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So, tell me if I am being a good guy or not a good guy in this situation...

...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.

First, imo, you are being extremely thoughtful and helpful. Above and beyond. Asking for half or less of the fare she could get on her own is reasonable. You are giving up something of higher value. Of course you could have been even more generous had you chosen, but you had no obligation of any type to offer to help in any way at all.

Sounds (reads) like her reaction to you and your offer was knee-jerk. And maybe even recent, like today?
It would be interesting to see if she reconsiders after having a chance to relate the situation to a friend or three. She may get some advice that suggests she overreacted and did not think of the bigger picture here, was being rather self-centered, while you were being generous without needing to be or expecting anything outside of the money in return, etc.
She may then come to the idea on her own(!) that she should approach you again, a bit more humbly, and ask if the offer as extended is still available. Then it is on you to decide next steps, and again imo, there is no wrong answer on your part. Yes or no, you have either a generous heart or reasonable justification.

As others said, based on her displaying such an entitled and ungrateful 'tude in her unfiltered reaction, she may be a tough companion for such a potentially wonderful trip. Her asking you or expecting you to pay for meals, transportation, etc. is a reasonable concern that she brought on herself.

At this point, whatever you decide to do or not do next cannot be criticized, imo.
 
You're too nice IMO. Anyone who expects to get things for free or handed to them have issues.

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Perfect
 
All good comments. I am assuming all the responders are men.

I have not asked a woman’s perspective on this but if you think about it-ask you wife what she thinks. I would like to hear a woman’s thoughts on this. Just to see if it’s different.
I don’t want my wife to know I read this board.. but I’ll take one for the team.
 
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From someone who used to travel a lot, you earned those miles....Her response for your offer - pathetic. You deserve to enjoy those hard earned miles more so than her - pretty simple.
 
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
You did the right thing. That takes nerve in her part. Better off without her. Guess who would be paying for everything on the way? Hint,
Not the person who just got the free flight to
Greece.
 
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
How old is this female?
 
You absolutely were a good guy in this (assuming you don't have a bank of 10M miles that you could never possibly use). You ascribed a value to the miles and offered a very nice discounted price to her. In my day that would have been considered a win/win. Heck, logical minds today would consider that a win/win.
 
Once on board the flights, she’d probably want (I mean EXPECT) you to switch your first class seat with her middle-aisle coach seat.
 
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Tell her that (like Ukrainian military aid) a free flight to Greece on your points would come with a "quid pro quo" payable on one of those secluded Greek beaches. A man deserves a return on his investment.
 
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I think you should have offered the miles for free or not offered anything at all.
I've helped teacher friends as well with my FF miles several times
 
I think the good guy/bad guy determination might lie in whether or not the miles you would be donating would expire otherwise. Honestly, I don’t travel by air and have no idea how the miles work or if they still have an expiration date. Beyond that, what is your reputation? Are you considered cheap by friends? Or somebody who appears to be out to squeeze every last buck they can out of a situation? If any of these were to be true it could be misplaced disgust (“Look, there goes ro agains trying to squeeze his friends for money on miles he isn’t even going to use.”)
Without any other details than what you posted in your original post, I would say it was a very kind, thoughtful, and generous offer to a friend.
 
This ^^^^^^^.

There is an opportunity cost attached to those miles.
yes, and selling your miles like this is against the terms of every FF program, and just tacky imo
Give them away or keep them, but don't sell them
 
yes, and selling your miles like this is against the terms of every FF program, and just tacky imo
Give them away or keep them, but don't sell them

I see your point.

It could be in the presentation... For example, "I am WILLING to part with miles I could use to go to Hawaii this winter to HELP YOU defer costs for this trip to Greece. Might you be interested?" Take it from there.

The offer might appear a bit selfish, but her reaction WAS selfish. Many people like me who have 500,000 Marriott points are plotting on what to do with them.
 
I see your point.

It could be in the presentation... For example, "I am WILLING to part with miles I could use to go to Hawaii this winter to HELP YOU defer costs for this trip to Greece. Might you be interested?" Take it from there.

The offer might appear a bit selfish, but her reaction WAS selfish. Many people like me who have 500,000 Marriott points are plotting on what to do with them.
are you thinking about selling them?
 
are you thinking about selling them?

Not at all, but if a situation came up where I might be able to help someone out, I might. I'm taking my wife out for a week of luxury somewhere (probably Orlando). That will yield a nice ROI --- know what I'm saying?
 
