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OT: Does your spouse try to rationalize everything to the n-th degree?

LOL Only three minutes?? you lucky dog.
Three minutes? I’d expect 3 months of charges if the discussion goes past 40 seconds. It won’t be returned because of the way you acted!

EDIT: Oh wait. I misread—or didn’t pay attention. She asked you to return it. No. I don’t get that. Once I say “sure,” it’s forgotten about. The long rationalizations come when I foolishly point out it’ll take her 5 minutes or me a half hour due to travel time. That’s the conversation ending in the 3-month lag.
 
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YES! We are downsizing. She has “justified” on all sides:

1. an apartment, a townhouse and a ranch in a 55+ community
2. Living at the Jersey shore, in Center City Philadelphia and near King of Prussia where are grandchildren are
3. Living in a 55+ with a clubhouse and pool v. one without
 
YES! We are downsizing. She has “justified” on all sides:

1. an apartment, a townhouse and a ranch in a 55+ community
2. Living at the Jersey shore, in Center City Philadelphia and near King of Prussia where are grandchildren are
3. Living in a 55+ with a clubhouse and pool v. one without
Jane wants to know what I’m finding so amusing. What do I say?
 
We just bought a new modem and need to return the rental to Comcast. “Can you return it today?” “Sure.” “I’d really like you to return it today because (three minutes of explanations follow).” Do you get this?
I get this all the time. What you are failing to realize is that this is your fault. You see, back in 1986 she asked you to do something and you answered "sure". Later, you forgot about the task but she hasn't, and she's been holding that grudge against you for 32 years now.

It's clear as day, this is your fault.
 
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My wife has one sister, two aunts / uncles and only 4 cousins who combined have about 6 children. They all pretty much know what each other is up to all the time.

I have 2 brothers, 2 sisters, 7 aunts / uncles and 25 cousins with more children than I have even met. I don't have the bandwidth to keep up with everyone.

My wife will ask me a question about one of them and is incredulous that I often have no idea. She thinks I just don't want to tell her what I know.

She also spends way more time on Facebook than I do. So she picks up the bits and pieces that I never see. She knows enough to ask me. But I haven't seen the posts she's talking about.

Wives can be......"different" than husbands. I'll go with that.
 
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We just bought a new modem and need to return the rental to Comcast. “Can you return it today?” “Sure.” “I’d really like you to return it today because (three minutes of explanations follow).” Do you get this?
My wife and I have an agreement. Once I say "ok" she can explain it twice. If she explains it a third time I change my mind as a matter of principle. For example
Wife. I'd like to move the couch to that other wall.
Me. Ok
Wife. It would look better centered under that picture.
Me. Ok
Wife. It would open up the room more.
Me. Ok
Wife. It would give the kids more room to play.
Me. I don't want to move the couch.
 
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Does your spouse try to rationalize everything to the n-th degree?

well, she did marry a mathematician, so she probably thinks you want that level of detail in a discussion.

or, she realizes you're a Neshaminy alum, and as such need multiple repetitions just to comprehend the concept. :D:D
 
My wife does not do that but she will rationalize everything that she wants to be true, actually is true.

Just the other day she was planning putting a flowerbed around two trees in our yard. One of those trees is an ash tree and is not looking good. Ash borer beetles have killed one tree in our yard. I told her don't make any permanent plans around the ash tree because it is only going to last another year or two. Well of course I was completely wrong, we had our trees checked 3 years ago, so there could absolutely be nothing wrong with the tree. The fact that half of the branches have no leaves means nothing and the tree will be just fine. Okay honey, you go ahead and put in your flowerbed.
 
As I read this thread I realized my wife belongs to this cult. Is there a deprogramming method or organization somewhere? Or an exorcism rite?
 
I'll see that issue and raise you. Not only will my wife rationalize, but if I do not agree with her then I am the worst person in the world and a mean husband.
well Hell we already knew that!!!! (I kid)
 
No, you are lucky, I get the o-th degree.
Ditto. My wife decided she didn't like the family room sofa and love seat any more. I suggested we look for new pieces to replace them, but the next thing I know they are gone. She had someone come and pick them up. We are now using pieces from her staging business that are the most uncomfortable in the world (more for display then actually sitting on). My wife clearly needs zero justification for doing something no matter how spontaneous.
 
How do you know if it is unspoken or not?
She will occasionally mention that she understands why I don't listen all the time. The key is knowing WHEN to listen- this can't be taught, only learned from experience.
 
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What if you said, "I'll do it. I don't care what the reasons are. You just asking me is enough."
 
