Need advice-Taking my son to college...

[Hugh Manatee]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

 

[demlion]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

I dont have any sons, but this made me laugh: "keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc..." He will learn that slowly, if he has always been a messy kid. He will learn it from his roommates, or not at all.

He will be alright, Dad. He will be lost for a while. All part of the foraging process.

 

[PSU87]

I dont have any sons, but this made me laugh: "keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc..." He will learn that slowly, if he has always been a messy kid. He will learn it from his roommates, or not at all.

He will be alright, Dad. He will be lost for a while. All part of the foraging process.

Exactly.
My room wasn't clean in college, I certainly don't expect his to be.
One thing that has sunk in is money management. I told him tuition, books room and board are paid everything else is yours. You want to go to the movies, that's on you. He's gone from horrible at managing money to pretty decent.

 

[OhioLion]

My son's room here at home is an absolute pig sty. Horrible beyond anything I ever had. We tired of telling him to keep it cleaned up.
Now, he's the one upset with his roommate for not keeping the dorm room clean. He bought a swiffer on his own to use in the room. Told his roomie that after they come back from Christmas, he will start keeping the room clean or my son will take charge of cleaning (and tossing things from) his side of the room.
Laundry. Mom helped him a month or so prior to leaving. Best line to give is "when in doubt, wash in cold".
My son and his roommate do not get along. My son is all about sports, particularly CFB. His roommate had "heard of" Saquon Barkley.

Your son will adjust. VERY MUCH encourage him to reach out to meet people. I could talk to the dead. I'm outgoing and can converse with anyone and everyone. My father was the same. My son? Not at all. Four closest friends he has after one semester at Grand Valley State University are four girls from the floor. Oy Vey. Changed his major already from exercise science to secondary science education - so be prepared for that conversation. I would bet good money my son is back to 50 minutes from home next year at Bowling Green State University. Many friends there. I would rather he grew as a person making new connections, but.....
Hopefully, your son is more outgoing than mine.

Don't worry. Kids seem to be much more able to adapt then we realize (aside from the friend making, my son does laundry every week and seems to be adjusting).

OL

 

[fairgambit]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

Forget about the mundane tasks of daily living. Three rules. Study hard, stay sober, and keep your pecker in your pants.

 

[BobPSU92]

Have you had “the talk” with your son?

 

[psuro]

Tell him that he better get along with his roommate because you are changing the locks on the house. And there aren’t enough keys.

 

[cvilleelkscoach]

Forensic science? Tell him to leave the dead bodies in the lab.

 

[JJTopp99]

Well, FWIW, I had four different roommates (counting two summer terms I attended). Our dorm rooms and apartments were never messy.

All my roommates were engineering majors. I'm not sure if there is a correlation there though, lol, it just worked out that way.

 

[LionJim]

Just tell him to study every day and to watch how much he drinks.

 

[loosey goosey]

That's the beauty of moving off to college.Learning how to navigate your young life.

 

[LionLen]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

You're thinking about this now? If you're worried about it you're a little late.

 

[mrtailgate]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

One suggestion. Tell him to see each of his teachers each week. You know they hate doing that. Tell him you want some output showing he’s done it. It will be invaluable to his studies as well as developing useful contacts. I told my son to ask the teachers to give him a problem (if applicable) or to ask him a question that he could respond to via email with them which (i) gives you evidence he is visiting with them, and (ii) showing his grasp of his subjects. I told my son that teachers will eventually start revealing their hand in that there are only so many questions to ask on exams and he will gain valuable insight into the teachers approach for exam questions. The teachers will also be THRILLED with his interest level.

The secondary point is that if he feels comfortable doing that he will feel that much more comfortable with making new relationships and talking to people he doesn’t know.

 

[LionJim]

One suggestion. Tell him to see each of his teachers each week. You know they hate doing that. Tell him you want some output showing he’s done it. It will be invaluable to his studies as well as developing useful contacts. I told my son to ask the teachers to give him a problem (if applicable) or to ask him a question that he could respond to via email with them which (i) gives you evidence he is visiting with them, and (ii) showing his grasp of his subjects. I told my son that teachers will eventually start revealing their hand in that there are only so many questions to ask on exams and he will gain valuable insight into the teachers approach for exam questions. The teachers will also be THRILLED with his interest level.

The secondary point is that if he feels comfortable doing that he will feel that much more comfortable with making new relationships and talking to people he doesn’t know.

