OT: This country is doomed

[The Spin Meister]

Was reading recipe in a newspaper and one of the ingredients was frozen green grapes.. At the end of the list of ingredients was the following;

Note To make frozen green grapes, place green grapes in a freezer

I kid you not. If we are so dumbed down that that direction was necessary.....We. Are. Doomed.

 

[demlion]

Was reading recipe in a newspaper and one of the ingredients was frozen green grapes.. At the end of the list of ingredients was the following;

Note To make frozen green grapes, place green grapes in a freezer

I kid you not. If we are so dumbed down that that direction was necessary.....We. Are. Doomed.

I think they assume anyone who is still reading a print newspaper in 2017 needed things dumbed down for them.

 

[BobPSU92]

Oh. I thought frozen green was the color.

 

[LuvDaLions]

If you think that's bad, there was a mom in Texas who wanted to know if the solar eclipse that's happening on August 21 could be rescheduled. Apparently, that is the first day of school and she wanted it moved to the weekend so the kids didn't miss it while they were in school.

https://www.romper.com/p/this-mom-w...lar-eclipse-the-reactions-are-hilarious-75887

 

[psuro]

How many people know who is buried in Grant's tomb?

 

[Art]

Well, at least I won't feel so stupid when I read a cocktail recipe that calls for peach shrub without an accompanying note on how to make it.

 

[LionJim]

If you think that's bad, there was a mom in Texas who wanted to know if the solar eclipse that's happening on August 21 could be rescheduled. Apparently, that is the first day of school and she wanted it moved to the weekend so the kids didn't miss it while they were in school.

https://www.romper.com/p/this-mom-w...lar-eclipse-the-reactions-are-hilarious-75887

We have each seen our share of wow-inspiring feats of stupidity. Mine, which I still shake my head over: I offered to get a neighbor something from the liquor store and he asked for two bottles of Thunderbird wine. He seemed excessively excited about the opportunity to partake in this vile connotation. I was taken aback because he had never struck me as being a Thunderbird or Wild Irish Rose connoisseur, but, no skin off my nose, did as he requested. Next day, he's ashen white, hanging onto the side of his bed, puking his guts out with a fervor motivated by a desire to not die right then and there. "Philip, why did ask for that disgusting bottle of wino wine?" Philip looked at me as if I were the wino myself and he was this guy:

"Jim, many people think that Thunderbirds are much better cars than Cadillacs."

Swear to God.

 

[CF LION]

Early in her career my wife worked for a forensic economics firm. They basically calculated damages in lawsuits and served as expert witnesses. One case she worked on(for the defense) was a guy suing a lawnmower company because he used it to trim his hedges ( by lifting it up to shear the hedge top). He was suing because there was no label warning of that potential danger.

 

[Colorado Man]

Was reading recipe in a newspaper and one of the ingredients was frozen green grapes.. At the end of the list of ingredients was the following;

Note To make frozen green grapes, place green grapes in a freezer

I kid you not. If we are so dumbed down that that direction was necessary.....We. Are. Doomed.

Gee, no video? That is the biggest dumbing. They should have shown them how to put the grapes into the freezer. Kids in this country wonder why do I have to learn to read? Everything is either verbal or video.

 

[Gnat91]

I'd just Google how to make frozen grape's during my down time between Facebook and Twitter . And it better be a short video cuz I'm not wasting Time to Make grapes when I could be posting about making grapes

 

[BBrown]

Well, at least I won't feel so stupid when I read a cocktail recipe that calls for peach shrub without an accompanying note on how to make it.

You may not feel "stupid" but you do lose man points for making a drink that has "peach shrub" in it.
Unless of course you are making it for a female friend while you do a Manhattan.

 

[Chickenman Testa]

We need an EMP attack. Send everyone back to 1840 technologically and watch hipsters and another nonessential folks (e.g. Goldman Sachs execs) die in droves.

 

[NittPicker]

It's been going on for awhile now. When I was a kid in the 70s my neighbor bought a gory Halloween make-up kit to cover an eye and make it look like it was bloody and mangled. The instructions started by saying to place the first piece over the right eye. It then went on to give the steps to complete the process. At the end it said something to the effect of, "Note: the patch can also be placed over the left eye": Duh.....

 

[BBrown]

Was reading recipe in a newspaper and one of the ingredients was frozen green grapes.. At the end of the list of ingredients was the following;

Note To make frozen green grapes, place green grapes in a freezer

I kid you not. If we are so dumbed down that that direction was necessary.....We. Are. Doomed.

