ADVERTISEMENT

OT: Dad advice needed

Congrats!
If you are an Amazon prime member be sure to join Amazon Mom and buy diapers and wipes on subscribe and save. The price on their are even cheaper then the store brand diapers.

If you plan to use bottles don't pick a brand. Sign up at the different stores and get free bottles. Some kids will only take one type of bottles.
 
Congrats! Accept that you don't and won't have all the answers. Need to figure things out as you go. Everyone has advice, but children are different. What works with some, doesn't work with others. Advice can be helpful, but you will need to find out what works best for you and the children.

If you don't have family close by, find some help early on. Even if it is only part time, mothers helper, etc. It is money well spent and you both will appreciate it, especially with twins.

And most importantly, cherish every moment.
 
Just found out im going to be the father of twins. Any advice would be much appreciated!

Congrats!

Parenting, from my experience, is largely maintaining common sense and a sense of humor.
Those two tenets got me through the vast majority of all the fun and troubles, smiles and headaches, wow!s and wtf?!s, that my kid threw my way.
Being consistent, calm, and approachable pays dividends over the longer run. Only 'over-react' to real emergencies. Share your insights and knowledge and suggestions as they relate to them at all the various stages of their growing up.... even when I thought my daughter was not paying attention, I realized later (sometimes years later!) she heard what I was saying and took it in, even if she didn't react as if she did as the time.

I bet it will be twice as fun with twins! Enjoy!
 
Just found out im going to be the father of twins. Any advice would be much appreciated!
twins-1988-danny-devito-arnold-schwarzenegger-tws-065-bkbtd0.jpg
 
Congrats!
If you are an Amazon prime member be sure to join Amazon Mom and buy diapers and wipes on subscribe and save. The price on their are even cheaper then the store brand diapers.

If you plan to use bottles don't pick a brand. Sign up at the different stores and get free bottles. Some kids will only take one type of bottles.

Would add that if/when you get to formula, ask your pediatrician for samples.
 
Most people are going to tell you things to do with/for the kids...I'm going to tell you the opposite. Do everything you can for your wife. Do the dishes, empty the dishwasher, make beds, cook some dinner, go food shopping, do the wash, etc. She is going to be so focused on the babies and so exhausted that things she may have done around the house are going to be swept to the side. My wife has told me a million times, what got us through having two babies 17 months apart was me doing those everyday chores that just pile up that she just didn't have time or energy to do.

Keep your wife calm and unstressed and you will have a great time raising those two babies! Enjoy it...The days will be long but the years will go fast!
 
If your only going to have two, remember while it's tougher now, it will be easier in the long run.

If you get frustrated, just walk away for 10 minutes to calm down.

Get fixed ASAP.
 
  • Like
Reactions: anon_xdc8rmuek44eq
Congrats!

Parenting, from my experience, is largely maintaining common sense and a sense of humor.
Those two tenets got me through the vast majority of all the fun and troubles, smiles and headaches, wow!s and wtf?!s, that my kid threw my way.
Being consistent, calm, and approachable pays dividends over the longer run. Only 'over-react' to real emergencies. Share your insights and knowledge and suggestions as they relate to them at all the various stages of their growing up.... even when I thought my daughter was not paying attention, I realized later (sometimes years later!) she heard what I was saying and took it in, even if she didn't react as if she did as the time.

I bet it will be twice as fun with twins! Enjoy!
Bob is out of his mind. If there was ever a time to panic, it's now.*

*just kidding; @Bob78's is excellent advice.
 
I don't have twins but I do have parenting experience.

Very few battles are worth the fight. Pick and choose wisely. Every time you are about to make a fuss ask yourself if it's really worth it.

Learn to like your children. All parents love their children but few actually like their children. You'll notice how most parents complain constantly, can't wait to drop them off somewhere, etc., etc., etc..

Make your house the neighborhood hangout. Then your rules apply.
 
Last edited:
Coupons, coupons, free samples, free samples.

You can get formula and diapers really cheap if you start scouring the coupon sites. Just start stocking up now.

Take a look to see if your area has a MoM (mother of multiples) group. Lots of good resources there.
 
  • Like
Reactions: anon_xdc8rmuek44eq
Congratulations! Good advice listed above. Be patient. When they get loud or do something that might get to you, coloring walls, feeding the dvd player, etc., remember you were once a baby, an infant, a toddler, a child, and were just like them.

Teach your children well.....
.....
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: hagberg
Coupons, coupons, free samples, free samples.

