OT: A personal note to the McAndrew Board Members......

[Nittany.Lion]

Wasn't sure how what to put in the subject line, but here goes.....

Some of you might recall my post from a year ago regarding my wife. To summarize, while on vacation in Florida last August my wife collapsed, we found out she had a brain tumor and I drove her back to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for treatment, etc.

After a long hard year, my wife passed away in mid-August, a little over a month ago. Oligodendrogliomas are a bitch. But that's not why I am posting. I'd like to share a few poignant Penn State related moments from the past few weeks since my wife's passing.......

We met at Penn State as undergrads in the early '80's. We were season ticket holders for many years but in the last ten or so years my wife only attended one or two games a year. One of my friends, who often used my wife's ticket, sent me a text the night after my wife's funeral. It read "Just wanted to tell you that on my way to ----'s funeral, "Don't Stop Believin' " came on the radio. The playing of that song was always one of my favorite moments at Beaver Stadium, and since I always sat in ----'s seat, well, was it coincidence? I think not."

A few weeks later, my 13 year old son and I loaded up the SUV and headed to State College for the Kent State game. As we pulled out of the driveway at 6AM, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing? "Don't Stop Believin' ". Honest to God.

I spent a lot of that weekend walking around campus and town with my son retracing a lot of history.
Bigler hall, where my wife lived as a freshman...the Nat across the street where my wife and I would meet, swim (and then head back to her room at Bigler Hall)...her apartment above Lion's Pride that she subleased one summer and my apartment on Beaver that I subleased the same summer (my rather conservative parents told me years later that they didn't understand why we didn't share an apartment that summer)....all the places on campus where we would meet to study -- the HUB, a certain lecture hall in Walker Bldg...Pattee.....Hammond. The Forum Building where we would see movies on Saturday and would then return on Sunday afternoon for "Boozer's Mass".

It was a great weekend...probably the best one I've ever had at Penn State.

Sorry for your loss

 

[ILLINOISLION]

CF - When I lost my Dad early in 2014 I shared his life and death with this Board and was then and will forever be grateful for so many of the comments friends here made to help me get through my personal pain.

I can't begin to express myself as well as so many people already have done in this thread; I wish I could. I read every message to you and many brought tears to my eyes. May all these thoughts and prayers help bring comfort to you and your family.

 

[colt21]

Wasn't sure how what to put in the subject line, but here goes.....

Some of you might recall my post from a year ago regarding my wife. To summarize, while on vacation in Florida last August my wife collapsed, we found out she had a brain tumor and I drove her back to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for treatment, etc.

After a long hard year, my wife passed away in mid-August, a little over a month ago. Oligodendrogliomas are a bitch. But that's not why I am posting. I'd like to share a few poignant Penn State related moments from the past few weeks since my wife's passing.......

We met at Penn State as undergrads in the early '80's. We were season ticket holders for many years but in the last ten or so years my wife only attended one or two games a year. One of my friends, who often used my wife's ticket, sent me a text the night after my wife's funeral. It read "Just wanted to tell you that on my way to ----'s funeral, "Don't Stop Believin' " came on the radio. The playing of that song was always one of my favorite moments at Beaver Stadium, and since I always sat in ----'s seat, well, was it coincidence? I think not."

A few weeks later, my 13 year old son and I loaded up the SUV and headed to State College for the Kent State game. As we pulled out of the driveway at 6AM, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing? "Don't Stop Believin' ". Honest to God.

I spent a lot of that weekend walking around campus and town with my son retracing a lot of history.
Bigler hall, where my wife lived as a freshman...the Nat across the street where my wife and I would meet, swim (and then head back to her room at Bigler Hall)...her apartment above Lion's Pride that she subleased one summer and my apartment on Beaver that I subleased the same summer (my rather conservative parents told me years later that they didn't understand why we didn't share an apartment that summer)....all the places on campus where we would meet to study -- the HUB, a certain lecture hall in Walker Bldg...Pattee.....Hammond. The Forum Building where we would see movies on Saturday and would then return on Sunday afternoon for "Boozer's Mass".

It was a great weekend...probably the best one I've ever had at Penn State.

