So I came downstairs to find that my wife had just cut the piece of meat in half so that it would fit in a roasting pan and threw it in there with some water and spices. I panicked realising my opportunity to fulfill my destiny had passed but I pulled that beast out of the oven and browned the tops and bottoms anyway. There was hot oil everywhere, I was swearing and I'm pretty sure my kids think I went nuts. Then I decide to make her corn pudding to go with it and I unnecessarily doubled the recipe. So now we have too much pork that may or may not be dry and WAY too much corn pudding. And I burned my hand. What have I done.