You can get formula and diapers really cheap if you start scouring the coupon sites. Just start stocking up now.

Take a look to see if your area has a MoM (mother of multiples) group. Lots of good resources there.

Yeah - my sister-in-law has twins and the MoM sales have been a godsend. The other consignment sales (Between Friends, etc.) are also great places to find deals on things that aren't going to have a long shelf life (gently used clothes, toys, jogging strollers, etc.). Some things are worth investing in - good car seats; a sturdy, easily portable pack and play; multi-use stroller; 'nice' clothes for special events/occasions.

Will add this - and maybe TMI, but....not sure what your wife wants to do WRT breast feeding vs. pumping vs. formula. My advice is do what works best for you and your family. Twins are going to be a lot harder, but my SIL breastfed hers for a good while before pumping. For us, we tried breastfeeding, but it didn't take, and it made our first week or so home with my daughter unbearable. She was up constantly, wanting to feed, but it just didn't take. My wife was upset because she felt like a failure and there is this 'shade' of sorts you get when you tell some doctors and nurses you're not sure about breastfeeding (at the breast). We kept a feeding/pooping/peeing journal and I found it the other day - she probably 'fed' at least once an hour every hour for three days when we first brought her home. After a non-useful experience with a lactation consultant, we opted to pump. Some insurance companies will pay for a pump for you, but they don't have the 'power' of a hospital grade pump (which you can rent from the birthing ward of any hospital). We rented one, and once we began pumping, it was great. We knew how much she was eating, she was sleeping better and longer, and it made it a lot easier for me to help. Sure, in the first few months my wife was up every 3-4 hours to pump, but when she did that I could grab milk from the fridge and take care of my daughter. And, once you start building up a supply, you can grab and go as needed so your wife can sleep if she doesn't have to get up to pump.

Every kid is going to be different, but we learned our lesson. We went straight to pumping with my son and it was a completely different (better) experience for us.
 
Yeah - my sister-in-law has twins and the MoM sales have been a godsend. The other consignment sales (Between Friends, etc.) are also great places to find deals on things that aren't going to have a long shelf life (gently used clothes, toys, jogging strollers, etc.). Some things are worth investing in - good car seats; a sturdy, easily portable pack and play; multi-use stroller; 'nice' clothes for special events/occasions.

Will add this - and maybe TMI, but....not sure what your wife wants to do WRT breast feeding vs. pumping vs. formula. My advice is do what works best for you and your family. Twins are going to be a lot harder, but my SIL breastfed hers for a good while before pumping. For us, we tried breastfeeding, but it didn't take, and it made our first week or so home with my daughter unbearable. She was up constantly, wanting to feed, but it just didn't take. My wife was upset because she felt like a failure and there is this 'shade' of sorts you get when you tell some doctors and nurses you're not sure about breastfeeding (at the breast). We kept a feeding/pooping/peeing journal and I found it the other day - she probably 'fed' at least once an hour every hour for three days when we first brought her home. After a non-useful experience with a lactation consultant, we opted to pump. Some insurance companies will pay for a pump for you, but they don't have the 'power' of a hospital grade pump (which you can rent from the birthing ward of any hospital). We rented one, and once we began pumping, it was great. We knew how much she was eating, she was sleeping better and longer, and it made it a lot easier for me to help. Sure, in the first few months my wife was up every 3-4 hours to pump, but when she did that I could grab milk from the fridge and take care of my daughter. And, once you start building up a supply, you can grab and go as needed so your wife can sleep if she doesn't have to get up to pump.

Every kid is going to be different, but we learned our lesson. We went straight to pumping with my son and it was a completely different (better) experience for us.
"I've got teats Greg..... can you milk me?"


Seriously though, good advice.

Through those years, we met a lot of folks who experienced "issues" in that regard ....... and for whatever reasons, it often seems to be an emotional thing for the Mom
But so long as plenty of nourishment is getting to the baby - one way or the other - it's all good.
 
  • Like
Reactions: anon_xdc8rmuek44eq
Help your wife in meaningful ways, accept help, cut some of the after work hours down once in a while to get home more (if you can), and laugh a lot. The time flies.
 
Most people are going to tell you things to do with/for the kids...I'm going to tell you the opposite. Do everything you can for your wife. Do the dishes, empty the dishwasher, make beds, cook some dinner, go food shopping, do the wash, etc. She is going to be so focused on the babies and so exhausted that things she may have done around the house are going to be swept to the side. My wife has told me a million times, what got us through having two babies 17 months apart was me doing those everyday chores that just pile up that she just didn't have time or energy to do.