LOL. Ok here is the one I saw today.
Its for the semi-new parking system at BWI.
Its a red light/green light system.
So here are the instructions:
• Simply look for the electronic sign showing you how many open space are on each level (ok good so far).
• Drive up to the level of your choice and a digital sign at the end of each aisle will tell you how many open
spaces in that aisle. (Gotcha seems pretty straight forward)
• Turn down an Isle with available spaces and look for a green light above a parking space. (still right there with ya).
• A Green Light means the space is open (mmmm Ok..)
• A Red Light means a space is occupied. (yea the vehicle parked in that space pretty much gave it away).

 

[LafayetteBear]

Oh. I thought frozen green was the color.

No. To quote Charlton Heston, "Frozen Green is people!"

 

[LionJim]

You may not feel "stupid" but you do loose man points for making a drink that has "peach shrub" in it.
Unless of course you are making it for a female friend while you do a Manhattan.

I was about to say.

 

[JR4PSU]

If you think that's bad, there was a mom in Texas who wanted to know if the solar eclipse that's happening on August 21 could be rescheduled. Apparently, that is the first day of school and she wanted it moved to the weekend so the kids didn't miss it while they were in school.

https://www.romper.com/p/this-mom-w...lar-eclipse-the-reactions-are-hilarious-75887

Yeah, let me get on that for her.

 

[JR4PSU]

How many people know who is buried in Grant's tomb?

Well, Grant doesn't know. So that's one.

 

[JR4PSU]

If you think that's bad, there was a mom in Texas who wanted to know if the solar eclipse that's happening on August 21 could be rescheduled. Apparently, that is the first day of school and she wanted it moved to the weekend so the kids didn't miss it while they were in school.

https://www.romper.com/p/this-mom-w...lar-eclipse-the-reactions-are-hilarious-75887

I used to work for a company that did a lot of CAD for the design of underground electric utilities. Well, I was walking by one CAD operator that was holding a ruler up against the screen measuring a line on the screen. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was making sure this one line was 1 ft long. I said, Okay, and walked around the corner and just busted my gut laughing.

I hope I don't have to explain this to anyone.

 

[NittPicker]

I used to work for a company that did a lot of CAD for the design of underground electric utilities. Well, I was walking by one CAD operator that was holding a ruler up against the screen measuring a line on the screen. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was making sure this one line was 1 ft long. I said, Okay, and walked around the corner and just busted my gut laughing.

I hope I don't have to explain this to anyone.

Makes sense. We all know ratios on a screen are always 1:1. That's why Google Maps is such a pain in the ass to use.

 

[Victor E. Bell]

An old co-worker of mine told me he was having a sip with his girlfriend and some of her friends at a gin mill someplace. One was starting a new job and thought it would serve her well to learn Spanish. Someone mentioned the "Rosetta Stone" lessons that are always advertised on the radio. The friend pipes up and says "Oh yes, she's great! She's a wonderful teacher!"

 

[psuro]

I did so

Makes sense. We all know ratios on a screen are always 1:1. That's why Google Maps is such a pain in the ass to use.

I keep looking for the little faceless man standing in front of the address I want to go to. But, he is never there. I guess he must have gone to help someone else.

 

[marisa45]

I didnt know freezing grapes made them green.

 

[Woodpecker]

Was reading recipe in a newspaper and one of the ingredients was frozen green grapes.. At the end of the list of ingredients was the following;

Note To make frozen green grapes, place green grapes in a freezer

I kid you not. If we are so dumbed down that that direction was necessary.....We. Are. Doomed.

Wait, wait, wait, slow down! You're getting WAY ahead of things. How do I get my purple grapes to turn green? First things first.

You may not feel "stupid" but you do lose man points for making a drink that has "peach shrub" in it.
Unless of course you are making it for a female friend while you do a Manhattan.

I thought "peach shrub" was a euphemism.

 

[Art]

You may not feel "stupid" but you do lose man points for making a drink that has "peach shrub" in it.
Unless of course you are making it for a female friend while you do a Manhattan.

Well, what else...or did I need to draw you a picture at the end of that post?

 

[wex18]

Years ago, before the Internet, the newspaper I worked for was boycotted briefly by a teachers union that objected to an editorial.

The school's wrestling coach called and asked if he could just get the sports section delivered.

