I don't think anybody knows for certain what DeSanto's real story is. It isn't my business. However, it is obvious he needs to mature emotionally and he will get there. In the meantime there will be times he acts the jerk and is vilified for doing so. I think Spencer is a solid leader of a support mechanism, but I also believe his support system failed him by building him into a frenzy over the double dog dare to take bottom thing with Lizak and that was not doing the kid any favors.If I understand correctly, DeSanto has been diagnosed as being on the Autism spectrum, where individual behaviors can vary widely. (My adult son is mildly autistic, so I'm somewhat familiar with this condition). So he is really not wired quite the same as other individuals; particularly in adolescence, autistic individuals are more prone to outbursts and tantrums.
That being said, his outbursts have to be quickly identified, and dealt with. Absolutely, there should be consequences to his actions. He should not be held to a different standard than other wrestlers, but he does need more attention, consistent discipline, and prompt responses to problem situations.
I'd love to see him known only for his wrestling, and not for the outbursts.
Then the DeSanto thing. Just an opinion, but a stated expectation of control while on the mat would probably go a long way.