I'm so sorry CF
I'm sorry for your loss and happy you carry such great memories
Peace Be With You

 

[psuro]

My deepest condolences to you and your family at this time.

 

[kgilbert78]

Dear CF,
I am extending my condolences as my eyes are blurred with tears. Like others who have responded I lost my wife as well to cancer ( it will be 7 years on 10/10). We met at age 12 and the world can become a very strange and unfamiliar place when suddenly the best half of you is gone. I sometimes find that I am a stranger to myself.
I'm not an alum...just a Pennsylvania boy with a Penn State heart. When my wife passed, I knew that I would never be able to celebrate Christmas again (she really enjoyed going overboard with gift for our boys etc). Our sons were young adults and also huge PSU Football Fans (don't know if they had a choice.) I had a close friend who coached for JVP and we used to go to spring practice etc. when they were young. In fact, the photo above is one such visit. Anyway, I celebrate the holiday by taking them for a week to PSU's bowl destination. We are able to avoid the sadness and instead enjoy the excitement of PSU Football. I think the moment we all enjoyed most was attending Joe's last bowl pep rally in Tampa. I am so glad we could witness that.
You and your son will have fond memories of your wife, and yes create some new ones as well. While I don't know you and we will never meet, you and your son will be in my prayers.

Someday, I hope you will be able to celebrate Christmas again, though not in the same way. I know. Our first pregnancy would have been a Christmas baby, but we lost it at 10 weeks. Our second was twins--and my wife miscarried on Thanksgiving Day. The first couple of years were hard. But we enjoy the holidays now. My wife loves putting up her Christmas elephants (actually, I put them up, but I digress). We enjoy our nieces and nephews, and I was able to mentor a young man who lost his father at an early age--he's now a sophomore in college. I often think that in some way he was God's gift and compensation for our loss. I'd likely not have done it had I had a child of my own.

 

[Player2BNamedL8r]

Words are hard to come by in moments like these...thoughts, prayers, and heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Drunk_MackDaddy]

Wasn't sure how what to put in the subject line, but here goes.....

Some of you might recall my post from a year ago regarding my wife. To summarize, while on vacation in Florida last August my wife collapsed, we found out she had a brain tumor and I drove her back to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for treatment, etc.

After a long hard year, my wife passed away in mid-August, a little over a month ago. Oligodendrogliomas are a bitch. But that's not why I am posting. I'd like to share a few poignant Penn State related moments from the past few weeks since my wife's passing.......

We met at Penn State as undergrads in the early '80's. We were season ticket holders for many years but in the last ten or so years my wife only attended one or two games a year. One of my friends, who often used my wife's ticket, sent me a text the night after my wife's funeral. It read "Just wanted to tell you that on my way to ----'s funeral, "Don't Stop Believin' " came on the radio. The playing of that song was always one of my favorite moments at Beaver Stadium, and since I always sat in ----'s seat, well, was it coincidence? I think not."

A few weeks later, my 13 year old son and I loaded up the SUV and headed to State College for the Kent State game. As we pulled out of the driveway at 6AM, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing? "Don't Stop Believin' ". Honest to God.

I spent a lot of that weekend walking around campus and town with my son retracing a lot of history.
Bigler hall, where my wife lived as a freshman...the Nat across the street where my wife and I would meet, swim (and then head back to her room at Bigler Hall)...her apartment above Lion's Pride that she subleased one summer and my apartment on Beaver that I subleased the same summer (my rather conservative parents told me years later that they didn't understand why we didn't share an apartment that summer)....all the places on campus where we would meet to study -- the HUB, a certain lecture hall in Walker Bldg...Pattee.....Hammond. The Forum Building where we would see movies on Saturday and would then return on Sunday afternoon for "Boozer's Mass".

It was a great weekend...probably the best one I've ever had at Penn State.

"Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief."
William Faulkner, The Wild Palms

Why? Nobody knows. View with suspicion those that think they do.

All I know is this...
There are three stages of life:

1) Birth
2) What the fvck is this
3) Death

Right now, you have grief. Why? You were loved and you reciprocated that love. You were blessed. May you find peace.

