Another piece of advice- start a 529 for them immediately . Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. can be donations into the 529. Compounding Interest is your friend.
OT: Dad advice needed
- Thread starter jerseylion109
- Start date
A
anon_xdc8rmuek44eq
Guest
Yes - in our two experiences, both were helpful but IMO there is definitely an expectation and a bit of pressure to feed at the breast. I absolutely recommend trying and doing it if you are able, but don't be afraid to supplement or pump.
I am a father of twins - boy and girl. Now they are 36 years old.
Identical twins have additional challenges. If identical, paint one twin's toe nail so you don't get them mixed up.
My wife joined the local Mothers of Twins club and got a lot of advice.
Learn to change dirty diapers right away. You get used to it and there's no avoiding it down the road.
Do all the other duties: baths, dressing, feeding.
Don't let an uncle teach them how to do the raspberries. What a mess when feeding them. As soon as one started it was time to get the mop.
You will need two of almost everything, especially the pack and plays. Toddlers can scratch each other, poke at eyes, etc. We were fortunate that my sister's daughter was just growing out of these things.
We did a combo - breast feeding and formula supplement. I did the latter. Gives Mom a little time to rest.
Keep them on the same schedule for naps and feeding. If one wakes up, get the other one up. Gives you a chance to sometimes get a break.
Our twins developed a few of their own words. Never found out what Urgetry meant.
Move to a school district with driver training. Teaching one kid to drive is tough. Two is brutal.
The good news:
Ours were very well behaved kids even as toddlers. They entertained each other and were patient. Our third child - a boy - was more difficult to raise.
They will support and defend each other for life. Once I threatened to spank my daughter and her 4-year old brother told me he would not let me.
Fraternal twins will have separate personalities which makes raising them easier.
Finally, get sleep whenever. Get help whenever. We had large families nearby and got a lot of help.
Identical twins have additional challenges. If identical, paint one twin's toe nail so you don't get them mixed up.
My wife joined the local Mothers of Twins club and got a lot of advice.
Learn to change dirty diapers right away. You get used to it and there's no avoiding it down the road.
Do all the other duties: baths, dressing, feeding.
Don't let an uncle teach them how to do the raspberries. What a mess when feeding them. As soon as one started it was time to get the mop.
You will need two of almost everything, especially the pack and plays. Toddlers can scratch each other, poke at eyes, etc. We were fortunate that my sister's daughter was just growing out of these things.
We did a combo - breast feeding and formula supplement. I did the latter. Gives Mom a little time to rest.
Keep them on the same schedule for naps and feeding. If one wakes up, get the other one up. Gives you a chance to sometimes get a break.
Our twins developed a few of their own words. Never found out what Urgetry meant.
Move to a school district with driver training. Teaching one kid to drive is tough. Two is brutal.
The good news:
Ours were very well behaved kids even as toddlers. They entertained each other and were patient. Our third child - a boy - was more difficult to raise.
They will support and defend each other for life. Once I threatened to spank my daughter and her 4-year old brother told me he would not let me.
Fraternal twins will have separate personalities which makes raising them easier.
Finally, get sleep whenever. Get help whenever. We had large families nearby and got a lot of help.
I have a 4mo old we adopted at birth. Twins are a different story, but I'm living it right now. A couple things I can share.
Whenever you are exhausted and don't know how you will do it, remember that it's temporary. Things will change next week, next month, and again the month after that.
My friends had twin preemies about 7 years ago. They were difficult. Just trying to feed them is a full time job. They wound up having to get a nurse to come in overnight one day a week so they could get just a little sleep and not go insane. Do what you have to do to get through it.
With two, let along one, you will need someplace to set them down at times. Get two infant loungers. It will make your life easier. Also great to feed them a bottle in. We were given one and we had no idea why. It has been the thing we've used most.
https://leachco.com/collections/comfort/products/podster-sup-sup
With two, I'm assuming at least a good bit of bottle-feeding will have to happen. Get a baby Brezza formula pro. It will save your life at 3am (and all day long). Basically a Keurig for formula. I cannot stress this enough. Docs will probably tell you to use pre-mixed formula for the first two month. You will be waiting until Day 60 until you can use this. Makes a perfect bottle in 10 sec with the push of one button.
https://babybrezza.com/collections/frontpage/products/formula-pro
If you are using formula, you'll stress about which to use. Don't. We were using Similac Non-GMO b/c that is what the hospital provided. I then found that the Costco brand is identical to Similac...same formula. same package. same labels. made in the same plant. half the price. If you' aren't a member. become one. If you aren't close to one, they'll ship it to you for free. Of course, if they have any serious reflux or allergy issues, you'll need to adjust, but buying Kirkland is saving us 50% on formula.
