God, Family and Wrestling.

[bwifan]

Stay Strong and Keep the Faith!!! Lifting you and your family up in prayer.

 

[Mpchillin]

I intended this thread as a way of thanking you all for being an escape for me during a very painful time in my life. After giving out my Sons name, it hit me that some of you may care enough and to look into what exactly happened. The internet is a powerful tool. Anyway, I don't want anyone thinking I intentionally tried to misrepresent anything here so I'd like to say just a few more things if you'd all allow.

I first met Shane when he was 5 years old. Soon after, his mother and I married, we became one big blended family....even adding a little brother for Shane. It was during this time I promised to always love him and to be best Dad that I could possibly be to him...always. Some in society may not consider Shane my son. I may have felt the same way prior to meeting him but please make no mistake...Shane will always and forever be my boy.

Shane had different needs than those my youngest son. Hindsight tells me because of those needs, I may have even neglected my youngest son at times. I don't know, maybe I just thought at the time that Shane needed me more. Anyway, their mother and I did have marriage problems. We probably even hung on longer that we should have for the sake of our children.

We're a unique family. When we did finally decide to part, Shane asked that he remain under my care with the blessing from his mother and natural father. He said he'd be happier here, he'd feel safer. To some around us, I'm sure it seemed odd. I think even some in my own family questioned the decision but that was certainly understandable. Hell, I've even started to question myself. Was it the right decision, could I have done more,was I there enough for him. Did I do enough to try to understand depression and what it could cause a person to do?

My emotions have been everywhere. I go from happiness to sadness to anger....Yes...anger. How could he leave me like this? How could he go knowing the sound of that night would keep going through my head over and over and over again? How could he force me to have to break down his bedroom door to be with him while his little brother was just downstairs? These are the things I ask, things that make me angry, things I can't talk about to those around me yet i find myself using you all to just get it all out.

I tried to convince myself to let my mind rest for awhile. To take a break from trying to understand depression and what it is doing to people. I think it would be a mistake. I want to try to help people. I owe that to Shane. And if my story helps just one family out there then that's all I can ask for. I'm going to step away from this thread now and get back to letting the board discuss wrestling. I want to thank you all again for being a huge part of my healing process. It means more to me than you know. ...

Send me an email sometime if you would like, mpchillin@yahoo.com, we have a lot more in common than you might think.

 

[GG121AND2]

I intended this thread as a way of thanking you all for being an escape for me during a very painful time in my life. After giving out my Sons name, it hit me that some of you may care enough and to look into what exactly happened. The internet is a powerful tool. Anyway, I don't want anyone thinking I intentionally tried to misrepresent anything here so I'd like to say just a few more things if you'd all allow.

I first met Shane when he was 5 years old. Soon after, his mother and I married, we became one big blended family....even adding a little brother for Shane. It was during this time I promised to always love him and to be best Dad that I could possibly be to him...always. Some in society may not consider Shane my son. I may have felt the same way prior to meeting him but please make no mistake...Shane will always and forever be my boy.

Shane had different needs than those my youngest son. Hindsight tells me because of those needs, I may have even neglected my youngest son at times. I don't know, maybe I just thought at the time that Shane needed me more. Anyway, their mother and I did have marriage problems. We probably even hung on longer that we should have for the sake of our children.

We're a unique family. When we did finally decide to part, Shane asked that he remain under my care with the blessing from his mother and natural father. He said he'd be happier here, he'd feel safer. To some around us, I'm sure it seemed odd. I think even some in my own family questioned the decision but that was certainly understandable. Hell, I've even started to question myself. Was it the right decision, could I have done more,was I there enough for him. Did I do enough to try to understand depression and what it could cause a person to do?

My emotions have been everywhere. I go from happiness to sadness to anger....Yes...anger. How could he leave me like this? How could he go knowing the sound of that night would keep going through my head over and over and over again? How could he force me to have to break down his bedroom door to be with him while his little brother was just downstairs? These are the things I ask, things that make me angry, things I can't talk about to those around me yet i find myself using you all to just get it all out.