 

[Mack_Daddy]

Was reading recipe in a newspaper and one of the ingredients was frozen green grapes.. At the end of the list of ingredients was the following;

Note To make frozen green grapes, place green grapes in a freezer

I kid you not. If we are so dumbed down that that direction was necessary.....We. Are. Doomed.

Change "this country" to Humanity, then you're spot on. Keep on preachin' my brother.

 

[Victor E. Bell]

We need an EMP attack. Send everyone back to 1840 technologically and watch hipsters and another nonessential folks (e.g. Goldman Sachs execs) die in droves.

I had another co-worker who has said more than once that eventually the Amish will one day rule the world.

 

[johnmpsu]

Makes sense. We all know ratios on a screen are always 1:1. That's why Google Maps is such a pain in the ass to use.

“I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.”
Steven Wright

 

[BBrown]

“I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.”
Steven Wright

Steven Wright always cracks me up.
Thanks for that.

 

[Chickenman Testa]

I had another co-worker who has said more than once that eventually the Amish will one day rule the world.

One Second After is an interesting book about an EMP attack on the US. Things would get ugly quick.

It would make an awesome movie

 

[BBrown]

One Second After is an interesting book about an EMP attack on the US. Things would get ugly quick.

It would make an awesome movie

That is an excellent book and pretty scary.
The only thing I disagree with is....(spoiler alert)......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
It took a couple of months for society to deteriorate
I think it would take about 2 days now.

Seriously though that is an excellent summer read and highly recommend it.
There is a Sequal but I didn't like it nearly as much.
Netflix should pick this up and another book I'd like to see Netflix pick up is
Boy's Life by Robert McCammon. It would be an excellent lead in to Stranger Things.

 

[The Spin Meister]

I think they assume anyone who is still reading a print newspaper in 2017 needed things dumbed down for them.

----
Hey snarky boy..... I love the smell of the paper. And getting ink all over my hands is awesome. Plus, I feel so good about myself when I box it up, load it into the car, drive to the drop off point, and recycle it IN THE RAIN!

Now stay the hell off my lawn, you whipper snapper!

 

[Ct. Lion]

How many people know who is buried in Grant's tomb?

Back in the 1950s there was a show titled "You Bet Your Life" with Groucho Marx which was a quiz show of sorts. When a contestant could not answer any of the questions the Grants Tomb question was the last question asked and some got it wrong.
Yes, I watched the show every week, there wasn't much on in those days.

 

[LionJim]

----
Hey snarky boy..... I love the smell of the paper. And getting ink all over my hands is awesome. Plus, I feel so good about myself when I box it up, load it into the car, drive to the drop off point, and recycle it IN THE RAIN!

Now stay the hell off my lawn, you whipper snapper!

Whippersnapper, one word. But what can one expect from a Spurs fan?

 

[The Spin Meister]

Whippersnapper, one word. But what can one expect from a Spurs fan?

--
Spurs fan??? Where'd you get that?

 

[wbcincy]

Was reading recipe in a newspaper and one of the ingredients was frozen green grapes.. At the end of the list of ingredients was the following;

Note To make frozen green grapes, place green grapes in a freezer

I kid you not. If we are so dumbed down that that direction was necessary.....We. Are. Doomed.

Jim Gaffigan had a bit about how dumb we are for buying bottled water. At one point, he pretends to turn the bottle around, "hey a recipe...ohhhh, that's how you make ice cubes."

 

[joeparules]

Several years ago I bought a cheap router for my home PC. Step 14 of the setup instructions said "If you are able to view the website of your choice, congratulations you are connected to the Internet". Step 15 was "If not, please check our website (www.glink.com) for troubleshooting".

Swear to God.

 

[RandyL]

I had another co-worker who has said more than once that eventually the Amish will one day rule the world.

There is an old saying...God made the Amish to rule the world. Then made whiskey so they couldn't.

Oh wait, sorry...that was the Irish.

 

[L.T. Young]

----
Hey snarky boy..... I love the smell of the paper. And getting ink all over my hands is awesome. Plus, I feel so good about myself when I box it up, load it into the car, drive to the drop off point, and recycle it IN THE RAIN!

Now stay the hell off my lawn, you whipper snapper!

I read through this whole thread to ask you to check the date on it to see if was printed this century, but this post killed it.

I commend you on keeping your ritual. It's easy to get sucked into the online news cycle which inevitably leads to a more myopic view of the world.