We are now 12.5 hours out from the big dual. More FUN must be had. So dig deep into your creative minds, and post your predictions — fake or real (but fake are best, if you’re on a school’s payroll) — for this weekend’s news story headlines.
Weekend Headlines
- Thread starter slushhead
- Start date
You saw the schedule — Pretend to be Working (8am-2pm)!
Well Im self employed, so therefore have an asshole for a boss!
1. Yelling, accompanied by Tom holding Terry back followed immediately by Terry holding Tom back from menacing the scoring table.
2. One fake, clock-stopping injury.
3. Despite being in Carver, Penn State gets hit for fewer stall-calls than Iowa, but it's close.
4. Cass on bottom too long, wishing he hadn't given up milkshakes.
5. RBY's late-match flip for two earns him both a major and a phone call from Monica Aldama, head coach of Texas' Navarro College cheer squad, who offers him a full ride and featured spot as first male "flyer" in school's history.
2. One fake, clock-stopping injury.
3. Despite being in Carver, Penn State gets hit for fewer stall-calls than Iowa, but it's close.
4. Cass on bottom too long, wishing he hadn't given up milkshakes.
5. RBY's late-match flip for two earns him both a major and a phone call from Monica Aldama, head coach of Texas' Navarro College cheer squad, who offers him a full ride and featured spot as first male "flyer" in school's history.
Followed by Desanto who in disgust, accidentally pulls his singlet down too low revealing his PSU tramp stamp.
BREAKING FLO NEWS – PSU/Iowa Dual Lives Up To Hype!
In a clash of titans Friday night in Iowa City, Penn State eked out an 18-12 victory over the favored but much persecuted Iowa Hawkeye wrestling champions. For the second time in one week, the Nittany Lions inexplicably managed to get past their closest rivals.
2022 NCAA Coach of the Year frontrunner Tom Brands gave appropriate credit to Cael Sanderson and his squad for the win: “Yeah, they have a solid team I guess, but it’s hard to compete against the transfer portal and top wrestling media figures who actively recruit for your rival, especially with the entire social media machine arrayed against you. Wait, is arrayed a real word? What I’m trying to say is, other Big Ten schools + cheating. You do the damn math.”
Assistant Iowa head coach Terry Brands refused to comment to reporters immediately after the loss but was heard shouting into the still-full, but eerily quiet 100,000 seat Carver–Hawkeye Arena, “This is bull%#$! – we’re going to sue Wrestlestat and its political leader Al Gorithm for their lies and broken promises!”
Despite the narrow win, Penn State is expected to drop to #3 in Flo’s team rankings due to its failure to record bonus wins at each weight class. Similarly, Carter Starocci will likely tumble at least 5 spots in the 174 lb rankings due to lodging a meager 1-point win over Iowa’s elderly and infirm but inspirational Grandpa Mike Kemerer. Meanwhile, Alex “The Bull” Marinelli is sure to skyrocket higher than the #1 ranking at 165 as a result of his dominating 2-point win over Penn State’s scrappy veteran Brady Berge.
More analysis and commentary to come once Pyles and Askren sort out the negative tournament seeding implications tonight's outcome will have for the Nittany Lions.
In a clash of titans Friday night in Iowa City, Penn State eked out an 18-12 victory over the favored but much persecuted Iowa Hawkeye wrestling champions. For the second time in one week, the Nittany Lions inexplicably managed to get past their closest rivals.
2022 NCAA Coach of the Year frontrunner Tom Brands gave appropriate credit to Cael Sanderson and his squad for the win: “Yeah, they have a solid team I guess, but it’s hard to compete against the transfer portal and top wrestling media figures who actively recruit for your rival, especially with the entire social media machine arrayed against you. Wait, is arrayed a real word? What I’m trying to say is, other Big Ten schools + cheating. You do the damn math.”
Assistant Iowa head coach Terry Brands refused to comment to reporters immediately after the loss but was heard shouting into the still-full, but eerily quiet 100,000 seat Carver–Hawkeye Arena, “This is bull%#$! – we’re going to sue Wrestlestat and its political leader Al Gorithm for their lies and broken promises!”
Despite the narrow win, Penn State is expected to drop to #3 in Flo’s team rankings due to its failure to record bonus wins at each weight class. Similarly, Carter Starocci will likely tumble at least 5 spots in the 174 lb rankings due to lodging a meager 1-point win over Iowa’s elderly and infirm but inspirational Grandpa Mike Kemerer. Meanwhile, Alex “The Bull” Marinelli is sure to skyrocket higher than the #1 ranking at 165 as a result of his dominating 2-point win over Penn State’s scrappy veteran Brady Berge.