I tried to convince myself to let my mind rest for awhile. To take a break from trying to understand depression and what it is doing to people. I think it would be a mistake. I want to try to help people. I owe that to Shane. And if my story helps just one family out there then that's all I can ask for. I'm going to step away from this thread now and get back to letting the board discuss wrestling. I want to thank you all again for being a huge part of my healing process. It means more to me than you know. ...

JTS,

I am so sorry for your losses. We have received several donations in memory of your son.Do you mind emailing me at jbrown@wrestlingforlife.org?

Jim Brown
Wrestling for Life

 

[Shifty15]

This certainly puts things into perspective and makes us all realize how precious each day is for everyone. Be strong land always know all of us are here for support.

 

[tomsc]

I was not raised in a religious family and went to PSU with an open mind about God’s existence. Four years later I graduated with a BS in Biology. Notwithstanding the evidence to the contrary, I came to believe that there was a God. Simply put, God revealed himself to me as I sought answers to my questions. This changed the course of my life. I continued my studies (two master’s degrees and a Ph.D.) and I now teach at a Christian University in Indiana. The hope and assurance of faith sustain me with the knowledge that I will see loved ones again after death. I have seen many people without faith spiral down in depression and despair after the loss of family and friends. That is a deep hole to climb out of and some people never make it. When life beats you down, some people turn to alcohol, drugs or suicide. What impresses me most about several of our wrestlers (and those at OSU as well) is that they’ve got their eyes on the prize. They look beyond the accolades and achievements that they earn on the mat and realize that there is something more important in life. How many times have you heard Jason, Bo and Zain communicate this in their interviews? How can an extraordinarily talented wrestler like Miles Martin graciously walk off the mat last year after the most bitter defeat of his career? He explained the reason on Saturday. Trust God, in spite of what happens in life.


The purpose of having a community is to help people when they fall down. We need to share our stories because in the process we learn from one another and we realize that we are not alone in this world. Living in Indiana, my wife and I are not able to connect much with the PSU wrestling fan base. We wish we could, because this forum has helped me to appreciate the wild, crazy, “fun” and knowledgeable group that we have online (I really wish that Spyker would reappear). We try to make the Big 10 Championships, the Scuffle and matches when our guys wrestle out this direction. In those instances, we have been blessed to meet a few of you. I’ve never met you or been to Johnstown, but Johnstownsteel, you will be in my prayers. I hope someday we will meet.

Johnstown, I'm just reading of the double tragedies in your life now, and want to add my sincere condolences to and prayers for you. I'm replying to INL's post because I have a somewhat similar history to his. Came to PSU as an unbeliever and came to faith in Christ through a fraternity brother. Went on to medical school and studying the complexity of the nervous system in neuroanatomy, marveled that anything that complex could come about by chance. All that to say, Johnstown, that as I say that I will pray for you, they're not just token words (I'm certainly not implying that anyone else's are!). I can't begin to understand the depth of your pain, but I know that our Father does know the loss of a Son, and I pray for His comfort of you in your incredible loss.

 

[86PSUPaul]

You donated $18.00 USD to Wrestling for Life
Thank you for using PayPal
Donation Details
Date: March 13, 2019 at 12:43:00 PM PDT
Transaction ID: xxxxxx
Purpose: Wrestling For Life in memory of JTS's son Shane Edward
Donation to: Wrestling for Life
Donation from: 86PSUPaul
Donation amount: $18.00 USD

God bless you brother

 

[funkisfun12]

Donation Details
Date: March 13, 2019 at 11:44:20 AM PDT
Transaction ID: 4191-5853-9166-7103
Purpose: In memory of Shane Edward
Donation to: Wrestling for Life
Donation from: funkisfun12
Donation amount: $25.00 USD

