OT: All Time Worst Songs

[tallahasseelion]

A friend of mine owns an Irish pub. The sound system is on a computer which can access just about any song. One night the bartender was playing really awful songs (not intentional, he just happens to have really bad taste when it comes to music). So we decided that everyone (the regulars) should come with a list of what they consider to be the all time worst songs ever written. On a slow night (when it's mainly the regulars) we are going to rotate thru everyone's list and have a night of the worst songs ever. Should be fun. Here's my list but is subject to change, any suggestions?
5. The Jolly Green Giant - the Kingsmen
4. Smokey the Bar - Hank Thompson
3. Sugartown - Nancy Sinatra ( love the Tallahassee reference)
2. Surfing Bird - the Trashmen
1. I am a People - George Jones
And yes, it was hard to keep Yummy, Yummy off the list.

 

[Woodpecker]

DOA - Bloodrock

 

[LafayetteBear]

Afternoon Delight
I'm All Out of Love
Wake Me up before you Go Go

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

DOA - Bloodrock

XXL and Red Solo Cup - both country/pop songs. Pure trash.

 

[BGJeff]

Anything by Gilbert O'Sullivan (with all due respect to the venue).

 

[yeahtoasty]

It's tough to top The Buoys and their ode to cannibalism: Timothy

 

[Grant Green]

I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred

 

[doublehaul]

A friend of mine owns an Irish pub. The sound system is on a computer which can access just about any song. One night the bartender was playing really awful songs (not intentional, he just happens to have really bad taste when it comes to music). So we decided that everyone (the regulars) should come with a list of what they consider to be the all time worst songs ever written. On a slow night (when it's mainly the regulars) we are going to rotate thru everyone's list and have a night of the worst songs ever. Should be fun. Here's my list but is subject to change, any suggestions?
5. The Jolly Green Giant - the Kingsmen
4. Smokey the Bar - Hank Thompson
3. Sugartown - Nancy Sinatra ( love the Tallahassee reference)
2. Surfing Bird - the Trashmen
1. I am a People - George Jones
And yes, it was hard to keep Yummy, Yummy off the list.

Tighten Up by Archie Bell. My senior year in highschool. Yuk.

 

[Chickenman Testa]

XXL and Red Solo Cup - both country/pop songs. Pure trash.

That category of music almost has its own wing in the museum of music suckitude.

She thinks my tractor's sexy - fart noise

 

[fairgambit]

Tiny Bubbles by Don Ho.

 

[Grant Green]

My Girl Wants to Party All the Time
Eddie Murphy

 

[Lionguy32]

Bon Jovi - It's My Life - The lyrics to this song make Dr. Seuss look deep.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

That category of music almost has its own wing in the museum of music suckitude.

She thinks my tractor's sexy - fart noise

First couple versus of XXL...

Well Momma was exhausted after she had me,
it took two nurses to hold me, one nurse to slap me.
Doctor turned to momma and shook his head,
whiped the sweat off his brow, and then he said ,
"This boy is way off the charts, as far as I can tell,
ooo bpppp momma he's a double X L!"

By second grade I was 5' 2"!
By fifth grade I was wearing a size 12 shoe!
In eighth grade I was shopping at the, Big and Tall,
and the coaches had me playing High School football.
Uncle Roy said "Boy you'll make the NFL!
ooo bbppp son, you're a double XL!"

Double XL, Double XL!
Dont call me on the phone just ring my dinner bell.
Double XL Double XL!
Im a lean, mean, love machine that likes to be held,
ooo bbbppp baby Im a double XL!

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Bon Jovi - It's My Life - The lyrics to this song make Dr. Seuss look deep.

Dr. Seuss *is* deep.

 

[PSURebel]

Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey
Blue Christmas by Elvis
Honey by Bobby Goldsboro

 

[senatedon]

Your day will absolutely be ruined if you let either "It's a small world" or "Him" by Rupert Holmes get in your kitchen.

