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OT: Wife is out of town...

Ranger Dan

Ranger Dan

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Aug 31, 2003
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York PA
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
 
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Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
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OMG. This thread is going to lead to trouble. LOL
 
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Victor E. Bell said:
locks every window and door in the house
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Mine likes to lock everything too... I've got her comfortable with leaving the first floor doors unlocked while we are there, but she still insists on keeping the door to our walk out basement locked at all times. Apparently, this is where the bogey man prefers to enter the house.
 
Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
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When the cat's away, the rats will play.
 
Victor E. Bell said:
Mine locks every window and door in the house even when we're home. Thinks the boogeyman is going to crawl through a casement window. For kicks when she's away I don't lock every window opening.

Mine's going away tonight too. Let's go get ripped.
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Good times!
 
Ranger Dan said:
Mine likes to lock everything too... I've got her comfortable with leaving the first floor doors unlocked while we are there, but she still insists on keeping the door to our walk out basement locked at all times. Apparently, this is where the bogey man prefers to enter the house.
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Part of the problem is she watches every stupid ghost show and haunted house program on television. She thinks locking everything keeps the ghosts away but I told her it's not going to help.
 
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End to end sports on TV. Getting Stuff done around the house with minimum "supervision". Eating bad food. American Heros Channel. naked and afraid, survivorman, dumb and dumber, body heat, and someone mentioned before risky business (but ends up being closer to the movie 'her'.
 
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Well, I did use such opportunities to show my support for "Modern Interpretative Dance" as done with minimal clothing and creative use of a pole.

However, discovery of these visits and associated costs DID NOT go well. I can't say that many wives are okay with it. Better to surf the channels or the internet.
 
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If your wife doesn't review your credit card bills, whip one out and go to one of those "meet local girls who want to..." sites.

Char_28064.jpg



Nya ha ha, now I've got you in me clutches!
 
Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
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Should start the evening with a little prayer & religion in case you go overboard and critically injure yourself.

Possibly begin the evening's pleasure with Mr. Simons96's "flying nun" the nun is best enlarged..so click the pic
oh aunt may . . .

Sally-Field-6.jpg


31 simons96, Yesterday at 10:37 PM
 
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Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
Click to expand...
When my wife is gone, no matter how I spend my time during those days, I always make sure I take time before she returns to clean the house, do the laundry, wash the car, cut the grass....
While it's a pain in the arse, the payoff is enormous on many, many levels.
115502_th.gif
 
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fairgambit said:
When my wife is gone, no matter how I spend my time during those days, I always make sure I take time before she returns to clean the house, do the laundry, wash the car, cut the grass....
While it's a pain in the arse, the payoff is enormous on many, many levels.
115502_th.gif
Click to expand...
Well...while you're at it Illinois, try rearranging all of the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I know a chap that did that with good intent. Amazingly, the dumba$$ is still ailve.
 
Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
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Is this really austinnit's wife in disguise?
 
step.eng69 said:
Am I correctly reading into your signature ILLINOISLION.. did Bailey pass on Valentine's Day this year, if so I'm sorry for you.
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Yes, I unfortunately had to put her to sleep on Valentine's Day.....one of the hardest days of my life.

But the good news: I have a new addition that was born 48 hours after Bailey's passing.....from the same rescue organization (Guardian Angel Basset Rescue, Dwight, IL). A litter of six, all named after Happy Day's characters. There were 42 applications for the six puppies, I was blessed and ended up with Fonzie, the runt of the litter. He's been with me since 4/25/15. Had completely forgotten everything there was to know about raising a puppy.....Fonzie's teaching me, I'm just a very slow learner.

Thanks for your thoughts re: Bailey, they are appreciated.
 
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ILLINOISLION said:
Yes, I unfortunately had to put her to sleep on Valentine's Day.....one of the hardest days of my life.

But the good news: I have a new addition that was born 48 hours after Bailey's passing.....from the same rescue organization (Guardian Angel Basset Rescue, Dwight, IL). A litter of six, all named after Happy Day's characters. There were 42 applications for the six puppies, I was blessed and ended up with Fonzie, the runt of the litter. He's been with me since 4/25/15. Had completely forgotten everything there was to know about raising a puppy.....Fonzie's teaching me, I'm just a very slow learner.

Thanks for your thoughts re: Bailey, they are appreciated.
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That's terrific LOL about puppy Fonzie
 
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Nittany Ziggy said:
If you come home with a wart on your di@k, just say you got it in the whirlpool. :cool:
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LOL Mr. Ziggy, you bring back a few memories which I forgot about in the 70’s. My wife took me by the ear to the ER one weekend. A very embarrassing moment in the emergency room of Poly Clinic..doctors poking & questioning me about the large canker sore on the staff and so on.
 
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fairgambit said:
When my wife is gone, no matter how I spend my time during those days, I always make sure I take time before she returns to clean the house, do the laundry, wash the car, cut the grass....
While it's a pain in the arse, the payoff is enormous on many, many levels.
115502_th.gif
Click to expand...

^^^ THIS is how its done.
I don't know what it is about women coming home to a spotless, organized house. Payoffs indeed.
 
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Well with two toddlers I am pretty much up to my eyeballs in insanity! LOL!

I do try to keep the house nice, and cleanup before she gets home.

Ro - that is why I divorced the first wife, and was a requirement that #2 not have. I must say marriage #2 has been a breeze.
 
Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
Click to expand...

Naps.
 
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Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
Click to expand...

This is your chance to wear all her clothes around the house. I mean, only if that's your kind of thing. I don't know you at all, so I'm not presuming anything.
 
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Ranger Dan said:
My wife is out of town for a few days and while I love her, I also cherish being able to be a bachelor again for a short period of time (I certainly don't want to go back to that life permanently). Are there things that you guys do when your significant other is out of town that you can't typically do when she is around? I guess there is a wide range of things... anywhere from drinking milk right out of the jug, to watching porn in the middle of the afternoon come to mind. For me, it's eating a lot of seafood (my wife hates it, including the smell when I cook it). I just wondered if there were any guilty (or not so guilty) pleasures that you guys take advantage of when your significant other is away.
Click to expand...

welp if your up for a drive I am going to my friends distillery right outside of doylestown... live music/ great food trucks/ hand crafted spirits and shares the building with a micro brewery... join us!
 
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Sviatoslav said:
women coming home to a spotless, organized house
Click to expand...

Two issues with this... first, my wife would wonder what I was trying to hide or make up for (see Ziggy and Royboy's posts above) and then she'd expect me to do that all of the time.

I will "straighten up" appropriately, make sure all of my dishes and laundry are done, but I draw the line at real, honest to goodness cleaning.
 
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I usually enjoy the freedom for a night or two and then get lonely. What I really prefer is when my kids go to the grandparents for a week so the wife and I can have plenty of adult time
 
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