 

[Doak]

I have always believed the greatest human suffering to exist is the result of one's child predeceasing their parent. My faith tells me there is a very special place in heaven for those parents who have endured this tragedy. I believe this with all my heart. I usually remain silent on this board but have held you and your family quietly in my prayers over the past couple days after reading your OP. Now to learn of your son's suffering I have to add my written condolences to the long list of all the others who have done so. I have an adult son who also suffers from depression and your reality is the fear I wake with and fall asleep to every single day. I will continue to pray for you and your family to have the strength to endure and the faith to continue believing. God Bless you.
Also made a donation to WFL in memory of Shane Edwards.

 

[7brwnpsu]

Tom McAndrew, had his article posts for last Friday 11:39 an article called "Going Byers" about Jeff Byers written by State College News. In the article it mentions Jeff's fiancee Marisa and her foundation called Jana Marie Foundation, to help young individuals with mental health surrounding struggling with life issues. Marisa sadly lost her sister Jana. JTS I just thought that it was appropriate to bring it up after your last post. If this has been mentioned earlier, I apologize.

Thank you Tom for posting that. JTS I'll be thinking about you often. You are not alone in your struggles.

 

[GG121AND2]

The wrestling community once more shows its heart! We have received several donations from BWI posters in memory of JTS' son. I have contacted JTS and we will either create a single wrestling camp scholarship for one middle school athlete or help finance the cost of an entire club/middle school team from Johnstown attending a clinic. We have been helping organizations in Johnstown with wrestling shoes, so I have the necessary contacts to make this happen. 100% of your gifts will go to help youngsters in Johnstown in the name of JTS' son.

Thank you.

Jim Brown

Founder/Board President
Wrestling for Life

 

[johnstownsteel]

I have always believed the greatest human suffering to exist is the result of one's child predeceasing their parent. My faith tells me there is a very special place in heaven for those parents who have endured this tragedy. I believe this with all my heart. I usually remain silent on this board but have held you and your family quietly in my prayers over the past couple days after reading your OP. Now to learn of your son's suffering I have to add my written condolences to the long list of all the others who have done so. I have an adult son who also suffers from depression and your reality is the fear I wake with and fall asleep to every single day. I will continue to pray for you and your family to have the strength to endure and the faith to continue believing. God Bless you.
Also made a donation to WFL in memory of Shane Edwards.

I said I would leave this thread fall away but I needed to respond. Your words were beautiful and came at a time when I certainly needed them. I hate that you or anyone else has to go through the struggles associated with depression. I know your pain. I know how you are living in fear and it breaks my heart. You and your family will be in my prayers. Reach out if you ever need an ear. I'd certainly love to try to help you through anything you're dealing with.

 

[uncwalrus]

100% of your gifts will go to help youngsters in Johnstown in the name of JTS' son.




Date: March 14, 2019 at 6:49:08 PM PDT
Transaction ID: 8WA21537GH090870L
Purpose: Wrestling For Life
Donation to: Wrestling for Life
Donation from:
Donation amount: $100.00 USD


Jim: I intended this to be in memory of JTS son. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear. Thanks for all you do.

 

[Agoodnap]

JTS, I'm very sorry for your loses.

Do you need any financial help right now? Let us know. Don't be proud, we'll help.

 

[Str8DBLz]

WoW, here I lay reading through these post I'm just floored! I have tickets to nationals and a hotel booked as you know from our many emails back and forth. You told me to please read this post in the last email sent. I didn't forget about it but just now had time to sit and read.... Read more than a 1 liner here or there. Jtown my heart hurts for you man! As I stated in emails its guys like you who eventually convinced me to create a name and begin posting here on my own

If you do happen to be in Pittsburgh during NCAA's please don't hesitate to reach out to me here or via email. I'd buy you a drink and talk some wrestling in an attempt to ease your mind of the pain! Stay strong and keep moving forward 1 step at a time.