I am very sorry for your loss. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the signs just aren't there. My eighteen-year-old daughter had a really good friend that was a great kid. He would often join us for lunch after church. I really liked him. He was bright, well-spoken and friendly. A few months ago he went missing while out on a hike. They found his body late that evening. He had shot himself. It shocked all of us, including my daughter.
When I was in H.S. I suffered from chronic suicidal thoughts. I am just thankful I didn't have access to a firearm or I might have ended up like my daughter's friend. Had I chosen suicide I am sure all of my classmates would have been shocked. I was popular and was even voted Best Personality my senior year. I say all of this for anyone who might blame themselves for supposedly missing the signs. Thirty-two years as a police officer taught me that often times people people exist as two separate individuals, the public one that seems to have it all together, and the private one that is wrestling with demons and darkness no one close to them could even imagine.