Yes, in other words, act as if he was already a forensic scientist.

 

[Woodpecker]

Forget about the mundane tasks of daily living. Three rules. Study hard, stay sober, and keep your pecker in your pants.

Just tell him to study every day and to watch how much he drinks.

Fair, Jim doesn't seem to think much of your third rule.

 

[LurkerLazarus]

Condoms. Lots of condoms.

 

[rag195]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

My dad told me
Study hard
Hit hard
Watch the ball into your hands
Get up fast after a tough hit
Behave
Ask your grandfather for money
I’ll send you 10 bucks a week for girl money first 2 years
20 bucks per week next 2 years

My mom said
Be respectful to all the girls


Don’t come home until thanksgiving

Well see you play

God bless u
Be safe

 

[We Are . . .]

When my dad dropped me off at PSU many years ago he kept it simple: "Don't do anything stupid."

 

[eidolon21]

Most of the important stuff I learned in college, I didn't learn in the classroom.

 

[Frabjous]

The anagram of dormitory is ‘dirty room’.

 

[green2623]

Fair, Jim doesn't seem to think much of your third rule.

Look at his "handle".

 

[artsandletters]

Forget about the mundane tasks of daily living. Three rules. Study hard, stay sober, and keep your pecker in your pants.

Three reasons why Diane Lane would tell you to take a hike.

 

[PeetzPoolBoy]

Forget about the mundane tasks of daily living. Three rules. Study hard, stay sober, and keep your pecker in your pants.

One out of three ain't bad.

 

[paulrandythomas]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

Go to class.

 

[84_PSU_ADMJ]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

Day 1

 

[81b&w]

It's easy to be an umbrella parent these days but give him his wings. Yea, you just unleashed a testosterone producing machine, and he's gonna screw up, drink copious amounts of alcohol, and need an occasional abortion funded . Did you discuss trade schools with him?

 

[Pocono Lion]

Go to class.

My son just learned that lesson when he got his first semester grades.

 

[marshall23]

If there are any magic words or advice, I certainly never learned them. As a parent, at some point, I guess you have to trust that the things you tried to teach your kids are embedded in them somewhere. When my oldest son went off to college, I thought my world was coming to an end. However, both my sons have long since graduated and their careers have taken them to exotic locations like Albany NY, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Charlotte NC, Las Vegas and San Francisco. In the interim, my wife passed away. Now just to be together for the holiday, it takes logistics planning akin to the invasion of Normandy.
My best advice is to let them hear your voice or read your words every day. We have cells, email and text messages. I think daily contact will remind them you are there for them as well as holding high expectations for them. Oh, and pray!

 

[kps7987]

AS a parent of 2 kids who graduated from college and also a I was a kid who had a kid too young the best advice I would give is love your kid enough to care about their long term independence and well being. In doing so you have to give them a long leash and expect them to handle things on their own and just give guidance. Don't be upset if they don't take such advice and let them fail a little. One of the things I hear most is kids these days struggle to make friends in new environments due to lack of actual social interaction so encourage him to get out and meet people.

As someone with 20 years in law enforcement look closely at any degree which is law enforcement focused. My agency has our own forensic scientists however those that do not require a science background have to develop through the ranks and the type of degree does not matter at all. Our actual scientists do not have "Forensic Scientists" degrees but rather biology, chemistry or other focused science degrees. Forensic Science degree is colleges capitalizing on CSI type TV shows because colleges do not care if your degree is worthless as long as they get paid.

I say the same about a criminal justice degree because the application question they ask when wanting to be a police officer is "Do you have a degree" not whether it is in criminal justice. So get a non-criminal justice degree in case the law enforcement career does not work out you have a back up plan!

 

[Cosmos]

It's easy to be an umbrella parent these days but give him his wings. Yea, you just unleashed a testosterone producing machine, and he's gonna screw up, drink copious amounts of alcohol, and need an occasional abortion funded . Did you discuss trade schools with him?

After my freshman year dad discussed the "possibility" of me working my summer job fulltime. I replaced railroad tracks during the summer. It straightened me out right quick.

 

[AWS1022]

When my dad dropped me off at PSU many years ago he kept it simple: "Don't do anything stupid."

That’s word for word what I told my son.

 

[Aardvark86]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

He’ll do fine. In his own time.

I told my son to remember his abc’s and made a mini book as a reminder. Condensed version below. (You can of course make your own version, but you are welcome to crib).