 

[ThePennsyOracle]

Thoughts & prayers are with you and your family, CF. I was very touched by your story last year, and am so sad to see this post about your wife passing away. Despite this, the story you shared with your son is a stark reminder that we need to appreciate each moment in life.

Never forget the past, but always move forward because if you don't, you'll regret the past and worry about the future by missing the present.

Cancer is a bitch.

 

[delcoLion]

Wasn't sure how what to put in the subject line, but here goes.....

Some of you might recall my post from a year ago regarding my wife. To summarize, while on vacation in Florida last August my wife collapsed, we found out she had a brain tumor and I drove her back to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for treatment, etc.

After a long hard year, my wife passed away in mid-August, a little over a month ago. Oligodendrogliomas are a bitch. But that's not why I am posting. I'd like to share a few poignant Penn State related moments from the past few weeks since my wife's passing.......

We met at Penn State as undergrads in the early '80's. We were season ticket holders for many years but in the last ten or so years my wife only attended one or two games a year. One of my friends, who often used my wife's ticket, sent me a text the night after my wife's funeral. It read "Just wanted to tell you that on my way to ----'s funeral, "Don't Stop Believin' " came on the radio. The playing of that song was always one of my favorite moments at Beaver Stadium, and since I always sat in ----'s seat, well, was it coincidence? I think not."

A few weeks later, my 13 year old son and I loaded up the SUV and headed to State College for the Kent State game. As we pulled out of the driveway at 6AM, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing? "Don't Stop Believin' ". Honest to God.

I spent a lot of that weekend walking around campus and town with my son retracing a lot of history.
Bigler hall, where my wife lived as a freshman...the Nat across the street where my wife and I would meet, swim (and then head back to her room at Bigler Hall)...her apartment above Lion's Pride that she subleased one summer and my apartment on Beaver that I subleased the same summer (my rather conservative parents told me years later that they didn't understand why we didn't share an apartment that summer)....all the places on campus where we would meet to study -- the HUB, a certain lecture hall in Walker Bldg...Pattee.....Hammond. The Forum Building where we would see movies on Saturday and would then return on Sunday afternoon for "Boozer's Mass".

It was a great weekend...probably the best one I've ever had at Penn State.

CF, please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of Mrs. CF.

 

[dbsteel]

Very sorry for your loss......

 

[CF LION]

Beautiful post. Best wishes to you and your family.

I would like to make an offer and hopefully it is not offensive certainly not the intent. If you email me I would like to offer to custom frame an image of your wife or your family for your home. It's on the shop. Email is statecollegeframing@comcast.net, I am John.

Best wishes.

Thanks for your kindness and generosity. The offers of help, many from people who were just casual acquaintances, was at times overwhelming this past year. It's quite possible my wife and I wandered into your shop at some point over the past 30 years. We either visited or stopped through State College on our way somewhere else several times a year. I hope others here see your generosity and keep it in mind when in the market for your services.

I'll contact you directly at some point. Thanks again.

 

[lionroar88]

CF - Sorry for you loss. I cannot fathom losing my wife.

It never ceases to amaze me how this board and bring us all back to Earth and reality.

 

[Dr. Evel]

Wasn't sure how what to put in the subject line, but here goes.....

Some of you might recall my post from a year ago regarding my wife. To summarize, while on vacation in Florida last August my wife collapsed, we found out she had a brain tumor and I drove her back to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for treatment, etc.

After a long hard year, my wife passed away in mid-August, a little over a month ago. Oligodendrogliomas are a bitch. But that's not why I am posting. I'd like to share a few poignant Penn State related moments from the past few weeks since my wife's passing.......

We met at Penn State as undergrads in the early '80's. We were season ticket holders for many years but in the last ten or so years my wife only attended one or two games a year. One of my friends, who often used my wife's ticket, sent me a text the night after my wife's funeral. It read "Just wanted to tell you that on my way to ----'s funeral, "Don't Stop Believin' " came on the radio. The playing of that song was always one of my favorite moments at Beaver Stadium, and since I always sat in ----'s seat, well, was it coincidence? I think not."