Take every bit of hand-me downs you can. They literally grow out of stuff in weeks in some cases so buying a ton of new stuff is a waste...and don't plan too far ahead and buy a bunch of PSU stuff to dress them in for football saturday's. Just wait a while. Our daughter was 6lb 9oz at birth. At 4 mos, she is 16.3 and out filling out 9mos clothing. Got a bunch of stuff she will never wear. Don't get too far ahead of yourselves.
Finally, everything I said might be totally wrong. Every kid is different and what parents care about is different. Congrats and best of luck!!!
Last edited:
As a father of twins myself - congratulations!
1) Buy a minivan. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.
2) It's very possible your kids will be born prematurely - ours were, and they had a lengthy stay in the NICU. Try not to get too anxious over it, and take the opportunity, if it presents itself, to enjoy the rest. Once the kids are home you will be going non-stop and most likely not getting a full night's sleep for months. (I hope you have a good healthcare plan...)
3) You'll need double of everything - diapers, car seats, a double stroller... Be prepared!
4) Trust yourself. You know yourselves and your kids better than anyone...including the doctors.
5) As much as you can, be there for your wife and be supportive. She'll need it, and she'll appreciate it.
Good luck, best wishes, and enjoy them while they're young! Our kids are now just ready to become teenagers and my daughter believes she knows everything and my son can't understand why his schoolwork is important when he's making money mowing the neighborhood lawns! Take plenty of pictures!
1) Buy a minivan. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.
2) It's very possible your kids will be born prematurely - ours were, and they had a lengthy stay in the NICU. Try not to get too anxious over it, and take the opportunity, if it presents itself, to enjoy the rest. Once the kids are home you will be going non-stop and most likely not getting a full night's sleep for months. (I hope you have a good healthcare plan...)
3) You'll need double of everything - diapers, car seats, a double stroller... Be prepared!
4) Trust yourself. You know yourselves and your kids better than anyone...including the doctors.
5) As much as you can, be there for your wife and be supportive. She'll need it, and she'll appreciate it.
Good luck, best wishes, and enjoy them while they're young! Our kids are now just ready to become teenagers and my daughter believes she knows everything and my son can't understand why his schoolwork is important when he's making money mowing the neighborhood lawns! Take plenty of pictures!
35 weeks is full term for twins. Typical pregnancy is 40 weeks. Your wife will get bigger with two buns in the oven and might be on bed rest or lighter activity sooner than a single birth. Mothers of Multiples is a great resource as has been peppered throughout the thread. Keep us posted.
Never, ever shake a baby!
Spend time with them and always be a part of their lives. You will make mistakes, be a lousy parent sometimes, do dumb things, but if you're a part of their life, that's all they will remember. And if you have a girl (or two girls) be there for her and be active in her life. That way she won't have to turn to some idiot because she doesn't have a father figure in her life. So many of my daughter's friends ended up dating older guys at a young age because their dads were too busy fishing or playing golf to do "girly" things with their daughter.
Oh, and read to them all the time! It will bring you closer together and it will make them better in school.
I also have a set of twins after I had already had two kids. NO matter how you may disagree with your in-laws take any support they will provide. Grandparents provide balance and wisdom during your many sleepless nights and trying times. Enjoy and congratulations!
JerseyLion: Congrats, brother! I have twin boys myself. They just finished their junior year at Penn State. I also have a singleton (that's what parents of twins call a single birth) son who just finished his junior year in high school.
You should be prepared for more than normal sleep deprivation for the first few months. Your wife is gonna need help with the nighttime feedings. Get her a horseshoe shaped nursing pillow. And a twin jogging stroller.
Be prepared for incredibly stupid questions from strangers ("Are they twins?" "Are they the same age?" [WTF?!] "Which one is the evil one?") And if they are fraternal twins, "How come they don't look alike?" or better yet, "How come one is a boy and one is a girl?"
Resist the notion of dressing them alike, particularly after age six months or so. They need to develop their own separate identities. Also resist the temptation to compare one with the other, either in terms of temperament, academic achievement, or athletic achievement. That can be really counterproductive. If they are same sex, they will likely be somewhat competitive with each other anyway.
