Speaking only for myself and my own experiences and thoughts:
Over time, I have come to firmly believe that I must consider the impact, or potential impact, of my words and actions, and not just my intent. If I don't listen to what those impacts are or may be, from the people or institutions or who/whatever they are aimed at, I'm doing myself and others a disservice. If I don't, I risk that regardless of what I was trying to say, the message was overshadowed by the feelings of the person hearing the words. So my message becomes less effective, and impactful in the wrong direction. In positions I've held, as with long-time and recent friends and acquaintances, that is a bad thing. I want the impact to match the intent.
I try to keep in mind that the meaning of words evolve and distort over time, and far more rapidly now than in the recent past. I don't care to actively keep up with how words are now used, but when I see something in print, or hear it, I try to make a mental note to either check it out with trusted friends or simply make the note to not use it, as I would rather err on the side of respect for someone else's perception and feelings. It's a simple change of approach for me, a very minor inconvenience at worst.
I'm not a sensitive person, I can take jokes and even verbal assaults (another advantage of age and experience), so my tolerance is far greater than what I assume anyone else's to be. That has served me well. I don't try to please everyone, but I absolutely try to respect everyone I interact with until they give me reason to not. My experiences are relatively narrow and limited, and I never know about anyone else's story unless and until I listen to them. I've heard some real eye-openers that have made a huge impact on me, and helped to form this approach to my personal communications.
Again, just writing out my thoughts on this; consider or reject (or ignore me) them as you wish.