A few weeks later, my 13 year old son and I loaded up the SUV and headed to State College for the Kent State game. As we pulled out of the driveway at 6AM, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing? "Don't Stop Believin' ". Honest to God.

I spent a lot of that weekend walking around campus and town with my son retracing a lot of history.
Bigler hall, where my wife lived as a freshman...the Nat across the street where my wife and I would meet, swim (and then head back to her room at Bigler Hall)...her apartment above Lion's Pride that she subleased one summer and my apartment on Beaver that I subleased the same summer (my rather conservative parents told me years later that they didn't understand why we didn't share an apartment that summer)....all the places on campus where we would meet to study -- the HUB, a certain lecture hall in Walker Bldg...Pattee.....Hammond. The Forum Building where we would see movies on Saturday and would then return on Sunday afternoon for "Boozer's Mass".

It was a great weekend...probably the best one I've ever had at Penn State.

Tom McA reply really summed up what I would expect most of us feel.

I will just add that you seem like a very good soul. Your wife was fortunate to have you in her life. My best to your son and you, and please update us all when you can. Anything we can do, don't hesitate to ask -- seriously.

 

[MrDibbs]

CF LION ... my sincerest condolences. She was a special person in your and your children's lives. The good Lord works in many mysterious ways that we humans will never understand. Her battle is over and she is with Him - Don't Stop Believing.

 

[Spydersgirl]

CF...my sincere condolences to you and your family. I lost my husband a little over six years ago...you will get better, the hurt will dull, but you are forever changed. I had similar things happen after my husband left this earthly realm...things that could not be explained as coincidence. Take comfort in them when they occur...they are meant to give you hope.

 

[NoVaNittany]

Can't even imagine trying to understand your loss. Here's hoping every visit to PSU with your son fills your heart and his with great memories.

 

[Madsol]

CF Lion...I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that your posting your story here and the responses bring you a true level of comfort. And thank you for the reminder to always cherish our wives. The first thing I did after I read you post (and wiped the tears from my eyes) was send my wife a text telling her how much I loved her.

 

[maxxedout]

Beautiful post. Took guts to share and depth of character to portray. Very sorry for your tremendous loss, but the memories you shared were clearly fantastic. Great that you could share that nostalgia with your son.

 

[CF LION]

A few additional things to add to the thread:

1. I went back and looked up CF's post from last year when he first posted about his wife's health issues. You can read it at THIS LINK.

2. CF mentioned his son in his post earlier this evening, and many of you have mentioned him in your replies. If I recall correctly, CF has a daughter that graduated from Duquesne two years ago. I don't know how many kids CF has, but let's keep his entire family in our prayers.

3. CF changed his avatar this evening. I've never met CF, or his wife, but my guess is he's now featuring a lovely picture of his wife in his avatar. (Edit: appears I was writing this while CF was posting that it was a pic of his wife.)

Great memory Tom! Just the two kids -- my wife and I had them 10 years apart.

Funny how things work out, but my daughter had just moved to Houston upon graduation in 2015 to start her career. In May of this year, because of the DuPont-Dow merger she was relocated back to Wilmington, enabling her to spend the last three months with her mom.

 

[rivalion]

CF, My thoughts and prayers for you and your family!

 

[CF LION]

"Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief."
William Faulkner, The Wild Palms

Why? Nobody knows. View with suspicion those that think they do.

All I know is this...
There are three stages of life:

1) Birth
2) What the fvck is this
3) Death

Right now, you have grief. Why? You were loved and you reciprocated that love. You were blessed. May you find peace.

Thanks MD. Wife was a big Sade fan.

 

[CF LION]

One final thing I'd like to share....

I delivered my wife's eulogy and spoke about the many facets of her life, including our time at Penn State. I've shared that part of my speech below. It might sound familiar to those of you who met your partner in college. (The names were changed for privacy purposes).......

Jane and I met while we were students at Penn State. In the typical college way we met at a party. Jane's roommate Mary happened to be my lab partner for one my classes, and one day during class she invited me to a party that she was going to on Saturday night. Sure, sounds fun, I thought. When I walked into the party, I looked around and saw this girl with this incredible head of hair, twinkling green eyes and a smile that completely lit up the room. I think you all know that smile. We made eye contact and from that moment on, my life changed forever.