Keep your wife calm and unstressed and you will have a great time raising those two babies! Enjoy it...The days will be long but the years will go fast!

You are going to be a dad. Good for you.
But you and your wife are going to be parents. That's a tricky act to balance along with a strong marriage.
For the next several years more than likely she'll carry the heavier load. Make it easier for her.
Get on the same page with your plans. You will be surprised about the different ideas you two will have over the next twenty plus years and it'll help if those ideas don't come as a surprise.
Work hard at being a dad but remember the husband part too.
You seem to have gotten some great advice about how to do things and make it all easier but you'll figure out your way to do it all and have a great family.
Congrats and good luck.
 
Know that no one in the history of the the world was ready for kids, but they've been surviving for all of history. :)

Take lots of videos, before you know it, you won't be able to remember having a baby.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jmorovich
Congrats. On a humorous note, as Bluto said to Flounder, "my advice is to drink heavily."
 
thanks everyone! This is great advice. definitely excited but also nervous at the same time. They are due in November so I still have some time to prepare
All will be fine! Don't let anyone scare you... too much that is:) Having children is the best blessing you will ever be given in your life! It is hard work, but well worth the effort; so do it well and the rewards will be there to enjoy!
 
Enjoy every second that you have with them.

But first things first: Allow the McAndrew board to come up with their names. I'll nominate Nittany and Lion.

Oh yeah, tattoo one of them so you'll always be able to tell them apart ;)
 
Another thing to remember - when I asked the Doctor why my daughter would not stop crying he asked if she was fed and changed and I said she was he then said well no child ever died from crying they just cry sometimes. Its hard to take because you want to help them but it does happen and there is really nothing wrong. It was easier the second time around since we knew what to expect.
 
  • Like
Reactions: anon_xdc8rmuek44eq
I have boy girl twins that are now 17. Be prepared to totally get your ass kicked for about two years. If you can find a college student to baby sit a few nights a week so you can sleep, big plus. Economy of time happens later. First 2-3 years are tough. In the end, it's amazing, but early on it's challenging. In Lancaster, there is a mother of twins group, and I would guess they have one in your area. Share ideas, local resources , and great "yard sales " amongst the group. Best of Luck on your journey.
 
Last edited:
Yeah - my sister-in-law has twins and the MoM sales have been a godsend. The other consignment sales (Between Friends, etc.) are also great places to find deals on things that aren't going to have a long shelf life (gently used clothes, toys, jogging strollers, etc.). Some things are worth investing in - good car seats; a sturdy, easily portable pack and play; multi-use stroller; 'nice' clothes for special events/occasions.

Will add this - and maybe TMI, but....not sure what your wife wants to do WRT breast feeding vs. pumping vs. formula. My advice is do what works best for you and your family. Twins are going to be a lot harder, but my SIL breastfed hers for a good while before pumping. For us, we tried breastfeeding, but it didn't take, and it made our first week or so home with my daughter unbearable. She was up constantly, wanting to feed, but it just didn't take. My wife was upset because she felt like a failure and there is this 'shade' of sorts you get when you tell some doctors and nurses you're not sure about breastfeeding (at the breast). We kept a feeding/pooping/peeing journal and I found it the other day - she probably 'fed' at least once an hour every hour for three days when we first brought her home. After a non-useful experience with a lactation consultant, we opted to pump. Some insurance companies will pay for a pump for you, but they don't have the 'power' of a hospital grade pump (which you can rent from the birthing ward of any hospital). We rented one, and once we began pumping, it was great. We knew how much she was eating, she was sleeping better and longer, and it made it a lot easier for me to help. Sure, in the first few months my wife was up every 3-4 hours to pump, but when she did that I could grab milk from the fridge and take care of my daughter. And, once you start building up a supply, you can grab and go as needed so your wife can sleep if she doesn't have to get up to pump.

Every kid is going to be different, but we learned our lesson. We went straight to pumping with my son and it was a completely different (better) experience for us.
Our breastfeeding experience was initially challenging. Tough with two. Breast pump and feed made life much better. Lactation specialist talks to all the moms now a days I believe.
 
  • Like
Reactions: anon_xdc8rmuek44eq
Enjoy every second that you have with them.

But first things first: Allow the McAndrew board to come up with their names. I'll nominate Nittany and Lion.

Oh yeah, tattoo one of them so you'll always be able to tell them apart ;)
If we wanted us some wussies, we would have named them Dr Quinn and Medicine Woman- Ricky Bobby to his father-in-law
 
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT