.
I encourage kids to go to Ivies, MIT/ U Chicago, or Big Ten.
Or if smaller Villanova. Williams/ F&M or great schools and are excellent
pre-grad schools, it i’d Rather have the kid go to Michigan and gain a
national network. There are an awful lot of terrific small schools like Bates,etc
which are great but not at the full price tag.
Back to the main point. Think of the big picture. The private cost,
The college cost, the grad cost.

Thanks to you both for some really good opinion and insight - my wife has been really impressed with the information I've shared from folks on this board and now she sees why I'm on it so much .

 

[4rosco]

Here is the key. If you are a slacker, you can easily slip thru in a public school.
At a private they stay on your ass.

Shouldn't the parents stay on kids ass to ensure they are no just slipping through and not rely on the school?

 

[jerrycalpal]

Shouldn't the parents stay on kids ass to ensure they are no just slipping through and not rely on the school?

Yes they should. I had a compliant daughter and no issues.
I have friends who have a lot of boys. Some did their work others couldn’t be bothered no matter what the parents tried. The reality is that the adolescent brain
ain’t wired right. It takes time and some kids,particularly boys have to mature a bit more. Also we all learn in different ways and schools are not necessarily set up that way.
Here was my formula. Push learning constantly. Find things that they are interested in and use it to teach. For example, if your kid likes psu football, use it as an example to teach statistics and math. I was once with a music professor
Who was playing a gig. On break we talked about music. He said it was all about the mathematics of the beat. A drummer all my life I never thought of it that way.
Then he said how long does it take a receiver to run ten yards? I said if they run a 4.4 thats 1.1 for ten yards! If someone covers at a 4.5 spend then there should be
About a yard separation in the ten yards. He said to me Drew Brees knows that.
That’s why the zone doesn’t work and you have to disrupt patterns. A long
Explanation of music/football/math in one!

 

[4rosco]

Yes they should. I had a compliant daughter and no issues.
I have friends who have a lot of boys. Some did their work others couldn’t be bothered no matter what the parents tried. The reality is that the adolescent brain
ain’t wired right. It takes time and some kids,particularly boys have to mature a bit more. Also we all learn in different ways and schools are not necessarily set up that way.
Here was my formula. Push learning constantly. Find things that they are interested in and use it to teach. For example, if your kid likes psu football, use it as an example to teach statistics and math. I was once with a music professor
Who was playing a gig. On break we talked about music. He said it was all about the mathematics of the beat. A drummer all my life I never thought of it that way.
Then he said how long does it take a receiver to run ten yards? I said if they run a 4.4 thats 1.1 for ten yards! If someone covers at a 4.5 spend then there should be
About a yard separation in the ten yards. He said to me Drew Brees knows that.
That’s why the zone doesn’t work and you have to disrupt patterns. A long
Explanation of music/football/math in one!

But you also have parents who are too busy with their work/social life to be part of their child's education and expect the schools to handle it alone.

It's ultimately the parents responsibility to ensure their child/children get the most out of their HS education to prepare them for life especially in their early years when their brains are developing the most.

 

[Aardvark86]

Shouldn't the parents stay on kids ass to ensure they are no just slipping through and not rely on the school?

To a point. But that’s also how you end up with helicopter parents. If the habits aren’t set by end of 9th grade you’re screwed.

 

[PSU_Chicago]

I have two kids...my daughter went through our public school system here in SEPA. My son attended our public schools through elementary school and attended a private middle and is currently attending a private high school.

Unionville HS for public school? That is a very highly rated school.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Thanks for all the comments and contributions to this thread. I enjoyed reading about everyone’s individual experiences. Today was ‘acceptance day’ in DC and I’m happy to announce we were accepted to our first choice. Raising a glass in celebration!

 

[ApexLion]

We're getting started for my daughter who will be in kindergarten next fall. She's been in a private pre-school since she was nine months old and her school is curriculum based and her current schedule includes daily Spanish, technology, art, music, and reading/writing/math lessons. This in addition to ballet, soccer, and a weekly science immersion course. Wife and I are considering private schools in the NoVa/DC area and have met with a consultant (who was very, very helpful) to discuss what may be a good a fit for our daughter, and what options are available (there are many). Was really interesting to learn how each of the schools we are considering emphasize different things - one was really 'whole student' based and made community/public service an emphasis; another was more technology focused/forward (an Apple Distinguished School) with an emphasis on classics in the upper school; others were more academically rigorous, etc.

We are a bit ahead of schedule since she can't take her WPPSI test until later this year, and right now we're sort of doing informal open house visits (with more formal interviews/visits set up for later on). Does anyone have any experience with the private school process in general or in NoVa/DC more specifically? Thoughts? Anyone have any children who did well/not so well? Obviously, the public schools in the area are all really well thought of but our preference is for private school if possible.

Thanks in advance for any insight!

We were private and then we switched after my oldest (of 4) asked me to send her to public in 7th grade. She’s tearing it up in college now. Best move we ever made. Now all three of her siblings are in public school and doing very well. A lot of our friends with kids in private school are lamenting or worrying about their kids’ ‘isolated’ or ‘non real world’ experience.

My advice is to really look at the school closely, it’s track record and faculty experience. There are a lot of sites available now that grade public and private schools. Good luck Midnighter. It’s a big decision.

 

[Ranger Dan]

Thanks for all the comments and contributions to this thread. I enjoyed reading about everyone’s individual experiences. Today was ‘acceptance day’ in DC and I’m happy to announce we were accepted to our first choice. Raising a glass in celebration!

Congrats. I was saving this, but it no longer applies

https://goo.gl/images/Mzkcjo

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

SSSA?

No, but that was one of our top three. We did get accepted there and it was probably our second choice. We loved all the schools we looked at for different reasons but are happy we were accepted at our top choice.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Congrats. I was saving this, but it no longer applies

https://goo.gl/images/Mzkcjo

LOL, thanks - great quote though; he's not wrong!

 

[ClarkstonMark]

Thanks for all the comments and contributions to this thread. I enjoyed reading about everyone’s individual experiences. Today was ‘acceptance day’ in DC and I’m happy to announce we were accepted to our first choice. Raising a glass in celebration!

Glad you got your choice.
Ironically, since this thread started, I have pulled my son out of his private school to finish his last semester at public HS (he's already accepted and registered at UMich, which I have some mixed feelings about lol). I had previously pulled my 9th grade son out at the start of the school year.
Won't go into details, but I am sure you'll have a better experience.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Glad you got your choice.
Ironically, since this thread started, I have pulled my son out of his private school to finish his last semester at public HS (he's already accepted and registered at UMich, which I have some mixed feelings about lol). I had previously pulled my 9th grade son out at the start of the school year.
Won't go into details, but I am sure you'll have a better experience.

Thanks for sharing; I know everyone's experience is unique and that parents do what is best for their child/family. Michigan is great and they're lucky to have him .

 

[Ranger Dan]

LOL, thanks - great quote though; he's not wrong!

I couldn’t get the gif to show up

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

My sister in law is the middle school art director.

Just curious, did you get the notices via email or did you have to access a website?

Ah, cool - great school. My colleague went there and he's a really impressive young man. We loved a lot about SSSA and were happy to be accepted. As to the notices, they were all via email/text except one - which was our first choice, and we had to access a website after 4pm.