Three inch binder found at Mar a Lago

creamery freak

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Jul 26, 2014
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The FBI and DOJ have confirmed that a copy of Penn State wrestling’s 3 inch binder has been found at Mar a Lago.

A spokesperson for the FBI said a 3 inch binder titled ‘ Making wrestling fun while winning team National Championships’, was discovered late last week. The binder was found buried among many other top secret government documents in a box. The spokesperson said “ We’re 99% sure this was written by Cael Sanderson, with some additional writing from Cody Sanderson and Casey Cunningham. There were many references such as ‘ Being grateful for the opportunity to wrestle or blessed to be out on the mat.’

The 3” binder only has 4 basic chapters. The 1st chapter is titled ‘ Dodge balling your way to a National Championship.’ The 2nd chapter is ‘ Stretching your scholarships with slush funds.’ The 3rd chapter is on weight loss techniques titled ‘ Fasting your way to the top of the podium’ The 4th chapter deals with adverse environments and is titled ‘ Pinning down the noise in Carver.’

The FBI spokesperson said “when taking everything in to account, this 3 inch binder came from Penn State Wrestling. I’ve watched enough of the NCAA Wrestling Championships and heard many PSU wrestlers interviewed to know this came from Penn State. We need to get this back to Coach Cael before the wrestling world finds out there’s a copy floating around. We’ve already discovered a leak, which led to 3 different high profile Division 1 wrestling coaches showing up at the gates of Mar a Lago on Friday”.

“ The first coach to show up was a wild eyed looking Tom Brands. He was jumping around like my kid’s hamster and yelling “ Illegal stall tactics!” while he was bending a sneaker in half. The next coach to show up was Tom Ryan. He said “ That’s not how I’d write it, and while I’m in Florida it’s time to hit the beach!” The last coach was a dejected looking John Smith, who wanted a peek at chapter 3, about weight loss techniques. John told me that they thought Oklahoma State could patent their weight loss program. He said they invented a human vacuum sealer their wrestlers use every day after practice. We also preach strict dieting as we expect our guys to wrestle one or two weights below their senior high school weight. Most people think of Cauliflower ears as a wrestler’s trademark. Not here at Oklahoma State, our trademark’s are protruding cheek bones and sunken eye sockets”.

The FBI spokesperson said the 3” Binder is currently in route back to State College.
 

District four

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2018
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The FBI and DOJ have confirmed that a copy of Penn State wrestling’s 3 inch binder has been found at Mar a Lago.

A spokesperson for the FBI said a 3 inch binder titled ‘ Making wrestling fun while winning team National Championships’, was discovered late last week. The binder was found buried among many other top secret government documents in a box. The spokesperson said “ We’re 99% sure this was written by Cael Sanderson, with some additional writing from Cody Sanderson and Casey Cunningham. There were many references such as ‘ Being grateful for the opportunity to wrestle or blessed to be out on the mat.’

The 3” binder only has 4 basic chapters. The 1st chapter is titled ‘ Dodge balling your way to a National Championship.’ The 2nd chapter is ‘ Stretching your scholarships with slush funds.’ The 3rd chapter is on weight loss techniques titled ‘ Fasting your way to the top of the podium’ The 4th chapter deals with adverse environments and is titled ‘ Pinning down the noise in Carver.’

The FBI spokesperson said “when taking everything in to account, this 3 inch binder came from Penn State Wrestling. I’ve watched enough of the NCAA Wrestling Championships and heard many PSU wrestlers interviewed to know this came from Penn State. We need to get this back to Coach Cael before the wrestling world finds out there’s a copy floating around. We’ve already discovered a leak, which led to 3 different high profile Division 1 wrestling coaches showing up at the gates of Mar a Lago on Friday”.

“ The first coach to show up was a wild eyed looking Tom Brands. He was jumping around like my kid’s hamster and yelling “ Illegal stall tactics!” while he was bending a sneaker in half. The next coach to show up was Tom Ryan. He said “ That’s not how I’d write it, and while I’m in Florida it’s time to hit the beach!” The last coach was a dejected looking John Smith, who wanted a peek at chapter 3, about weight loss techniques. John told me that they thought Oklahoma State could patent their weight loss program. He said they invented a human vacuum sealer their wrestlers use every day after practice. We also preach strict dieting as we expect our guys to wrestle one or two weights below their senior high school weight. Most people think of Cauliflower ears as a wrestler’s trademark. Not here at Oklahoma State, our trademark’s are protruding cheek bones and sunken eye sockets”.

The FBI spokesperson said the 3” Binder is currently in route back to State College.
You meant 83% sure
 

Parkerdam555

Well-Known Member
Jul 2, 2022
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The FBI and DOJ have confirmed that a copy of Penn State wrestling’s 3 inch binder has been found at Mar a Lago.

A spokesperson for the FBI said a 3 inch binder titled ‘ Making wrestling fun while winning team National Championships’, was discovered late last week. The binder was found buried among many other top secret government documents in a box. The spokesperson said “ We’re 99% sure this was written by Cael Sanderson, with some additional writing from Cody Sanderson and Casey Cunningham. There were many references such as ‘ Being grateful for the opportunity to wrestle or blessed to be out on the mat.’

The 3” binder only has 4 basic chapters. The 1st chapter is titled ‘ Dodge balling your way to a National Championship.’ The 2nd chapter is ‘ Stretching your scholarships with slush funds.’ The 3rd chapter is on weight loss techniques titled ‘ Fasting your way to the top of the podium’ The 4th chapter deals with adverse environments and is titled ‘ Pinning down the noise in Carver.’

The FBI spokesperson said “when taking everything in to account, this 3 inch binder came from Penn State Wrestling. I’ve watched enough of the NCAA Wrestling Championships and heard many PSU wrestlers interviewed to know this came from Penn State. We need to get this back to Coach Cael before the wrestling world finds out there’s a copy floating around. We’ve already discovered a leak, which led to 3 different high profile Division 1 wrestling coaches showing up at the gates of Mar a Lago on Friday”.

“ The first coach to show up was a wild eyed looking Tom Brands. He was jumping around like my kid’s hamster and yelling “ Illegal stall tactics!” while he was bending a sneaker in half. The next coach to show up was Tom Ryan. He said “ That’s not how I’d write it, and while I’m in Florida it’s time to hit the beach!” The last coach was a dejected looking John Smith, who wanted a peek at chapter 3, about weight loss techniques. John told me that they thought Oklahoma State could patent their weight loss program. He said they invented a human vacuum sealer their wrestlers use every day after practice. We also preach strict dieting as we expect our guys to wrestle one or two weights below their senior high school weight. Most people think of Cauliflower ears as a wrestler’s trademark. Not here at Oklahoma State, our trademark’s are protruding cheek bones and sunken eye sockets”.

The FBI spokesperson said the 3” Binder is currently in route back to State College.
Post of the year. Needs pinned to the top.
 

Parkerdam555

Well-Known Member
Jul 2, 2022
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703
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There is an investigation under way to find a stolen 5th chapter of the binder titled 'How to get off bottom'. The only person who has been deemed not to be a suspect is Tom Ryan.
That 5th chapter also has a forward, written by "E. Lizak" entitled "gas em from bottom"