 

[PSURebel]

Afternoon Delight
I'm All Out of Love
Wake Me up before you Go Go

Ouch, Just saw Air Supply in concert and enjoyed it.

 

[Lionguy32]

And since it's Superbowl time.....

New England...The Patriots and We tied with the New York Giants - Pasadena We Can't Wait

 

[Chickenman Testa]

First couple versus of XXL...

Well Momma was exhausted after she had me,
it took two nurses to hold me, one nurse to slap me.
Doctor turned to momma and shook his head,
whiped the sweat off his brow, and then he said ,
"This boy is way off the charts, as far as I can tell,
ooo bpppp momma he's a double X L!"

By second grade I was 5' 2"!
By fifth grade I was wearing a size 12 shoe!
In eighth grade I was shopping at the, Big and Tall,
and the coaches had me playing High School football.
Uncle Roy said "Boy you'll make the NFL!
ooo bbppp son, you're a double XL!"

Double XL, Double XL!
Dont call me on the phone just ring my dinner bell.
Double XL Double XL!
Im a lean, mean, love machine that likes to be held,
ooo bbbppp baby Im a double XL!

How about this by Tim McGraw:

I'm an Indian outlaw
Half Cherokee and Choctaw
My baby she's a Chippewa
She's one of a kind
All my friends call me Bear Claw
The Village Cheaftin' is my paw-paw
He gets his orders from my maw-maw
She makes him walk the line
You can find me in my wigwam
I'll be beatin' on my tom-tom
Pull out the pipe and smoke you some
Hey and pass it around
'Cause I'm an Indian outlaw
Half Cherokee and Choctaw
My baby she's a Chippewa
She's one of a kind
I ain't lookin' for trouble
We can ride my pony double
Make your little heart bubble
Lord, Like a glass of wine
I remember the medicine man
He caught runnin' water in my hands
Drug me around by my headband
Said I wasn't her kind
Cause I'm an Indian outlaw
Half Cherokee and Choctaw
My baby she's a Chippewa
She's one of a kind

 

[psuro]

Jack and Diane by John Cougar Mellencamp; Just awful dreck...

People know my feelings on country music, so.....

My local bar has the same computer driven program - I have an app on my phone so I can play music from my chair. I pay $20 for 52 credits, and each song has a value (1 or 2 credits). If I am willing to use an extra credit, I can "bump" into the line and play my song ahead of someone else. A few weeks ago, I was really pissing off this guy who wanted to play country music, and I kept playing rock and hip hop just to irritate him. It was fun - he did not have the app so he could not figure out how he was getting bumped. Good times, gentleman, good times.

 

[GulfCoastLion]

From the 70s.

• Midnight at the Oasis. Maria Mauldar
• Seasons in the Sun. Terry Jacks
• The Night Chicago Died. Paper Lace
• 90% of the Disco music ever made. That's being conservative

 

[Locolion]

A friend of mine owns an Irish pub. The sound system is on a computer which can access just about any song. One night the bartender was playing really awful songs (not intentional, he just happens to have really bad taste when it comes to music). So we decided that everyone (the regulars) should come with a list of what they consider to be the all time worst songs ever written. On a slow night (when it's mainly the regulars) we are going to rotate thru everyone's list and have a night of the worst songs ever. Should be fun. Here's my list but is subject to change, any suggestions?
5. The Jolly Green Giant - the Kingsmen
4. Smokey the Bar - Hank Thompson
3. Sugartown - Nancy Sinatra ( love the Tallahassee reference)
2. Surfing Bird - the Trashmen
1. I am a People - George Jones
And yes, it was hard to keep Yummy, Yummy off the list.