More analysis and commentary to come once Pyles and Askren sort out the negative tournament seeding implications tonight's outcome will have for the Nittany Lions.
PSU wins, drops in the rankings.
AJ Ferrari goes 197 for Iowa. John Smith complains that Ferrari faked his own death to avoid the portal.
Penn State Wins---Iowa changes nickname from Hawkeyes to Ducks
Followed by Tom brands post match interview where he boldly states that PSU is his daddyFollowed by Desanto who in disgust, accidentally pulls his singlet down too low revealing his PSU tramp stamp.
Terry runs across the mat, strips off his clothes Mongolian style, then punches both refs. PSU gets docked a team point for laughing.
I usually have pretty strong inclinations how each individual match will play out, this one is somewhat different. There are so many closely matched contests. Penn State will win the dual, HR will implode with the notion that Iowa was cheated by pathetic officiating with not nearly enough stall calls against Penn State. Penn State will have a large advantage in offensive points scored, but Hawk fans will be Hawk fans.
Individually
125 PSU 3-0 PSU
133 PSU 6-0 PSU
141 PSU 9-0 PSU
149 PSU 12-0 PSU
157 IOWA 12-3 PSU
165 PSU 15-3 PSU
174 PSU 20-3 PSU Iowa holds Kem out, but swears there was no ducking
184 PSU 24-3 PSU
197 PSU 27-3 PSU
HWT PSU 30-3 PSU
In the post match interview Tom mentions average officiating, stalling, chasing mother trucking SOBS all over the mat, and everytime they caught us they took us down, lack of stalling calls, Big10 collusion against Iowa because "I (Tom Brands) see no reason why we have to wrestle these other schools who beat us. I will be talking to my athletic administration, I see no reason why we should have to travel to that school. Ever!".
In Cael's post match, Cael acknowledges he and the team had fun and that 50 tough looking Hawk fans showed up for the take down challenge but nobody came onto the mat which led to a Hawk chant of "heeeeeesssss stttttaaaaallllliiiiinnnnnn".
Individually
125 PSU 3-0 PSU
133 PSU 6-0 PSU
141 PSU 9-0 PSU
149 PSU 12-0 PSU
157 IOWA 12-3 PSU
165 PSU 15-3 PSU
174 PSU 20-3 PSU Iowa holds Kem out, but swears there was no ducking
184 PSU 24-3 PSU
197 PSU 27-3 PSU
HWT PSU 30-3 PSU
In the post match interview Tom mentions average officiating, stalling, chasing mother trucking SOBS all over the mat, and everytime they caught us they took us down, lack of stalling calls, Big10 collusion against Iowa because "I (Tom Brands) see no reason why we have to wrestle these other schools who beat us. I will be talking to my athletic administration, I see no reason why we should have to travel to that school. Ever!".
In Cael's post match, Cael acknowledges he and the team had fun and that 50 tough looking Hawk fans showed up for the take down challenge but nobody came onto the mat which led to a Hawk chant of "heeeeeesssss stttttaaaaallllliiiiinnnnnn".
Seriously, one duck could cost that team this dual, doubt we’ll see any, and if we do, its prolly is legit.
1. Hawkeye fans call stalling on poor young lady singing the national anthem
2. At least 2 Hawkeye starters do not wrestle tonight.
3. Eirman needs oxygen after the match and says “no mas”!
4. After his blow out loss, Densanto runs to the PSU corner and challenges Casey!
5. Terry and Tom remove their shoes and leave them in the middle of the mat after the match leaving to speculation that Spencer is ready to take over now
2. At least 2 Hawkeye starters do not wrestle tonight.
3. Eirman needs oxygen after the match and says “no mas”!
4. After his blow out loss, Densanto runs to the PSU corner and challenges Casey!
5. Terry and Tom remove their shoes and leave them in the middle of the mat after the match leaving to speculation that Spencer is ready to take over now
After RBY locks up a cradle , and appears ready for a pin, Austin cries out in pain, and declares No Mas a second time.
Tom Brands pleads with his wrestler to continue wrestling, but to no avail. He provides a no comment to reporters after the match when asked if Desanto was injured.
Austin is later heard mumbling about RBY cheating by holding his arm behind his back and decrying ‘I was Carvered!!’
All of HR insists that Austin was indeed injured again. But he makes a miraculous comeback just in time for the Hawks next dual. Again.
Tom Brands pleads with his wrestler to continue wrestling, but to no avail. He provides a no comment to reporters after the match when asked if Desanto was injured.
Austin is later heard mumbling about RBY cheating by holding his arm behind his back and decrying ‘I was Carvered!!’