A. Attend. Attend classes.
B. Better. Get one day better in whatever you do.
C. Clock. Tells you when to be somewhere, and equally as important, when not to.
D. Drama. Avoid drama queens
E. Embarrassment. Don’t be afraid of it as it Can be liberating.
F. For. Be for something and not just against something else. Understand why
G. Girls. Be respectful, and You’ll know the right one when you meet her, even if it is not in college.
H. Health. Take care of yourself.
I. Intramurals. Play them to meet friends
J. Joy. College is a great time. Be happy.
K. Koolaid. Don’t drink something if you don’t know what’s in it
L. Lectures. Attend free lectures on topics you don’t think interest you.
M. Mass. Go to church
N. November 9. Moms birthday.
O. Open. Be open minded.
P. Phone. Call home. It’s for more than the internet.
Q. Questions. Ask lots, especially hard ones.
R. Roommate. This is where you start to learn to get along.
S. Salad. Eat some vegetables.
T. Truth. It finds a way out. Always be honest.
U. Ugly babies. People hold their opinions strongly and you just have to accept that sometimes even when they are wrong.
V. Virginia. A beautiful campus and area.
W. Wash. Do laundry regularly.
X. X-ray. Try to avoid breaking any bones
Y. Yelling. The louder someone is the less they generally have to say.
Z. Zzzzz. Get some sleep.

 

[gogogoral]

 

[bkmtnittany1]

Son...."Your mother and I have no intention of being grandparents for at least 10 more years, get it!"

 

[katchthis]

Huh , forensic science. Isn't that a dead major ? He'll do fine dad, he will learn on the fly like most of us.

 

[Hugh Manatee]

Huh , forensic science. Isn't that a dead major ? He'll do fine dad, he will learn on the fly like most of us.

He wanted to be a Psychologist and I talked him out of it. Forensic Science interested him and was near the top of lists for future areas that won’t have enough professionals to staff. He breezed through chemistry in high school.

 

[Steve G]

I could use some feedback from the all knowing board... My son got into UCF and he moves into the Freshman dorms on the 5th. He is majoring in Forensic Science and is plenty smart enough to do well in his classes although the new Freedom may be an issue. What I worry about is his ability to live with roommates, keep his room clean, clean his own laundry, etc... We have asked him to pack for his move and he doesn’t seem to know where to start. He’s very much a deer in the headlights, although that may be a dad’s perception.

How did your son do when he started college? What did you tell him that sunk in?

Son just graduated Ga Tech with high honors in Mech E. So....
To late for learning the laundry, but my kids had to do their own with some coaching last year/ semester high school to get used to doing it. Boys laundry pretty easy, whites, towels/ sheets, everything else, cold is safest.
And the rules: don't get killed/ injured, don't get caught/ arrested, don't get pregnant. Go to class. Stay current with school work. Have fun

 

[rag195]

It's easy to be an umbrella parent these days but give him his wings. Yea, you just unleashed a testosterone producing machine, and he's gonna screw up, drink copious amounts of alcohol, and need an occasional abortion funded . Did you discuss trade schools with him?

“An occasional abortion funded”
This is what is wrong with our society
Bury our mistakes
Or
Just pay for it and all is right

Teach him to
Take responsibility for a mistake

If he gets drunk and knocks up some babe
He owns it!
And he becomes a dad

 

[TiredOldLion]

The only advice I remember giving was to tell him “don’t let your little soldier go out without his raincoat”.
I was just pulling his chain but seeing him blush and give me a “come on Dad!” was priceless.

I hope your son learns how to learn and finds whatever course of study. Where he starts and where he ends up maynot align as many here can share.

He’s responsible for lots of day to day tasks but you are still need to do the big parent responsibility. You need to talk or text about his schedule and his school work. Let him talk about social life. You need to control the money and make sure he doesn’t get into one of those credit card traps.

Good luck to your son. Good days are ahead.
y.

 

[Aardvark86]

Son just graduated Ga Tech with high honors in Mech E. So....
To late for learning the laundry, but my kids had to do their own with some coaching last year/ semester high school to get used to doing it. Boys laundry pretty easy, whites, towels/ sheets, everything else, cold is safest.
And the rules: don't get killed/ injured, don't get caught/ arrested, don't get pregnant. Go to class. Stay current with school work. Have fun

Ga. Tech. Impressive. Congrats.

May not know how to do laundry but can design the machine.