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OT: Commuting issues. Does this sound familiar?

LionJim

Well-Known Member
Oct 8, 2003
37,797
19,331
1
Levittown, PA to Olney, MD
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm in the middle lane of a major artery into DC and the only vehicle in sight in front of me is a school bus around 70 yards ahead. The flashing yellow lights on the bus go on and I figure I'm too far back to gun it and beat the red flashers so I get off the gas and start coasting. (I'm a relaxed driver.) The red flashers go on and the STOP sign on the arm swings out and soon after I start braking, coming up slowly onto the bus, just coasting up. Jane: "Look out for the bus."

Thoughts?
 
Jane has control issues. Even though you are in complete control and have braked for buses a thousand times in your life, Jane wants to have the personal satisfaction of putting her stamp on it. Mine is never happy with our yard.
 
I am the same type of driver and I hear the same thing from time to time from my wife. My usual response is "I got it" and I let it be, or at times I will say something like "ok, next time you can drive".
 
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm in the middle lane of a major artery into DC and the only vehicle in sight in front of me is a school bus around 70 yards ahead. The flashing yellow lights on the bus go on and I figure I'm too far back to gun it and beat the red flashers so I get off the gas and start coasting. (I'm a relaxed driver.) The red flashers go on and the STOP sign on the arm swings out and soon after I start braking, coming up slowly onto the bus, just coasting up. Jane: "Look out for the bus."

Thoughts?


It's nothing. The person in the passenger seat doesn't know what you are seeing or thinking and the utterance was simply an act of caution.
 
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm in the middle lane of a major artery into DC and the only vehicle in sight in front of me is a school bus around 70 yards ahead. The flashing yellow lights on the bus go on and I figure I'm too far back to gun it and beat the red flashers so I get off the gas and start coasting. (I'm a relaxed driver.) The red flashers go on and the STOP sign on the arm swings out and soon after I start braking, coming up slowly onto the bus, just coasting up. Jane: "Look out for the bus."

Thoughts?
that's why if I can, I let my wife drive, and keep my mouth shut.
 
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm in the middle lane of a major artery into DC and the only vehicle in sight in front of me is a school bus around 70 yards ahead. The flashing yellow lights on the bus go on and I figure I'm too far back to gun it and beat the red flashers so I get off the gas and start coasting. (I'm a relaxed driver.) The red flashers go on and the STOP sign on the arm swings out and soon after I start braking, coming up slowly onto the bus, just coasting up. Jane: "Look out for the bus."

Thoughts?

My wife has done this type of thing in the car a thousand times as well. And 997 times I didn't need her to do or say anything. But I'm quite thankful for the other 3 times where she saw something that I didn't.
 
Go see the one man play "Defending the Cave Man". Explains it perfectly. Take your wife, and refer to it often. It will give you cover.

Or, read "Men are from Mars". I am sure it is no longer politically correct, but it is what it is.
 
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My wife is either asleep or has her eyes closed in silent prayer when she's in the passenger seat with me driving l. That's the way I like it. Yes the prayers are for a safe arrival at our destination. Not that I need them or anything.......
 
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Go see the one man play "Defending the Cave Man". Explains it perfectly. Take your wife, and refer to it often. It will give you cover.

Or, read "Men are from Mars". I am sure it is no longer politically correct, but it is what it is.

My wife made sure that we went to see this PRIOR to getting married, it was actually one of her 'requirements'. She is NOT your typical woman, and for that I am most grateful. A prime example was when we were looking for a new SUV we were on a test drive (Nissan Murano) and she punched it. She looks at the salesman and says "How much horsepower and torque does this thing have?" Salesman "I don't know, never been asked that on a test drive." Wife "Well it needs some help. Maybe I should tow it with my BMW?" LOL!!!!!!
 
img-thing
 
My wife made sure that we went to see this PRIOR to getting married, it was actually one of her 'requirements'. She is NOT your typical woman, and for that I am most grateful. A prime example was when we were looking for a new SUV we were on a test drive (Nissan Murano) and she punched it. She looks at the salesman and says "How much horsepower and torque does this thing have?" Salesman "I don't know, never been asked that on a test drive." Wife "Well it needs some help. Maybe I should tow it with my BMW?" LOL!!!!!!

LOL! I luv it.

My wife and I go through this occasionally. Married 23 years. I'm a Sunday driver compared to her. The last time she tried to 'back seat drive' me was 2015 on the way to a Christmas party. When she last remarked on my driving I merely pulled over and with no ceremony, made her take the wheel. Her backseat performances have ceased.
 
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm in the middle lane of a major artery into DC and the only vehicle in sight in front of me is a school bus around 70 yards ahead. The flashing yellow lights on the bus go on and I figure I'm too far back to gun it and beat the red flashers so I get off the gas and start coasting. (I'm a relaxed driver.) The red flashers go on and the STOP sign on the arm swings out and soon after I start braking, coming up slowly onto the bus, just coasting up. Jane: "Look out for the bus."

Thoughts?

Plus you're in DC..Only those of us that drive those roads can even know what it feels like..I freaking HATE it...worst traffic int he world and the passenger was probably paranoid about just being in that traffic...it sucks balls. I always see this dude in the am that has IH866 plates..haha
 
Fac -

"NEW QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who lives at 16 Parkside Lane?

Looking for a "First" name only."

Sue.

Sue lived at 16 Parkside Lane. See- she was going to be an actress and Harry was going to learn to fly. But, it didn't work out, Sue married some really wealthy guy and Harry drove a cab and....frankly just got stoned a lot. They ran into each other when she hailed a cab and he picked her up. It had been a few years since they had seen each other, and but when she looked at his hack license, she remembered him.
 