All of HR insists that Austin was indeed injured again. But he makes a miraculous comeback just in time for the Hawks next dual. Again.
I know lots of people love dunking on Desanto for that match, but for the sake of accuracy, he didn't wrestle for 2 weeks after that RBY match, missing 2 duals.
PSU drops it's entire team in order to compensate Iowa for the loss of Spencer Lee. Nico comes out of the room to wrestle every weight; pins every opponent except at 285 where Cass is DQ'd for constantly fleeing the mat in fear.
Jim Gibbons plays the Jim Gibbons Drinking Game during the broadcast, passes out during the 157 match.
Breaking News!
HR in disbelief: Crablegs1 Confirmed as Hawkeye Insider
HR in disbelief: Crablegs1 Confirmed as Hawkeye Insider
“
With the subheading, “But he’s still a douche”.
Its been a slow day in anticipation of the HUGE BIGLY snow storm coming to central MD. What a bunch of sissies here 1-4" over the next 14 hours. 2 weeks ago they canceled school in anticipation of snow and all it did was rain....
Since i work outside maybe I have a different perspective on "bad weather". You guys from Erie would laugh your butts off at these Nancie's.....
Only good thing is they canceled baseball practice too so my day is now done and I get to go start a fire, smoke a cigar and pregame for tonight.
On to tomorrow's headlines today!
- Penn State Wins!
- Penn State Sweeps the Upper Weights at Carver in Huge Road Win
- Behind a Tech Fall from AB the PSU Youth take out the Iowa Old Timers in B14 Clash
- In strange Twist Duck Season Came Early at Carver as backups go at 125, 133, 174, 197 and HWT
- Tom Brands is Escorted from Carver in hand cuffs following 60-0 blow out. Terry Brands still on the Loose.
- Dont Believe your Cry'n Eyes, Lions Break Iowa Winning Streak
- Hes Stalling....Tom Brands refuses to talk to media following blow out loss to Penn State
- It wasnt just the Carver Cones that melted Friday Night, as Iowa looked soft served losing big to Penn State
- PSU bench with big Win at 157 propelling Lions to Huge Road Win over #3 Hawks
- In a Plot Twist WWE Superstar Sting drops from Carver Rafters to save the Day for Big Cass and Brands Bros
- With Match Still Tied after 9th Criteria, the Dual is awarded to the team who had the Most F**.
- Big Cass breaks Diet, Doesn't make weight and is the difference in the match for the Lions
- To get jump on the travel home, Fans Leave following Heavyweight Match and Do not Return to watch 125-197
- Carver Toilets Clog following Complete Sh!t show by Hawks on Friday night
- BTN fails to show Brands documentary following 60-0 blowout win by Penn State
WE ARE!
Since i work outside maybe I have a different perspective on "bad weather". You guys from Erie would laugh your butts off at these Nancie's.....
Only good thing is they canceled baseball practice too so my day is now done and I get to go start a fire, smoke a cigar and pregame for tonight.
On to tomorrow's headlines today!
- Penn State Wins!
- Penn State Sweeps the Upper Weights at Carver in Huge Road Win
- Behind a Tech Fall from AB the PSU Youth take out the Iowa Old Timers in B14 Clash
- In strange Twist Duck Season Came Early at Carver as backups go at 125, 133, 174, 197 and HWT
- Tom Brands is Escorted from Carver in hand cuffs following 60-0 blow out. Terry Brands still on the Loose.
- Dont Believe your Cry'n Eyes, Lions Break Iowa Winning Streak
- Hes Stalling....Tom Brands refuses to talk to media following blow out loss to Penn State
- It wasnt just the Carver Cones that melted Friday Night, as Iowa looked soft served losing big to Penn State
- PSU bench with big Win at 157 propelling Lions to Huge Road Win over #3 Hawks
- In a Plot Twist WWE Superstar Sting drops from Carver Rafters to save the Day for Big Cass and Brands Bros
- With Match Still Tied after 9th Criteria, the Dual is awarded to the team who had the Most F**.
- Big Cass breaks Diet, Doesn't make weight and is the difference in the match for the Lions
- To get jump on the travel home, Fans Leave following Heavyweight Match and Do not Return to watch 125-197
- Carver Toilets Clog following Complete Sh!t show by Hawks on Friday night
- BTN fails to show Brands documentary following 60-0 blowout win by Penn State
WE ARE!
Agreed, but if it is 5 matches to 1 (coming into the meat of our lineup) like Nitlion6 has predicted, it would not surprise me.
If PSU has a solid lead when it gets to 174, Brands will sit Kemerer. Otherwise, ducking is unlikely.
Similar threads
