break up etiquette

[zwick99]

At the beginning of summer I invited one of my friends and his girlfriend to visit my vacation house for a weekend. I am equal friends with both of them. They were going to visit the end of Sept. My house is available either of the last two weekends. I spoke with both of them in the last few weeks and everything was cool.

Last week I learned they broke up. WTF? It creates a weird situation. Should I just pretend I did not invite them? Should I now invite them to each bring someone else on two different weekends or come by themselves?

I am kind of hoping they don't want to come but the invite was already extended.

 

[ILLINOISLION]

Personally I'd invite ILLINOISLION and Fonzie, but that's just me.

Possibly wait to hear from either or both, if they still want to come by themselves or with someone else, the first one gets the choice of the two weekends. The friend may not be cool with you staying friends with his now -ex girlfriend.....or vice-versa.....just a heads up.

GOOD LUCK!

 

[mn78psu83]

At the beginning of summer I invited one of my friends and his girlfriend to visit my vacation house for a weekend. I am equal friends with both of them. They were going to visit the end of Sept. My house is available either of the last two weekends. I spoke with both of them in the last few weeks and everything was cool.

Last week I learned they broke up. WTF? It creates a weird situation. Should I just pretend I did not invite them? Should I now invite them to each bring someone else on two different weekends or come by themselves?

I am equal friends with both of them. Most likely, you "were" equal friends with both of them." At least, that's what my personal experience would tell me. Not being a jerk here. It's just sometimes a practical outcome of being friends with people who break up or divorce. I would say the ball is in each of their courts. They should have the courtesy to let you know what their plans are, especially with respect to the weekend each would like to visit. I have a hunch that at least one of them will back out of the visit. Good luck.

 

[manatree]

If you've reached the point where you're asking us knuckleheads for relationship advice, you're screwed.

 

[mn78psu83]

If you've reached the point where you're asking us knuckleheads for relationship advice, you're screwed.

That is a fair point.

 

[psuro]

What does she look like?

 

[Tom McAndrew]

If you've reached the point where you're asking us knuckleheads for relationship advice, you're screwed.

While this board is an amazing resource, and the OP may yet get some sound advice, that was an excellent response. Gave me a chuckle, and those have been lacking of late from this board.

 

[Obliviax]

Clearly you pull the invite for him and get her to your vacation house. The rebound sex will be fantastic.

Seriously, call the one you are closest to (tie breaker, one you've known longer, tie breaker two, the one you'd like to continue to be friends with more) and ask their advice. If they want the house, call #2 and nicely pull the offer in light of things. If they don't, call #2 and tell them they are still invited.

If you are uncomfortable with that, call both of them and pull the offer in light of recent events but offer an alternative date.

 

[mn78psu83]

What does she look like?

The surefire way to lose one of them as a friend.

 

[psuro]

The surefire way to lose one of them as a friend.

Hopefully the ugly one.

 

[Marshall30]

Beat both of them up.

 

[udsig91]

"Bros before whoes!"

Unless she is hot...

 

[sluggo72]

10-1 they get back together within the week, especially if she is hot.

 

[john4psu]

Fair questions I'd consider:
- How long were they a couple?
- How serious were they?
- Do you have any interest in her?
- If so, how would your male friend feel about that?
- How hot is she? The hotter she is the less time for a male to go for a male friend's ex. There's some man law about that.
- Hope they come over different dates.

 

[91Joe95]

If you've reached the point where you're asking us knuckleheads for relationship advice, you're screwed.

Hey now, it worked out OK for Austin.

 

[ILLINOISLION]

Funny how ALL the responses automatically assumed that the OP should or might pursue the female friend not the male friend ("not that there's anything wrong with that").

This is a new world, a new age, old stereotypes no longer exist (except in our old conditioned minds).

 

[bmw199]

If you've reached the point where you're asking us knuckleheads for relationship advice, you're screwed.

Been here.

 

[LafayetteBear]

What does she look like?

LOL, is ANYONE surprised by this post?

 

[Obliviax]

Funny how ALL the responses automatically assumed that the OP should or might pursue the female friend not the male friend ("not that there's anything wrong with that").

This is a new world, a new age, old stereotypes no longer exist (except in our old conditioned minds).

Great catch.....Let me re-respond: Whoever had the bigger package.

 

[The Spin Meister]

At the beginning of summer I invited one of my friends and his girlfriend to visit my vacation house for a weekend. I am equal friends with both of them. They were going to visit the end of Sept. My house is available either of the last two weekends. I spoke with both of them in the last few weeks and everything was cool.

Last week I learned they broke up. WTF? It creates a weird situation. Should I just pretend I did not invite them? Should I now invite them to each bring someone else on two different weekends or come by themselves?

I am kind of hoping they don't want to come but the invite was already extended.

---------
As a fellow Penn Stater I will volunteer to come down the weekend that the female is there as she will need some tender consoling. (I am assuming she is hot since all Tom McAndrew board members would only have hot female friends) That way, you can spend quality time with your male friend and keep that important male-bonding thing going. No need to thank me, its just what fellow Penn Staters do.

PS: Where is vacation home? Not that would have anything to do with decision to actually follow up on offer.

 

[cjrugger]

Its a tough situation to give advice for without seeing a picture of the girl

 

[nagromth]

Hey wait, my girlfriend and I just broke up and we were supposed to go to my friend's vacation house at the end of Sept. Is this who I think it is?

Just kidding dude! , yes they's a new times, what do you value in your friends, honesty, communication, trust, social blogging. Have fun, take it easy, it will work out ok.

 

[Bygsky]

I am equal friends with both of them. Most likely, you "were" equal friends with both of them." At least, that's what my personal experience would tell me. Not being a jerk here. It's just sometimes a practical outcome of being friends with people who break up or divorce. I would say the ball is in each of their courts. They should have the courtesy to let you know what their plans are, especially with respect to the weekend each would like to visit. I have a hunch that at least one of them will back out of the visit. Good luck.

It depends who gets you in the breakup agreement.

Now the next important question...is she hot?

 

[Westcoast24]

Funny how ALL the responses automatically assumed that the OP should or might pursue the female friend not the male friend ("not that there's anything wrong with that").

This is a new world, a new age, old stereotypes no longer exist (except in our old conditioned minds).

Both my dads agree with this post.

 

[Peetz Pool Boy]

Wow! So many opinions, but so few facts.

Fact(s)

(1) poster has a vacation house (allegedly)
​

Unknowns

(1) is OP single or married?
(2) is Op interested, romantically, in either friend?
(3) is this vacation house even worth visiting?
​

 

[Peetz Pool Boy]

Both my dads agree with this post.

You can't just have two plain Dads....one has to be a "he Dad" and one has to be a "she Dad"

 

[tgar]

What does she look like?

Yeah, exactly, is she hot? Please don't overthink this.