After a few beers I finally got the nerve to walk over and say hi. We talked a little, and learned that we had come from completely different backgrounds. I was from a one red-light town in western Pennsylvania and her family was from the New York City metro. She grew up spending her weekends catching the train into Manhattan. I spent mine cruising main street in a town that took about 15 seconds to travel from one end to the other. I have no shot with this girl, I thought. A couple of weeks passed, and one day Mary asked me why I hadn't asked Jane out on a date. “She really likes you, you know”. I was shocked and thrilled to hear this but also really nervous. Don't blow this, I thought. But I remembered from our short talk at the party that one thing Jane and I had in common was an appreciation for the arts. I knew that Michael Tilson Thomas and the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra were performing at Eisenhower Auditorium at Penn State the following weekend. That's it I thought. I will really impress her and invite her to the concert. So I asked her and she told me that she'd love to go. Some months later I found out that she really didn't care for the orchestra that much – live theatre, opera and ballet were more her thing - but she liked that I thought that she would. We started to date regularly and soon we spent nearly all of our time together. My parents were concerned that this would have an effect on my grades. And it did. They improved considerably. Jane's presence in my life was not only making me a better student, but a better person as well. She had begun teaching me so much about myself.

I graduated a year before Jane and during her senior year I proposed, she said yes, and we were married in November of 1984, 6 months after she graduated. And ever since she has been the center of my world. All of my life's lessons were learned through her. Whatever good qualities I may have, they are because of Jane.

p.s. My wife's cousin is a Michigan grad. The PSU-UM game was always a big one for us for family bragging rights. I won't Stop Believin' ..... I think we have some extra pull this week.

 

[Dr. Evel]

One final thing I'd like to share....

I delivered my wife's eulogy and spoke about the many facets of her life, including our time at Penn State. I've shared that part of my speech below. It might sound familiar to those of you who met your partner in college. (The names were changed for privacy purposes).......

Jane and I met while we were students at Penn State. In the typical college way we met at a party. Jane's roommate Mary happened to be my lab partner for one my classes, and one day during class she invited me to a party that she was going to on Saturday night. Sure, sounds fun, I thought. When I walked into the party, I looked around and saw this girl with this incredible head of hair, twinkling green eyes and a smile that completely lit up the room. I think you all know that smile. We made eye contact and from that moment on, my life changed forever.

After a few beers I finally got the nerve to walk over and say hi. We talked a little, and learned that we had come from completely different backgrounds. I was from a one red-light town in western Pennsylvania and her family was from the New York City metro. She grew up spending her weekends catching the train into Manhattan. I spent mine cruising main street in a town that took about 15 seconds to travel from one end to the other. I have no shot with this girl, I thought. A couple of weeks passed, and one day Mary asked me why I hadn't asked Jane out on a date. “She really likes you, you know”. I was shocked and thrilled to hear this but also really nervous. Don't blow this, I thought. But I remembered from our short talk at the party that one thing Jane and I had in common was an appreciation for the arts. I knew that Michael Tilson Thomas and the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra were performing at Eisenhower Auditorium at Penn State the following weekend. That's it I thought. I will really impress her and invite her to the concert. So I asked her and she told me that she'd love to go. Some months later I found out that she really didn't care for the orchestra that much – live theatre, opera and ballet were more her thing - but she liked that I thought that she would. We started to date regularly and soon we spent nearly all of our time together. My parents were concerned that this would have an effect on my grades. And it did. They improved considerably. Jane's presence in my life was not only making me a better student, but a better person as well. She had begun teaching me so much about myself.

I graduated a year before Jane and during her senior year I proposed, she said yes, and we were married in November of 1984, 6 months after she graduated. And ever since she has been the center of my world. All of my life's lessons were learned through her. Whatever good qualities I may have, they are because of Jane.

p.s. My wife's cousin is a Michigan grad. The PSU-UM game was always a big one for us for family bragging rights. I won't Stop Believin' ..... I think we have some extra pull this week.