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You're the good guy. Look at it this way - you offered to take away half the cost for her. Instead of giving her money, you were using your points to make it cost less for her. If you had offered $800 in cash to help her out, and she said "How dare you? Give me $1500!" what would your reaction be? What you offered isn't materially different. She may not realize it yet, but she was absolutely the jerk. Like others have said, no good deed goes unpunished.
 
PSURO-If there’s no intimacy and the relationship is purely based on friendship I would be a little taken aback. But in the grand scheme of things it may be worth the $800 If she’s a potential soulmate. You never know!
 
Early 40s. Should know better IMHO.
Ro, - Based on all you have posted, do you really think you would want to spend any time in Greece with this person? Without any physical or deeper personal connection it is not worth the potential for bad trip Karma. She has now possibly put you in a precarious position with the rest of your "circle of friends".

Spend $50 and send her flowers with a card apologizing for what could have been perceived as an inappropriate offer. Tell her that after thinking about it a little, you didn't intend for her to feel any type of obligation towards you for the generous offer. Explain you didn't offer them for free for fear it would have appeared to have been even more inappropriate. State that in good conscious you couldn't go through with the FF miles offer, and that you hope you can remain friends as you were before.

If she walks, you did your best to take the high road should the topic be raised with the others in your group of friends. If not, and it becomes an issue and they take her side - well time to find new friends!
 
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The boss has spoken.

IF she was invited (perceived or otherwise), asking for "compensation" for miles is all wrong.

IF she wanted to go, and rebuffed a good faith offer as it appears, then she's in the wrong. Terribly in the wrong.

There was no middle ground.
 
The boss has spoken.

IF she was invited (perceived or otherwise), asking for "compensation" for miles is all wrong.

IF she wanted to go, and rebuffed a good faith offer as it appears, then she's in the wrong. Terribly in the wrong.

There was no middle ground.
Tell the boss I said thanks.

The Ro has spoken. ;)
 
I think it’s kinda uncool to charge money for miles. Either give her the miles or find someone else to go. That said, I think her response is irrational and entitled.
 
Maybe you should send her a text that repeats one of the iconic bumper stickers from the 70’s

Gas, grass, or ass... nobody rides for free!
 
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Imagine taking a trip with her and going to the grocery store...you buy goods and then use your loyalty/discount card. She, then, expects you to give her that excess money?

BTW, flyer miles are often considered money in divorce settlements.
 
Imagine taking a trip with her and going to the grocery store...you buy goods and then use your loyalty/discount card. She, then, expects you to give her that excess money?

BTW, flyer miles are often considered money in divorce settlements.
Wow. I was not aware of that.

I feel I earned the miles and they have a value. I also feel I gave her an opportunity to travel at a low price. It was 75k miles to fly round trip when I had this convo with her. It took a lot of money to earn 75k -I feel I should get something back.
 
Wow. I was not aware of that.

I feel I earned the miles and they have a value. I also feel I gave her an opportunity to travel at a low price. It was 75k miles to fly round trip when I had this convo with her. It took a lot of money to earn 75k -I feel I should get something back.
The Points Guy Mileage Valuations. If those 75k miles are on American, ThePointsGuy suggests they are worth $0.014 per mile or $1,050.
 
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Wow. I was not aware of that.

I feel I earned the miles and they have a value. I also feel I gave her an opportunity to travel at a low price. It was 75k miles to fly round trip when I had this convo with her. It took a lot of money to earn 75k -I feel I should get something back.


I think FF miles are generally valued at $.02 a mile so you were “spending” $1,500. Your offer to her was more than generous.

As I expressed above, money could quite possibly be an issue every day if she ends up going with you.....accommodations, meals, excursions.

Have a great trip.....without her!
 
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.

Reminds me of a neighbor of ours from many years ago. Had a coupon for a buy one gym membership and get another one free. She decided it would be a good deal for her and my wife — provided my wife payed full price for the membership and she supplied the coupon to get her membership free. This is not the only person I have run into that thinks like that. I just shake my head that anyone can think that is a fair, equitable deal and not see a problem with it.
 
Tell her that (like Ukrainian military aid) a free flight to Greece on your points would come with a "quid pro quo" payable on one of those secluded Greek beaches. A man deserves a return on his investment.

I’d probably ask for some up front before you take the trip, just to make sure you don’t get gypped by her backing out on the deal after you get there.
 
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
You are clearly, undeniably, without question in the wrong here for making her an offer like that.

A true gentleman would have known to make that offer to a different person, one who understands what generosity and gratitude are. For shame!
 
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