Chappelle is a God! Haha. Yeah, you want me in the car to run interference. My ability to get out of tickets is near legendary - I should probably be a drug mule making runs up I-95.
The very few times I've been hassled by a redneck cop (Pine Barrens, NJ, some real ahole cop of some sort in DC) it's so shocking. The incident in DC, caused by me honking a horn at traffic and this guy rushing across the street to pull this massive, angry power trip, came out of nowhere. There are people who say don't mouth off to cops, and that's great advice, but this guy made it nearly impossible. It came to nothing, but holy hell. If I was more immature at the time I might have said something and who knows what happens.
As for your issue with the sun, that's bizarre. Too bad. I have a white friend who ended up contracting the skin condition Michael Jackson had - loss of skin pigment in places. Going outside in the sun is very risky and he has to take serious precautions.