You're an awesome guy. Seriously. We graduated the same year, and I hope that I was fortunate enough to have crossed paths with you and/or your wife.

Do you live in SE PA? For some reason, I have that impression.

 

[fairgambit]

One final thing I'd like to share....

I delivered my wife's eulogy and spoke about the many facets of her life, including our time at Penn State. I've shared that part of my speech below. It might sound familiar to those of you who met your partner in college. (The names were changed for privacy purposes).......

Jane and I met while we were students at Penn State. In the typical college way we met at a party. Jane's roommate Mary happened to be my lab partner for one my classes, and one day during class she invited me to a party that she was going to on Saturday night. Sure, sounds fun, I thought. When I walked into the party, I looked around and saw this girl with this incredible head of hair, twinkling green eyes and a smile that completely lit up the room. I think you all know that smile. We made eye contact and from that moment on, my life changed forever.

After a few beers I finally got the nerve to walk over and say hi. We talked a little, and learned that we had come from completely different backgrounds. I was from a one red-light town in western Pennsylvania and her family was from the New York City metro. She grew up spending her weekends catching the train into Manhattan. I spent mine cruising main street in a town that took about 15 seconds to travel from one end to the other. I have no shot with this girl, I thought. A couple of weeks passed, and one day Mary asked me why I hadn't asked Jane out on a date. “She really likes you, you know”. I was shocked and thrilled to hear this but also really nervous. Don't blow this, I thought. But I remembered from our short talk at the party that one thing Jane and I had in common was an appreciation for the arts. I knew that Michael Tilson Thomas and the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra were performing at Eisenhower Auditorium at Penn State the following weekend. That's it I thought. I will really impress her and invite her to the concert. So I asked her and she told me that she'd love to go. Some months later I found out that she really didn't care for the orchestra that much – live theatre, opera and ballet were more her thing - but she liked that I thought that she would. We started to date regularly and soon we spent nearly all of our time together. My parents were concerned that this would have an effect on my grades. And it did. They improved considerably. Jane's presence in my life was not only making me a better student, but a better person as well. She had begun teaching me so much about myself.

I graduated a year before Jane and during her senior year I proposed, she said yes, and we were married in November of 1984, 6 months after she graduated. And ever since she has been the center of my world. All of my life's lessons were learned through her. Whatever good qualities I may have, they are because of Jane.

p.s. My wife's cousin is a Michigan grad. The PSU-UM game was always a big one for us for family bragging rights. I won't Stop Believin' ..... I think we have some extra pull this week.

"And ever since she has been the center of my world. All of my life's lessons were learned through her. Whatever good qualities I may have, they are because of Jane."

Eloquently stated. She must have been quite a lady.

 

[marshall23]

Someday, I hope you will be able to celebrate Christmas again, though not in the same way. I know. Our first pregnancy would have been a Christmas baby, but we lost it at 10 weeks. Our second was twins--and my wife miscarried on Thanksgiving Day. The first couple of years were hard. But we enjoy the holidays now. My wife loves putting up her Christmas elephants (actually, I put them up, but I digress). We enjoy our nieces and nephews, and I was able to mentor a young man who lost his father at an early age--he's now a sophomore in college. I often think that in some way he was God's gift and compensation for our loss. I'd likely not have done it had I had a child of my own.

I'm sorry for the pain you and your wife experienced. Actually, we lost a child to a very late miscarriage, before our 2 sons were born. We were fortunate enough to have a very good Physician who diagnosed my wife with an " incompetent cervix." She had a suture placed to prevent her cervix from dilating early and it was removed when the pregnancy was full term.
I don't have any grand children yet. If and when I am so blessed, I think I will be able to see the holidays again thru their eyes. I find that the wife and mother is the agenda setter and CEO of all things. I just drift from day to day now and days that had significance are just numbers on the calendar.
Anyway, thanks for your good wishes, they are much appreciated.

 

[CF LION]

You're an awesome guy. Seriously. We graduated the same year, and I hope that I was fortunate enough to have crossed paths with you and/or your wife.