Fac -

"NEW QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who lives at 16 Parkside Lane?

Looking for a "First" name only."

Sue.

Sue lived at 16 Parkside Lane. See- she was going to be an actress and Harry was going to learn to fly. But, it didn't work out, Sue married some really wealthy guy and Harry drove a cab and....frankly just got stoned a lot. They ran into each other when she hailed a cab and he picked her up. It had been a few years since they had seen each other, and but when she looked at his hack license, she remembered him.

Nailed it Ro.

What was Sylvia's last name?
 
Thanks for sharing this. I experienced this for many years. There is no treatment for it. It may have its origins in the X chromosome. It has nothing to do with your driving or your wife's trust in your driving. It's a reflex.The best solution, which we came up with after about 20 years, was to have my wife be the primary driver when we're together. We're both equally good drivers so this works well -- i'm happy to be the primary navigator.
 
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm in the middle lane of a major artery into DC and the only vehicle in sight in front of me is a school bus around 70 yards ahead. The flashing yellow lights on the bus go on and I figure I'm too far back to gun it and beat the red flashers so I get off the gas and start coasting. (I'm a relaxed driver.) The red flashers go on and the STOP sign on the arm swings out and soon after I start braking, coming up slowly onto the bus, just coasting up. Jane: "Look out for the bus."

Thoughts?

I just wish they would enforce HOV restrictions on 66 in the morning. 30% or more I see are single driver cars. :mad:
 
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm in the middle lane of a major artery into DC and the only vehicle in sight in front of me is a school bus around 70 yards ahead. The flashing yellow lights on the bus go on and I figure I'm too far back to gun it and beat the red flashers so I get off the gas and start coasting. (I'm a relaxed driver.) The red flashers go on and the STOP sign on the arm swings out and soon after I start braking, coming up slowly onto the bus, just coasting up. Jane: "Look out for the bus."

Thoughts?
My wife is the biggest back seat driver you will ever meet, but I am also a pretty aggressive driver. I do my best to tone it down completely when she is in the passenger seat but still get advice about my speed, what lane I'm in, if I should have my high beams on, if I'm in someone's blind spot, road conditions, when someone else has a turn signal on and basically everything that is happening within a mile radius of the car. I have tried everything from ignoring it to telling her to relax to asking if she wants to drive. Considering we have been married almost 28 years and I've been driving for over 30 years with one accident on my record (same as her), it is very frustrating.

All I can say is welcome to my world!
 
I'm driving into work with my wife. I'm

Thoughts?

Who says men and women are different!?!?? Read on.

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment:

The professor told his class: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Bill )

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.

"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.


( Bill )

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.


(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

( Bill )

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium."

Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F---ING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo

who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)


A$$h@le.

( Bill )


B*tch!

(Rebecca)


F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

( Bill )


In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.


(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.
 
Who says men and women are different!?!?? Read on.

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment:

The professor told his class: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Bill )

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.

"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.


( Bill )

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.


(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

( Bill )

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium."

Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F---ING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo

who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)


A$$h@le.

( Bill )


B*tch!

(Rebecca)


F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

( Bill )


In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.


(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.

For the last five minutes I've been laughing hysterically as I read this. My five year old daughter has been asking me what I'm laughing at. I keep telling her its for her nature cat show, which makes her laugh at the TV, even when its not trying to be funny. Better yet, she knows its not trying to be funny.
 
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For the last five minutes I've been laughing hysterically as I read this. My five year old daughter has been asking me what I'm laughing at. I keep telling her its for her nature cat show, which makes her laugh at the TV, even when its not trying to be funny. Better yet, she knows its not trying to be funny.
Thanks Joe 95, every few years I go to an archived file of hundreds of jokes, stories, etc. and this is one of my favorites. I saw the mention of men from Mars and I remember this. I always enjoy rereading this piece. Another one I love so much is titled "The Chile Contest" which I may have posted in the past.
 
Grilling hamburgers on the deck tonight. Came in to check on something while burgers still on the grill and made a simple comment - "the grill doesn't seem to be getting that warm tonight."
My wife asks without hesitation - is the gas on?
My son and I make eye contact and just shake our heads. Mistake I made was saying that comment was exactly like something her mother would make.:confused:

OL
 
Grilling hamburgers on the deck tonight. Came in to check on something while burgers still on the grill and made a simple comment - "the grill doesn't seem to be getting that warm tonight."
My wife asks without hesitation - is the gas on?
My son and I make eye contact and just shake our heads. Mistake I made was saying that comment was exactly like something her mother would make.:confused:

OL
How's the couch in your house?
 
Fac -

"NEW QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who lives at 16 Parkside Lane?

Looking for a "First" name only."

Sue.

Sue lived at 16 Parkside Lane. See- she was going to be an actress and Harry was going to learn to fly. But, it didn't work out, Sue married some really wealthy guy and Harry drove a cab and....frankly just got stoned a lot. They ran into each other when she hailed a cab and he picked her up. It had been a few years since they had seen each other, and but when she looked at his hack license, she remembered him.

If that godawful song gets stuck in my brain tonight, I'm gonna blame... well, Jay, of course.
But it better not!
 
Grilling hamburgers on the deck tonight. Came in to check on something while burgers still on the grill and made a simple comment - "the grill doesn't seem to be getting that warm tonight."
My wife asks without hesitation - is the gas on?
My son and I make eye contact and just shake our heads. Mistake I made was saying that comment was exactly like something her mother would make.:confused:

OL

That's going to hurt.
 
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