Best of luck and keep us posted.
You should be prepared for more than normal sleep deprivation for the first few months. Your wife is gonna need help with the nighttime feedings. Get her a horseshoe shaped nursing pillow. And a twin jogging stroller.
Be prepared for incredibly stupid questions from strangers ("Are they twins?" "Are they the same age?" [WTF?!] "Which one is the evil one?") And if they are fraternal twins, "How come they don't look alike?" or better yet, "How come one is a boy and one is a girl?"
Resist the notion of dressing them alike, particularly after age six months or so. They need to develop their own separate identities. Also resist the temptation to compare one with the other, either in terms of temperament, academic achievement, or athletic achievement. That can be really counterproductive. If they are same sex, they will likely be somewhat competitive with each other anyway.
Best of luck and keep us posted.
Last edited:
Enjoy .... it comes and goes pretty quickly. Raising kids can be a challenge at times and it's not always easy. But you'll miss those days when their grown.
Babysitting? It's your baby too. Ane changing a diaper is one of the best ways to show your baby you care for them. In this day and age, if a dad has never changed a diaper (or brags that he rarely does it like one guy I know), I don't consider him much of a father.
Thanks for the advice Chick. I'm 68 years old, heart still beating, decided to stay working full time until I wish to quit, not retire. With my salery and added SS Karen & I are essentially giving our grandkids our full SS earnings toward their education. This isn't about diper changing, this is about the our new world. Kar & I have around 200k invested in our graddkids. Can we afford it...NO..
Last edited:
1) https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0757...ution+book&dpPl=1&dpID=51ojG90Q4fL&ref=plSrch
I recommend this book. Conquer sleep and the rest takes care of itself for awhile. I have recommended this to everyone I know who is having a baby for years. Everyone who applies its principals ends up doing the same.
2) www.care.com
For babysitters. Accept lots of help from family, but make your primary caregiver (other than yourselves) someone you employ. Family doesn't listen and you'll learn that consistency and sanity are closely related in your situation.
3) Love yourself. Take some time to run, hit the gym, hit a round of golf, play on your softball team, go fishing, etc. You are responsible for your own happiness. If you are not happy, you will not make those around you happy. Besides, life is too short.
4) Continue to be a couple with your girl. Most Psychologists recommend at least one "date night" per week. Do not neglect this. Not to be crude, but make time for sex. Schedule it if you have to. This is part of the glue that holds your relationship together. There is no such thing as "I'm too busy" or "I'm too tired." You'll feel better.
I recommend this book. Conquer sleep and the rest takes care of itself for awhile. I have recommended this to everyone I know who is having a baby for years. Everyone who applies its principals ends up doing the same.
2) www.care.com
For babysitters. Accept lots of help from family, but make your primary caregiver (other than yourselves) someone you employ. Family doesn't listen and you'll learn that consistency and sanity are closely related in your situation.
3) Love yourself. Take some time to run, hit the gym, hit a round of golf, play on your softball team, go fishing, etc. You are responsible for your own happiness. If you are not happy, you will not make those around you happy. Besides, life is too short.
4) Continue to be a couple with your girl. Most Psychologists recommend at least one "date night" per week. Do not neglect this. Not to be crude, but make time for sex. Schedule it if you have to. This is part of the glue that holds your relationship together. There is no such thing as "I'm too busy" or "I'm too tired." You'll feel better.
Get yourself some of these.
http://www.target.com/p/medela-5ct-quick-clean-micro-steam-sterilizing-bags/-/A-10953413
Also agree on the person that noted to do your homework on formula (we adopted, too, which was always fun with the "why aren't you breastfeeding" lulus). The costco/sams club variety is cheaper, but the same thing as the expensive stuff.
It's also been mentioned, but can't be stressed enough. Go crazy at the consignment sales (for clothes and the bouncer-type stuff). Tons of cheap stuff in very good condition, sometimes still with store tags on them.
http://www.target.com/p/medela-5ct-quick-clean-micro-steam-sterilizing-bags/-/A-10953413
Also agree on the person that noted to do your homework on formula (we adopted, too, which was always fun with the "why aren't you breastfeeding" lulus). The costco/sams club variety is cheaper, but the same thing as the expensive stuff.
It's also been mentioned, but can't be stressed enough. Go crazy at the consignment sales (for clothes and the bouncer-type stuff). Tons of cheap stuff in very good condition, sometimes still with store tags on them.