Do you live in SE PA? For some reason, I have that impression.

Yes. I've lived in Chester County for the past 20 years. CF = Chadds Ford ....... I know, real creative moniker.

 

[CF LION]

"And ever since she has been the center of my world. All of my life's lessons were learned through her. Whatever good qualities I may have, they are because of Jane."

Eloquently stated. She must have been quite a lady.

Thank you, and yes she was.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Wasn't sure how what to put in the subject line, but here goes.....

Some of you might recall my post from a year ago regarding my wife. To summarize, while on vacation in Florida last August my wife collapsed, we found out she had a brain tumor and I drove her back to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for treatment, etc.

After a long hard year, my wife passed away in mid-August, a little over a month ago. Oligodendrogliomas are a bitch. But that's not why I am posting. I'd like to share a few poignant Penn State related moments from the past few weeks since my wife's passing.......

We met at Penn State as undergrads in the early '80's. We were season ticket holders for many years but in the last ten or so years my wife only attended one or two games a year. One of my friends, who often used my wife's ticket, sent me a text the night after my wife's funeral. It read "Just wanted to tell you that on my way to ----'s funeral, "Don't Stop Believin' " came on the radio. The playing of that song was always one of my favorite moments at Beaver Stadium, and since I always sat in ----'s seat, well, was it coincidence? I think not."

A few weeks later, my 13 year old son and I loaded up the SUV and headed to State College for the Kent State game. As we pulled out of the driveway at 6AM, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing? "Don't Stop Believin' ". Honest to God.

I spent a lot of that weekend walking around campus and town with my son retracing a lot of history.
Bigler hall, where my wife lived as a freshman...the Nat across the street where my wife and I would meet, swim (and then head back to her room at Bigler Hall)...her apartment above Lion's Pride that she subleased one summer and my apartment on Beaver that I subleased the same summer (my rather conservative parents told me years later that they didn't understand why we didn't share an apartment that summer)....all the places on campus where we would meet to study -- the HUB, a certain lecture hall in Walker Bldg...Pattee.....Hammond. The Forum Building where we would see movies on Saturday and would then return on Sunday afternoon for "Boozer's Mass".

It was a great weekend...probably the best one I've ever had at Penn State.

Heartbreaking and wonderful - thank you for sharing. I don't know that I would have the courage to post what you did, but find comfort in your powerful and loving memories of your wife. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve but find comfort in the words of others. This has been shared a lot, but I find it reassuring and maybe appropriate for you. You and your son seem to be doing quite well - that is something you will always have.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

 

[PSU_Chicago]

CF ... my best wishes to you and your family. You memories and thoughts of your wife are wonderful.

You have me a little bit teary at the McAndrew board today....

 

[BFPSU]

Sorry about your loss. Great post. All the best to you and your family.

 

[kgilbert78]

I'm sorry for the pain you and your wife experienced. Actually, we lost a child to a very late miscarriage, before our 2 sons were born. We were fortunate enough to have a very good Physician who diagnosed my wife with an " incompetent cervix." She had a suture placed to prevent her cervix from dilating early and it was removed when the pregnancy was full term.
I don't have any grand children yet. If and when I am so blessed, I think I will be able to see the holidays again thru their eyes. I find that the wife and mother is the agenda setter and CEO of all things. I just drift from day to day now and days that had significance are just numbers on the calendar.
Anyway, thanks for your good wishes, they are much appreciated.

I do hope and pray for your eventual healing here....

 

[CF LION]

Heartbreaking and wonderful - thank you for sharing. I don't know that I would have the courage to post what you did, but find comfort in your powerful and loving memories of your wife. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve but find comfort in the words of others. This has been shared a lot, but I find it reassuring and maybe appropriate for you. You and your son seem to be doing quite well - that is something you will always have.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. These words speak to me -- my wife's wishes were to be cremated, so this poem is especially meaningful.

 

[nits74]

Heartbreaking and wonderful - thank you for sharing. I don't know that I would have the courage to post what you did, but find comfort in your powerful and loving memories of your wife. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve but find comfort in the words of others. This has been shared a lot, but I find it reassuring and maybe appropriate for you. You and your son seem to be doing quite well - that is something you will always have.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Midnighter, this poem never ceases to bring a tear or two to my eye. Good post.

 

[OXLion]

CF Lion

As you can see this is my first post here. I have been a lurker for a long time. Your post has so moved me. Your courage to share and your obvious love of your wife show you are truly a special person. I would like to hope that if faced with the same circumstances that I could truly honor my wife as you have yours with your memories. My prayers are with you and your family.

 

[PSUFBFAN]

Wasn't sure how what to put in the subject line, but here goes.....

Some of you might recall my post from a year ago regarding my wife. To summarize, while on vacation in Florida last August my wife collapsed, we found out she had a brain tumor and I drove her back to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for treatment, etc.

After a long hard year, my wife passed away in mid-August, a little over a month ago. Oligodendrogliomas are a bitch. But that's not why I am posting. I'd like to share a few poignant Penn State related moments from the past few weeks since my wife's passing.......

We met at Penn State as undergrads in the early '80's. We were season ticket holders for many years but in the last ten or so years my wife only attended one or two games a year. One of my friends, who often used my wife's ticket, sent me a text the night after my wife's funeral. It read "Just wanted to tell you that on my way to ----'s funeral, "Don't Stop Believin' " came on the radio. The playing of that song was always one of my favorite moments at Beaver Stadium, and since I always sat in ----'s seat, well, was it coincidence? I think not."

A few weeks later, my 13 year old son and I loaded up the SUV and headed to State College for the Kent State game. As we pulled out of the driveway at 6AM, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing? "Don't Stop Believin' ". Honest to God.

I spent a lot of that weekend walking around campus and town with my son retracing a lot of history.
Bigler hall, where my wife lived as a freshman...the Nat across the street where my wife and I would meet, swim (and then head back to her room at Bigler Hall)...her apartment above Lion's Pride that she subleased one summer and my apartment on Beaver that I subleased the same summer (my rather conservative parents told me years later that they didn't understand why we didn't share an apartment that summer)....all the places on campus where we would meet to study -- the HUB, a certain lecture hall in Walker Bldg...Pattee.....Hammond. The Forum Building where we would see movies on Saturday and would then return on Sunday afternoon for "Boozer's Mass".

It was a great weekend...probably the best one I've ever had at Penn State.

Sending my thoughts and prayers that you and your son's grief is turned into peaceful and loving memories.

 

[fairgambit]

CF Lion

As you can see this is my first post here. I have been a lurker for a long time. Your post has so moved me. Your courage to share and your obvious love of your wife show you are truly a special person. I would like to hope that if faced with the same circumstances that I could truly honor my wife as you have yours with your memories. My prayers are with you and your family.

That was nicely said OXLion.
Please consider posting more often.

 

[Statewise]

CF Lion

As you can see this is my first post here. I have been a lurker for a long time. Your post has so moved me. Your courage to share and your obvious love of your wife show you are truly a special person. I would like to hope that if faced with the same circumstances that I could truly honor my wife as you have yours with your memories. My prayers are with you and your family.

Lovely sentiments and mine exactly. My heart goes out to you CF.

 

[CF LION]

Midnighter, I've read this poem scores of times today. Just wanted you to know it has touched me deeply. I got no work done and once I got home I had to tell my son my allergies are really bothering me today.

It's as if my wife were speaking to me directly.

Heartbreaking and wonderful - thank you for sharing. I don't know that I would have the courage to post what you did, but find comfort in your powerful and loving memories of your wife. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve but find comfort in the words of others. This has been shared a lot, but I find it reassuring and maybe appropriate for you. You and your son seem to be doing quite well - that is something you will always have.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Midnighter, I've read this poem scores of times today. Just wanted you to know it has touched me deeply. I got no work done and once I got home I had to tell my son my allergies are really bothering me today.

It's as if my wife were speaking to me directly.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it; really keeps me grounded and hopeful when I read it - and it's so true; that's the best part.

 

[Zenophile]

CF, I'm so sorry about your wife. Your stories are movingly beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Thank you for sharing them here.