Reunited - Peaches & Herb (puke)

 

[Lions8286]

You're Having My Baby - Paul Anka

Didn't have to keep it
Wouldn't put ya through it
You could have swept it from you life
But you wouldn't do it

 

[Judge Smails]

Bicycle - Queen
We Built This City - Starship
Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
The Heart of Rock and Roll - Huey Lewis
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

 

[fairgambit]

Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey
Blue Christmas by Elvis
Honey by Bobby Goldsboro

Honey? That song brings tears to my eyes (really). "One day when I was not at home, while she was there and all alone, the angels came." "Now my life's an empty stage, where Honey lived and Honey played, and love grew up." I love songs that tell a story and this one, about the death of a young wife, really gets to me. I'm a sentimental guy.

 

[Grant Green]

Bicycle - Queen
We Built This City - Starship
Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
The Heart of Rock and Roll - Huey Lewis
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

You just nailed 2 more on my list.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

How about this by Tim McGraw:

I'm an Indian outlaw
Half Cherokee and Choctaw
My baby she's a Chippewa
She's one of a kind
All my friends call me Bear Claw
The Village Cheaftin' is my paw-paw
He gets his orders from my maw-maw
She makes him walk the line
You can find me in my wigwam
I'll be beatin' on my tom-tom
Pull out the pipe and smoke you some
Hey and pass it around
'Cause I'm an Indian outlaw
Half Cherokee and Choctaw
My baby she's a Chippewa
She's one of a kind
I ain't lookin' for trouble
We can ride my pony double
Make your little heart bubble
Lord, Like a glass of wine
I remember the medicine man
He caught runnin' water in my hands
Drug me around by my headband
Said I wasn't her kind
Cause I'm an Indian outlaw
Half Cherokee and Choctaw
My baby she's a Chippewa
She's one of a kind

Holy sh*t.

 

[Nitwit]

Garden Party - Ricky Nelson

So bad that I dare you to watch it.

 

[polecat]

Buckeye Battle Cry

 

[h8ru]

From the 70s.

• Midnight at the Oasis. Maria Mauldar
• Seasons in the Sun. Terry Jacks
• The Night Chicago Died. Paper Lace
• 90% of the Disco music ever made. That's being conservative

you can add:

Ring My Bell, Anita Ward and ALL of disco.

 

[AWS1022]

Muskrat Love

 

[Grant Green]

How could I forget Rick Astley. You know the song....

 

[BGJeff]

Another ....
S A T U R D A Y Night - Bay City Rollers

 

[sluggo72]

Bicycle - Queen

Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

and yet it was nominated for Record of the Year and Song of the Year in the 35th Annual Grammy Awards in 1993

 

[LafayetteBear]

How could I forget Rick Astley. You know the song....

The whole "Rick Roll" thing rehabilitated this one just a bit, IMO. Still awful, but now there's some utility to its awfulness.

 

[MichaelJackSchmidt]

A friend of mine owns an Irish pub. The sound system is on a computer which can access just about any song. One night the bartender was playing really awful songs (not intentional, he just happens to have really bad taste when it comes to music). So we decided that everyone (the regulars) should come with a list of what they consider to be the all time worst songs ever written. On a slow night (when it's mainly the regulars) we are going to rotate thru everyone's list and have a night of the worst songs ever. Should be fun. Here's my list but is subject to change, any suggestions?
5. The Jolly Green Giant - the Kingsmen
4. Smokey the Bar - Hank Thompson
3. Sugartown - Nancy Sinatra ( love the Tallahassee reference)
2. Surfing Bird - the Trashmen
1. I am a People - George Jones
And yes, it was hard to keep Yummy, Yummy off the list.

Hail to the Victors

 

[anon_is9z1n0h3zblb]

Mickey by Toni Basil. My ears started to bleed just thinking about it.

 

[Obliviax]

Hail to the Victors
Buckeye Battle Cry
Victory March
Tribute to Troy

 

[Marshall30]

I'm 'Enery the EigthI am'.....

 

[Chickenman Testa]

Garden Party - Ricky Nelson

So bad that I dare you to watch it.

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Oh man. That's a classic. Ricky Nelson's classic in your face to those who wanted him to be a nostalgia act. I wholeheartedly disagree.