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The other day, we were on amazon looking to buy diaper genie refills. She went with the cheapest option (because she's the most.... frugal... person you've ever known) and I told her that I, as the ONLY person in the house that changes the diaper genie, want another kind. She and I went back and forth for 20 minutes about this, until I, in good husband fashion, lamented and said ok. She rationalizes EVERYTHING with cost. "we've got a baby now, we need to start saving for what he's gonna need" and "we're looking at rental properties, we need to save for that". Yes dear, the 4$ difference between the cheap diaper genie refills and good refills are gonna mean the difference between community college and ivy league for the boy...

Happy ending for yours truly though. I go to amazon the next day and see that she reversed the sale, and got the ones that I wanted. When I asked her why, she said "you were right, you're the one who changes it so you should be the one to make the call".
 
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We just bought a new modem and need to return the rental to Comcast. “Can you return it today?” “Sure.” “I’d really like you to return it today because (three minutes of explanations follow).” Do you get this?
This is clearly one of those times when some "marital snark" is in order. You simply exclaim "it is evident that his job is beyond my capabilities. I think we both feel it is something you should handle".:)
 
We just bought a new modem and need to return the rental to Comcast. “Can you return it today?” “Sure.” “I’d really like you to return it today because (three minutes of explanations follow).” Do you get this?

Lots of variations, of course.

For some, it is often about “trying on various feelings” like trying on clothes.

They may try on different comments to see what “feels” good. Then they can stop.

;)
 
We just bought a new modem and need to return the rental to Comcast. “Can you return it today?” “Sure.” “I’d really like you to return it today because (three minutes of explanations follow).” Do you get this?

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The other day, we were on amazon looking to buy diaper genie refills. She went with the cheapest option (because she's the most.... frugal... person you've ever known) and I told her that I, as the ONLY person in the house that changes the diaper genie, want another kind. She and I went back and forth for 20 minutes about this, until I, in good husband fashion, lamented and said ok. She rationalizes EVERYTHING with cost. "we've got a baby now, we need to start saving for what he's gonna need" and "we're looking at rental properties, we need to save for that". Yes dear, the 4$ difference between the cheap diaper genie refills and good refills are gonna mean the difference between community college and ivy league for the boy...

Happy ending for yours truly though. I go to amazon the next day and see that she reversed the sale, and got the ones that I wanted. When I asked her why, she said "you were right, you're the one who changes it so you should be the one to make the call".

So you are basically saying that you have a wife that (on at least one occassion) has admitted when she is wrong? I think it is safe to say that you've got yourself a winner and we all hate you for it.
 
My wife has one sister, two aunts / uncles and only 4 cousins who combined have about 6 children. They all pretty much know what each other is up to all the time.

I have 2 brothers, 2 sisters, 7 aunts / uncles and 25 cousins with more children than I have even met. I don't have the bandwidth to keep up with everyone.

My wife will ask me a question about one of them and is incredulous that I often have no idea. She thinks I just don't want to tell her what I know.

She also spends way more time on Facebook than I do. So she picks up the bits and pieces that I never see. She knows enough to ask me. But I haven't seen the posts she's talking about.

Wives can be......"different" than husbands. I'll go with that.
I have one rule regarding Facebook. No more than one member of the immediate family should use Facebook. Otherwise its a duplication of efforts.
 
The other day, we were on amazon looking to buy diaper genie refills. She went with the cheapest option (because she's the most.... frugal... person you've ever known) and I told her that I, as the ONLY person in the house that changes the diaper genie, want another kind. She and I went back and forth for 20 minutes about this, until I, in good husband fashion, lamented and said ok. She rationalizes EVERYTHING with cost. "we've got a baby now, we need to start saving for what he's gonna need" and "we're looking at rental properties, we need to save for that". Yes dear, the 4$ difference between the cheap diaper genie refills and good refills are gonna mean the difference between community college and ivy league for the boy...

Happy ending for yours truly though. I go to amazon the next day and see that she reversed the sale, and got the ones that I wanted. When I asked her why, she said "you were right, you're the one who changes it so you should be the one to make the call".

This is actually a great technique. I "let" my wife win arguments all the time, because half the time she'll come around on her own. And half the time is infinitely more times than if I dug in my heels and made it a fight.
 
I have one rule regarding Facebook. No more than one member of the immediate family should use Facebook. Otherwise its a duplication of efforts.

I'd like to change the approval rules to make spouses have to approve status updates. I'm soooooooooooo tired of family and friends asking me about things I haven't told them about yet, but they saw on Facebook because my wife posted. I'm making a new rule, starting today, that I'm not answering questions related to posts she made. They can ask her if they are that curious.
 
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