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OT: Wife is out of town...

Yes, something like that....or naked twister!!!!

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A few years back, during the downturn, I was "between jobs" and doing some "consulting." Customers were hard to find. My wife went on a cruise with her girlfriends that had been booked well in advance. I had freedom but not a lot of cash. I decided to provide her with a surprise by going up to her dad's and taking care of some much needed handy work. This included painting his downstairs workshop, putting new light fixtures in the workshop, caulking the windows in the workshop and putting in a new railing along his stairway. I worked about 12 hours the first day of my "freedom" and stopped at the bottle shop on the way home and bought a case of my favorite Belgian golden ale (Duvel) in those fancy 750ml corked bottles. I went home that night with a pizza and my precious ale and watched 2 James Bond movies from the DVD Box Set that my wife bought me for Christmas.

This became my ritual for the next 4 days. I performed the chores listed above, kicked a case of expensive Belgian brew and watched 10 James Bond movies during that time. My wife only asked me to take care of the new flowers in the vase in the kitchen and those by the mailbox. I took care of the mailbox flowers each morning when I went out to get yesterday's mail. The ones in the vase were completely ignored as it was going to be much easier to buy new ones the day before she came home.

One problem: I thought she was coming home on Friday but she came home on Thursday. While the place was not a pig sty, there was a case of empty Duvel "soldiers" adjacent to the coffee table in the man cave along with an empty pizza box. There was an ash tray filled with cigar butts on the back patio table and a huge vase of dry, dead flowers on the kitchen counter. I came home Thursday exhausted with 3 fresh Duvel's ready for more James Bond when the shit hit the fan!!!

I allowed her to give me the ear drum beating and took it in stride. I went out to the back porch and lit a stogie. We slept in separate rooms that night. The next day, I was up early and went to the gym and ran errands. She went up to see her father (who is in his late 80's at the time and living solo). He told her what a champ I was and how I busted my a$$ for four days at least 10 hours each. I went to the pub after running my errands so that I was sure she was home when I came home feeling a little good.

She couldn't seperate me from my clothes fast enough when I got in the door!!!! ;)

That is such a better memory than the "Whirlpool Story" from a few years prior!!!! :cool:
 
LOL Mr. Ziggy, you bring back a few memories which I forgot about in the 70’s. My wife took me by the ear to the ER one weekend. A very embarrassing moment in the emergency room of Poly Clinic..doctors poking & questioning me about the large canker sore on the staff and so on.
I got it riding a tractor honey!!
 
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There's always 976-SEXX numbers you can spend money on while some ho on the other end rants obscenities at you.
 
Last two times my wife went out of town with the little one, I proved I'm aging. I watched stupid movies, played video games, ate poorly and drank well. All by myself at home. And it was fantastic.

Also Ranger Dan, you anywhere near Dillsburg?
 
Get a bottle of Absolute, some limes, some Tonic, roll a fat one and invite your wife's best girl friends over. Have a party. Rock the House.
 
Whirlpool Story

Did your wife believe the whirlpool story?

Great story about helping out your father in law... I plan on having the flower beds free of all weeds when my wife returns. This was something we were going to tackle the weekend after she got back.
 
Did your wife believe the whirlpool story?

Great story about helping out your father in law... I plan on having the flower beds free of all weeds when my wife returns. This was something we were going to tackle the weekend after she got back.
Good Man Dan with the flowers. There really never was a whirlpool story. I just wanted stepeng to feel a little better about himself.
 
My buddy opened a pizza shop in Dillsburg

I get over to that area every once in a while. In fact I'll be not far away from there tomorrow AM, but not having lunch there. What's your buddy's name and the name of the pizza shop? If I stop in, who should I say said hi?
 
I get over to that area every once in a while. In fact I'll be not far away from there tomorrow AM, but not having lunch there. What's your buddy's name and the name of the pizza shop? If I stop in, who should I say said hi?

Guy's name is Pete Picciurro. He owns Nonno's Original Italian Pizza (OIP) in Dillsburg. One of my closest friends growing up, you can tell him Will from Shawnee Hills says hi.

Pete is the second guy from the left, his wife next to him and two kids in front (and sister Jess on their right):
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So, let's see....at this point Ranger Dan has been advised to eat and drink to his heart's content, do chores without being told, smoke copious amounts of weed with his wife's best friends.

Oh, and apparently has been asked out by a couple of different BWI posters.

Dan - sounds like you are going to have an awesome time when your wife is out of town.
 
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